Have you ever dealt with friends who are in silent competition with you?

Question

Have you ever dealt with friends who are in silent competition with you? How did you notice? What is the best way to deal with friends like that?
What did these friends do? Did they, for example?

* Minimising your success.

* Go mute when you tell them about your success, accomplishment, or just good news?

* Try One-Upping you.

* Show "Copycat" Behaviour. (for example, you tell them about becoming good at playing basketball and suddenly they want to play basketball too when they were no interested before you said/showed you are getting good at it.)

* Forcing Competition: They act as a "rival friend" rather than a supportive peer.

A example, you're interested in dating a woman or guy, and suddenly your friend wants them too or the person to be interested in them more than you or wants their attention as well, claiming the person you want to date is just fun to be around etc).

* Did they maybe try to hijack or try to dismiss a compliment someone else gave you in their presence?

(For example a women complimnting you on your looks and your friend stepping in and tells the woman someing like ''Oh he is just tall, all women love tall guys'' .

Or another example a guy calling you beautifull in front of your friend and your friend telling them ''it's because she is wearing make up''.)

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

As a rule, guys don't resolve their conflicts in this way - reputation destruction or attacks on self-esteem. Instead, men get into physical fights, and usually, however the fight turns out, there is respect between them.

Unfortunately, this is how women compete with each other, and it's ultimately based on sexual reproductive competition. Women can "win" by either attracting a higher quality mate OR by damaging other women's reputation, confidence, and opportunities and thus being in a relatively better position by destroying others.

https://www.youtube.com/embed/lsy41uI1dmY

This is one reason why many women have a desire for a strong man who will lead them - they KNOW (even if they won't admit it) that they get out of hand with their vicious attacks on other women even as they fake a smile, and they need a man who can keep them from taking it too far - to provide boundaries. Most don't even realize this, but a few do.

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

not in a competitive way...

but, with my best friend... we can just go a good time in absolute silence, doing nothing...

we could sit for 20 or 30 minutes and say nothing much to each other... and he will be fine with that, and so would I... lmao

and then we could just continue or start a conversation out of nowhere like nothing happened, and it was never awkward either, lol

MissSunshine2 · Accepted Answer

Yes, some of my girl friends were jealous of me, but it wasn't really about me. It was their own unstable sense of self worth. With a bit of patience and kindness, they got over it. I have one who's still a bit competitive and it's annoying when she wants whichever guy I wanted first. Then I remind myself that no one is perfect and how tough her life is and what a good friend she is in other ways, so then I forget about it.

bobalife · Accepted Answer

Tbh it’s everything.. I think it’s awk, sad, tiring, disturbing, or disappointing. Real friends celebrate each other, not compete each other and tryna one up. It usually takes me a while to process and realize it or someone has to tell me since it’s easy for me to care too much to noticed sometimes how a friend can be doing you wrong.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I've found that a rivalry is fine but you have to be aggressive in not letting things get out of hand. You can't take things personally but a person who won't be there to help you when you need it in this context is definitely not your friend.

I used to work with a guy who literally broke down in tears when he admitted he was jealous of me and was torn between wanting to be friends and not being able to stand being second to someone else who was "clearly better"

His confession was jarring but it taught me the functional importance of the whole never outshine the master thing. You should always look for a place for someone to feel respected and like they're not walking in your coattrails so to speak.

MontBlanc · Answer

Yes, I have.

Silent competition among friends can be tricky because it’s subtle and often unspoken.

I handle it by focusing on my own growth, staying supportive, and not letting comparison dictate my self worth.

True friendship thrives on encouragement, not rivalry.

jshm2 · Answer

They are not "friends" don't treat them as such and they won't be able to hurt you.

There are such things as "scorpions in human suits" and such people are the type you want to avoid. Anything "good" you do, they want a part of it, anything bad happens to them, you were the "cause" of it.

ManOnFire · Answer

Not with my friends, but I most definitely have co-workers like this. They are prime examples of corporate employees who don't know how to be original and when they see that I am, they try to compete or even copy what I've done.

exitseven · Answer

I did not have any friends like that but I have a twin brother who used to try to compete with me.

boohoobuddy · Answer

Yes, but as another reply said, that's not really a friend. They may say so in order to keep the competition alive, but that's it. A rivarly is supposed to be understood, not enforced.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not that I have ever been aware of.

Abbycado · Answer

No, can’t say I have.

Still-alive · Answer

I don’t think so? I myself used to compare myself to others like all the time but i hav stopped doing that.

jahaims · Answer

That's not what a friend is lol

Have you ever dealt with friends who are in silent competition with you?

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