Do feminists hate traditional wives? I hope not?

[Anonymous]

I have a Niece (16) who recently begged me to let her come live with my wife and i.

Her reasoning, She told her mom (my wife's sister) that she doesn't want to be like her, She wants a loving family, children, and a husband. Her mom is a single mom, who works 60+ hours per week. she's one of these people who looks at my wife choosing to be a stay at home wife and mom with disdain like she is somehow better than her. According to my niece, she has said thing to her like "I want better for you than to waste your life being a wife and mother." Her mom calls my wife a traitor, Worthless, Stupid, and so on.

In our Niece's conversations with us, we have learned that mom is never there for things like school activities, or when she is sick, or when she achieves something. She states that she is lucky to see her mom 3 or 4 hours per week, other wise its almost entirely nannies and day care. she's never had a home cooked meal at home, its always frozen meals or take out. The first time we had her at our home, and my wife and i cooked (yes we share this responsibility), she thought she had died and gone to heaven. Before you ask "where's her father" in this. She was a sperm bank baby, She has no father. More or less, her mom treats her like she is an accessory at the best of times, and an inconvenience at the worst of times.

Her moms reaction to her wanting the kind of life my wife has was to ban her from ever seeing us again, and telling the rest of her family that we have corrupted her. From what i understand she's threatening to run away.

While i do not support her moms behavior, i am very hesitant to get involved. I keep thinking of how upset i would be if family tried to involve them selves with my own home. But i want so much to help her too.

Why do people like her, the feminist type, hate traditional families so much. I know its not all of them, but a lot seem to.

Updates

7 mo

cupcake as usual your comment is gone. Calling my way of life puritan? idiotic.

[emeraldsaphire]

This story breaks my heart. So I consider myself a feminist, I'm all for womens rights and fighting the Patriarchy, but i'm going to put in my 6 weeks soon to be a full time mom. Me and my husband think that will be the best way to raise a child.

As for her position. Through out most of human history women have been forced into these roles. It was never a choice to be a "tradwife" and their are a lot of men who don't want it to be a choice anymore. There are some women who hate the idea of being a sahm so much they can't see why anyone else would want it. They see it as abusive, the minute I quit my job I will become dependent on my husband, and like it or not that will form some kind of hierarchy. To some women that hierarchy is toxic and any women who chooses that path must be brainwashed or mentally ill. And they fear women like that will spread this idea to young women and girls.

[Asker]

My problem with feminists are those that shame women who choose that path. When I met my wife, I left the choice up to her. She chose to be a stay at home mom. If she wanted to stop doing that I'd support it, but she often tells me how much better she feels doing this than working outside the home constantly.

[emeraldsaphire]

I understand how she feels, but there are a lot of women who don't. They think they were shamed into being a SAHM so they feel like women need to be shamed into not doing it to achieve some kind of balance.

[Asker]

All that accomplishes is alienating a good chunk of women.

[Anonymous]

As a recovering feminist myself... yes, feminists hate traditional wives. Feminists view traditional wives as traitors who set the movement back. I felt that way too at one time in my life. I have since come to terms with the fact that I was wrong to think that way.

[Asker]

Thank you.

[Jersey2]

I think some people on the Left and the Right are just Looney Tunes. It sounds like her mom is and is intolerant of her choosing to live a different life than her.

My wife grew up that way and wanted to be a stay at hime mom even though I wanted a BMW. No BMW for me but my kids were the better for it. We lived in a nice neighborhood with a lot of stay at home moms. Many of them previously worked as RN, nurses which was interesting.

After taxes, day care and all the other stuff, you really don’t get much more money un a 2 income family vs 1 good one. I was able to work without distraction as she took care of everything in the homefront such as shopping, dealing with repair men, handling the hills, cooking, taking care of the kids, laundry, cleaning, dishes and more.

[egan3141]

Every "group" has crazies. The left just has a lot more of them right now. That isn't to say that left leaning people are mostly crazy, but leftists have gone so crazy, that if you aren't as crazy as them, they will kick you out of the group. If you kick out that people that aren't crazy, your group is gonna be almost only crazy people.