Is it shocking the very cops can be bullies themselves and even promote child abuse?

[Anonymous]

I had this happened 12 years ago. I was 15 at the same and have never forgotten that awful event.

I got in trouble for skipping school but it's because I had personal issues. I was dealing with anxiety, depression, hard time concentrating in math class (I didn't understand it) and there were a couple jerks I just didn't want to see anymore. I was raised by a single Cuban mother that lacked communication skills. She slapped me for that, followed by pulling my hair and smacking me a couple times, along with reprimands. She always resorted to physical punishment as first resort. During the struggle and trying to get away from her, to make her stop I ended up shoving her to the floor and screamed at her saying ''let go of me, stop hitting me, don't touch me'' in Spanish. I called the cops on her.

To my bad luck, the two idiotic cops happened to be bilingual, hispanics who defended my mother (they were defenders of physical punishment because they were raised like that too), told me she had the rights to correct me as long as there are no bruises nor marks and to wait until I'm 18 if I didn't like her rules. To make matter worse, several family members also supported my mother and kept saying I'll one day thank her for that. As soon as I turned 18, I left home and moved to another state. Our daughter-mother relationship never really recovered from that.

Till this day, I feel anger and still don't have a close relationship with my mother (I still resent everything) and no I never thanked her for that. Imagine how it would sound if I were married, had a husband that at times (not often) slapped around for verbally challenging him during an argument, then upon calling the cops on him... they were to tell me that ''hey as long as he's not punching you, leaving bruises nor blood, as long as there are no marks, it's ok, deal with it''. How would that sound like? Bad. I feel that was injustice done. Is it a shock how even cops can be bullies and promote child abuse?

Updates

2 mo

If my mother would've talk to me, communicate, let me know she's there to listen to whatever issue I had (I needed help at that time, needed to be heard, was struggling) instead of hitting to correct, on harsh reprimands... I would've trusted her with my issues.

Updates

2 mo

I felt as if my voice didn't matter. It's like the cops themselves literally telling me ''we don't care about you nor your side of the story, your mother is innocent, she can slap you whenever she wants too''. Yet that wouldn't be ok if a husband did that to his wife.

[OneViewpoint]

What's shocking is that police departments tend to hire Authoritarian racist personalities and then train them to be bigger assholes when those personalities should never be allowed anywhere near a gun and a badge. What happened to you is pretty mild compared to what happens to Black men at the hands of cops in the USA. Beatings and shootings are routine.

[Lliam]

I'm sorry that happened to you. And your feeling are justified. If my parents had treated me like that, I would have resented them for the rest of my life.

And those cops were ass holes for not taking a report and telling you mother that such behavior was child abuse.

[Asker]

yeah my relationship with my mother will always be very distant. I feel my relationship with my mother is just transactional. I don't really respect her nor love her deeply the way a daughter would be so proud of.

[Nikki1989]

This should come as no surprise for American law enforcement. You can even murder someone in the USA and get a free pass.

[Vesuvius87]

Not really. Some former school bullies become cops. They continue to bully others under their badge.

[Hunter-40m]

First of all sorry to hear what you lived back there İn where I live it can be considered the same the people chosen for police force aren't chosen on merit so people having some connections in government but not neccessary qualifications and lack of strong mental capabilitiy become police and reflect their inadequate personal features while doing their jobs to satisfy their egos bullying people unnnecesarily or not dealing with the matter effectively sometimes can be examples of this poor election system

[Asker]

Thank you for your understand. I think becoming a cop should be a special privilege only given to those that really have outstanding emotional intelligence, self-control, aren't bias and don't have bullying traits. They should be tested (ex: doing a simulation) on a real life example and if they demonstrate racist traits or treat a child like the way I was treated, those shouldn't ever qualify for a high position like that.
I'll become a mother one day and will raise my child differently than my mother; not hitting at all. I'll defiitely will treat my future child differently too.

[Hunter-40m]

Strongly agreed what you said I believe you will be a good mother after facing with the bad model but as long as people have this model of benefit system unfortunately nothing will change actually there are more to say but speaking till morning will also change nothing

[exitseven]

There were a lot more police brutality when I was a kid growing up. However , UI have literally known hundreds of cops and 99%v of them are good people who want to help their communities.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Police as an institution are lost. They have utterly lost the plot. Though look up the history of how we even got police. It's a shocking story

[AngryCarl3]

Nothing really surprises me any more. A lot of cops just want a uniform because it gives them power to mess people around.

[Asker]

yeah that's just horrible. I think all cops should be given a deep psychological assessment and anyone that thinks like those two cops should be removed from the academy.

[Staximus]

How many times did your mom tell you to not do stupid shit like ditch school for bullshit reasons before she slapped you?

[Asker]

None. It was just that one single day I skipped school because I literally hated school. I felt suffocated in that environment. It's not like I ever really had a good communication with her either. To her it was all about hitting and hitting to ''discipline''; that was all she never knew. She didn't even try communicating first at least.
It's awful how as a minor under 18, I'm suppose to just stand there and take it. How was that even helping me with my issues? I needed communication, guidance, love, understanding, close mother-daughter bonding, not hitting nor threats as the first and only resort.

[Asker]

Plus it's not like if I had been open about it, it would change things, nope. My mother has a stubborn personality and is difficult to deal with. If I would have told her how much I hated school, she would have treated it like I was a brat exaggerating things and to stop complaining. She wouldn't have listen to me at all. She never cared about my issues. To her it was only about either hitting me into submission or using verbal threats, thinking that magically that's going to make a decent person, thinking that's the only way. I still don't have a good relationship with my mother and never will.

[Staximus]

The way you felt about school was not a valid excuse to ditch, you were just being mentally weak. It also was not a valid excuse for your mother to hit you.

[Staximus]

Your mom sounds like a real piece of work, has she ever apologized to you for anything?

[Asker]

Nope, she never did and likely never will. She's still so embedded in her belief and thinks that's why I didn't do drugs and that I should be thanking her. Her parents (my grandparents) raised her that way too and she thanks them. I find that twisted and so wrong.
Meanwhile I never want to raise my future child like that.

[Texaskid1]

Most cops are unstable. That many of them are bullies should come as no surprise.

[Asker]

That's sad. I lost faith in them ever since that event. I think cops should be evaluated psychologically first and the badge should be given only to those who are truly doing a good job on it.

[Thecubs22]

No. Because they're just as human as everyone else.

[jahaims]

No lol, why would that be shocking