What does it mean when a guy coworker says this to you “ I don’t want you to think I only talk to you when I need you to do something for me”?

[Anonymous]

He was passing by and said what’s up and said that phrase I was like I wasn’t thinking that what made you think I did he shrugged why would he tell me something like this? And we barely do speak tbh sometimes if we do it’s small chat and that’s all you think k maybe that’s why he felt like he needed to say that?

[Iron_Man]

He was trying to reassure you

[Asker]

Reassure me about what?

[Iron_Man]

That he is not using you

[Asker]

Okay I never thought he used me

[Asker]

He can be passing by and saying good job to me why would I think he using me

[Asker]

I mean yea we hardly speak and if we do it’s very limited conversations but than I think he trying to be professional

[Iron_Man]

Then why did he say that using you to get advice to figure something out do I have to explain everything every little detail

[Asker]

No he said I don’t want you to think I talk to you when I need you to do something for me as in can I take this pallet for him or take the paper there work wise

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you tell him that I want you to use me to help you get work information? Then ask him What are you doing Saturday night? Let’s get together and go to dinner

[Asker]

Lol no I don’t think he means that

[Asker]

I don't know what’s his problem

[Iron_Man]

Don’t worry about him focus on your work

[Asker]

I’m
Not just curious why it concerns him

[Iron_Man]

Maybe he likes you in a certain way

[Iron_Man]

If you like the guy back, talk to him

[Asker]

No he is a taken man

[Asker]

Makes me wonder if he thinks I like him and he trying to give me those comments so I realize he wants me to back off

[Iron_Man]

I don’t know, but you said he’s taking so forget about it

[Asker]

Yea so what’s his problem

[Iron_Man]

He just being polite to you. Maybe he thinks you’re attractive, but he can’t do anything about it because he’s taken.

[Asker]

Lol okay sir got ya he is very nice guy

[Iron_Man]

Ok ma’am, good

[Iron_Man]

Thank you for the award yay 😊

[Avicenna]

Just being friendly

[ManOnFire]

So I know you probably think it means he's interested in you - most girls think anything and everything a guy says or does means he likes them. I don't work with you or him so I can't say why exactly he said that, but it sounds like maybe he feels like he only ever talks to you when he needs something and he doesn't want to appear that way.

Word of advice for you as a teenager (your profile says 'under 18'): don't overthink a guy or read too deep into him, this is already what causes a lot of girls to end up creating friction and awkwardness with their male associations by presuming things about them.

[ManOnFire]

@Bennyjjj You are probably exactly the kind of girl I just described.

[Asker]

Nah I never really thought that I just don’t understand why he feels like he needs to explain himself bc I care less if he even talks to me all together

[ManOnFire]

Like I said, I don't really understand why he said it either but don't overthink it and just move on.

[Asker]

Right and the fact that he has mentioned that comment earlier it makes me even more awkward to talk to him. It’s like kinda as if he’s trying to make his way to talk to me, but then he on the other hand sounds like you don’t really wanna talk to me other than work related, but then you don’t want me to feel some kind of way so he’s kinda like making an excuse that But I mean he’s a man well why do I even really need him to have a conversation with him I guess you could just keep it professional as it should be. I respect the fact that he’s married and I don’t need any friendship.

[ManOnFire]

Is this guy a manager?

[Asker]

He is pretty important in the company where we work

[ManOnFire]

Okay, you should've mentioned that in your details because if he is someone in leadership then yes, there is a good chance that he IS interested and just trying to get a foot in the door with you. Male managers are always trying to date or fuck some girl on the job.

[Asker]

Ah he ain’t like that

[Asker]

His happily married sir

[ManOnFire]

Marriage never stopped a manager from trying with a woman on his job.

[Anonymous]

When a male coworker says, "I don't want you to think I only talk to you when I need you to do something for me," it suggests he's worried about how you perceive your professional relationship. He may feel like he's only interacting with you when he needs help, and he wants to clarify that he values you beyond just your ability to assist him. This could be a way of him trying to improve the dynamic between you, possibly by initiating more casual, non-work-related conversations. Since you don't talk often, he might feel self-conscious that your limited interactions are solely transactional, and this was his way of trying to change that perception and show that he's open to a more friendly, professional relationship.

[Asker]

Well he never really seemed to come across and actually have a decent conversation with me, but I think it’s bc he try’s to keep it professional especially when it comes to opposite gender… but he will say good job if he passes by or acknowledge me ask how I am and move on so I don't know why he had to mention how he felt

[Nikki1989]

He sounds insecure, would be my first thought.

[Asker]

Why u say that?