I'm so freaking lonely. How do I break out of this pattern of isolation?

[mrrapperguy]

Usually I'd rather ask questions like this anonymously, but I really don't care anymore. I'm weak, insecure, alone. I don't know what to do really, and im scared that if I don't break out of this at a youngish age that I may never break out of this whole being completely alone thing. I'm not completely awkward or anything like that. I just have a hard time putting in the effort to sustain any real relationships with people. And those are the people I get to know. I usually have trouble like actually getting to know people. I don't get out as much as I should. Or at all, for that matter. What should I do?

[Idonthaveausername]

I used to not have any friends, but I was working on being able to move into my own place and then struggling to get a raise. Somewhere along the way I made a few friends at work because they saw my drive and thought I'd be a great person to hang out with. If you work on yourself and become confident and happy, people will want to get to know you and put the effort into being your friend

[mrrapperguy]

I do work with people and it is a rather social atmosphere at my job but like I keep people at arms length sub consciously or something because I mean I do say hi to people and small talk but like no real relationships being formed

[Idonthaveausername]

I'm that way too. I don't open up to people in real life until I'm sure they'll accept me for it

When I turned 20 I moved onto my own apartment and in nextdoor to a crazy sonofabitch whom I had nothing in common with, but he was extremely friendly and I didn't have cable or Internet or money to do anything with, so I ended up hanging out with him and his friends for entertainment. I don't talk to them anymore because they got kicked out, but getting to know a walk of life I never would've under any other circumstances changed my outlook on trying new things. They made sure I had a blast for my 21st birthday, and I've tried so many new things and hung out with new people I never thought I'd enjoy hanging out with since they came into and left my life. Now I have friends and a social life I've never had or expected to ever have

You have to give people a chance to get to know you. Even if you don't have anything in common, you can still enjoy each other's company

[mrrapperguy]

You're right about that. thanks :)

[Idonthaveausername]

You're welcome

I thought I'd be relieved when he moved out, but my new neighbor hasn't knocked on my door after midnight once, and I've never had to help her break into her own apartment at 5am (this happened three times with my old neighbor) because she doesn't get herself robbed by hanging out in bad areas of town. ROFLMAO. She's boring AF and the guy (and all of his rotating girlfriends) really grew on me. Luckily I made a new best friend at work at he same time they got kicked out. My social life has been something I never expected, but I've learned so much from the last year and a half that I wouldn't change a thing if I did it again

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Are you in college?

[mrrapperguy]

yeah. I'm in the midst of a small break right now but I go back in January

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Hang out with your roommate (s) if he (they) isn't/arent a prick (s). And join a club or 2 or do intramural/club sports and shit. It also doesn't hurt to get to know people in your dorm

[mrrapperguy]

that's the problem im not necessarily at a university right now. I go really close to home but I'm transferring to a university up state after I get my AA next semester

[Other_Tommy_Wiseau]

Ok. When you transfer. Do that shit. Making friends is easy. I'm not even talkative and I had a ton of friends in school