Do you think you’re living life for yourself or still trying to please others?

Question

Sometimes we don’t notice that we’re doing what others want like family, friends, or someone we love.
We stop being ourselves to avoid problems or to fit in.
Sometimes we even work hard for things we don’t really care about.

So… when did you start living for yourself?
Or are you still trying to find out how?

MisterWack · Accepted Answer

A mix of both.

Sometimes we don’t notice that we’re doing what others want like family, friends, or someone we love. So, I course corrected the trajectory of the path I was on which now is getting me to know what I want / what I need to be happier. Not happy, just happier since to find what makes us happy needs more time to figure out.

We stop being ourselves to avoid problems or to fit in. I’ve been there, I stopped being myself in school growing up to fit in / get people to like me also was afraid of judgement. Took time to realize, the people that truly care about me wouldn’t care and would let me be me.

So… when did you start living for yourself?
Or are you still trying to find out how?

Still trying to figure things out, but I did start living for myself recently to improve the road I’m on. It will be a long trek, though I know I can definitely manage to keep going especially with the support of people that care about me.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

"Sometimes we don’t notice that we’re doing what others want like family, friends, or someone we love." I would add to the list of possibly oppressive entities to please: Culture Society Religion Country What we think people want that they may not, in truth, want What we think we want because we didn't look deep enough within

Caroline91 · Accepted Answer

I seem to have been born kind of independent and have never really been much affected by peer pressure to "fit in," except for around the age of 12-13. But I got over it, which is good since I am more than a little quirky. I once had an assessment by a career psychologist and the results were that I should never consider any kind of conventional career options!! Yet, I can't really say that I just live my life for myself because I care a great deal about others' happiness, too. It is important to me that I know what my values are and do my best to live by those values so, I guess in that sense, I am living life for myself.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I'm def living my life, but a lot of what I do is in service to others, so... I'm somewhere in the middle here.

Lynx122 · Answer

I'm living for myself but a lot of my life I've been surviving. I had to put myself first and keep people away that I wasn't comfortable with. Now I'm trying to connect, open up, trying not to think, just relax and trust life wants the best for me. But in some ways this is even harder than just surviving. It takes more courage, trust and confidence. I just take small steps forward and see how it goes and usually I get quite far over time.

Sun_Kim-Ai · Answer

As of now I am trying to find the right balance.

It's not necessarily about pleasing others, it's about the responsibilities and duties I have towards them - I can't and won't shirk them.

At the same time, I also take time for myself, to discover and reassess who I am, whom I want to be and what I want yo do with my life.

Orion84 · Answer

I live for myself.

I used to live for others, until they started abusing that fact, and taking me for granted. Eventually I just said, "You know what? No, fuck this" and decided everyone else could piss off.

Now I take care of myself, and I'm happier for it. The selfish jerks had the right idea the whole time.

7Phoenix7 · Answer

Definitely for myself..  I spent too many years sacrificing my own happiness to make other people happy. Right , any decision I make is because I want to... for me.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

For myself, but also to please the ones I care about. I don't subscribe to the idea that they are mutually exclusive. Then again I'm picky with who my company is.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I am living for myself and also trying to please my wife, but I have limits on what I will do to please her. She has never been close to passing those limits.

exitseven · Answer

I have been trying to please other people my whole life.

Simslover92 · Answer

I think for the most part I'm living for myself but there are goals that I would like to reach that I feel would please my family.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Both. Successful lives are about compromise.

ManOnFire · Answer

Definitely  not  living life to please others.

beenherebefore · Answer

I'm living life for myself. I stopped trying to please others approx 10 years ago.

Jersey2 · Answer

I’ve never lived for others. It’s not always the smoothest road however. I do all I can for my family but that is different.

AngryCarl2 · Answer

On some level I'm probably still trying to please others. But then I remember that I'm AngryCarl2 and other people are fakes.

Anonymous · Answer

Life is balance. It's give and take, but that includes drawing lines.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Trying to live life for myself

Iron_Man · Answer

Others Mostly and help me to

grega239 · Answer

No. I've become selfish.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Myself. Pleasing others is a trap.

Sam1133 · Answer

I'm living for you ❤️

Anonymous · Answer

It can be both.

Sabretooth · Answer

neither. just survive.

Neliii1234 · Answer

Try for myself

slatyb · Answer

Not anymore.

jahaims · Answer

Speak for yourself.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah i do

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