How do you feel about daily unannounced visits from your family?

[Greenmarble123]

How would you feel if your sibling showed up unannounced every single day with their whole family (their partner and kids)?

Is that something you’re used to or something completely against your rules?

I don’t mind, I love being this close

I would lose my mind having no privacy

[SueShe]

I love my family dearly and on one hand, I am glad I live 100 miles away from them.

None of my siblings are married or have children and that would solve part of the problem. However, I can reasonably say that I would not be too happy if they hypothetically would pass every single day with the entire family. I love children but I am always glad when I can return them at the end of the day to their rightful parents or guardians.

I would probably rebel if I was placed in that situation and I would not hesitate to tell them to space their visits to something like once every 2 weeks.

It is nice to have the family visiting but much less nice to clean after them once they leave. I could not stand to have to do that every day.

[Greenmarble123]

Exactly… Here’s the situation… My partner lives with his mother.. and his sibling comes over every single day unannounced with their children. I come here only on weekends because we are long distance, sometimes I stay longer but I don’t imagine living here. I’m expecting a child with my partner and I can’t imagine raising them in such environment. I feel like they are coming over even more excessively. I’m seriously thinking of going home either today or tomorrow morning but I know my partner and his mother will judge me
for that or think I’m a drama queen but this is draining me. It’s not my house I can’t say who can come and who not but they also can’t tell me I have to suffer in this hell. I love my partner but I don't know. Shall I go home tonight (they’re gone now but I know they’ll come back tomorrow).. or shall I go tomorrow? or shall I wait til Tuesday? Because that was primary an agreement so mom doesn’t start hating me and then just don’t show up next week around? I don't know

[SueShe]

It is a problem when you are not at your own home and cannot make a decision without hurting anyone's feelings.

I think that you need to have a serious conversation with your partner about what is acceptable to you and where you have to draw a line. You are pregnant and thus, he has also to keep that in mind and talk to his family because it puts a stress on you.

You can perhaps cut a deal with him whereas they may come every 3rd day rather than every single day because you also have the right to your privacy, which you don't have.

Talk about it with him and leave perhaps only tomorrow rather than tonight.

[Amy10223]

I have a brother who used to do this, unannounced and with his wife or family. It was not appreciated by my then husband, nor should it have been.

I know there are certain nationalities where this is common, and it is always thought that family is always welcomed. However, I feel it is not right to have to have company without notice. What of you were going out somewhere important, or had company (especially private company) yourself? It is breaking against your personal boundaries if you allow this to happen. What to do? Tell family you will no longer be accepting these kind of no-notice visitations. If they refuse to listen--don't open the door. Create boundaries, even with family, so that you keep yourself from going insane. That would bother the hell out of me now. It's unfair to you.

[Amy10223]

PS- I have a sister, who would visit EVERY single weekend, or just about, because she loved far and was the only married sibling. We lived with my aunt and mother--sisters--and my aunt was getting tired of her visits. They were practically every weekend so we couldn't do anything ourselves. I could never do that and expect people not to have anything to do. I once told her about it--that our aunt was getting tired--and it didn't seem to bother her at all. Or, she just didn't understand.

[ChiTown33]

It wouldn't happen. My apartment is in a secured building. I mean they could show up in the parking lot unannounced but they ain't getting in.

And it would be fine.

[Greenmarble123]

Lucky you

[DryGermanGuy]

Yikes. I would move elsewhere and "forget" notifying them.

[Greenmarble123]

Exactly this feels like a public place. Should I go home and risk my partner and his mom being offended and look bad on me or just suffer another day? I know tomorrow they’re gonna come again and again.

[DryGermanGuy]

You need to put your foot down. Limit the invasions for the weekends.

[Greenmarble123]

I can’t because it’s not my place. That’s the thing.

[Amy10223]

I would certainly risk it. Don't be afraid off stating your feelings, because if you don't fix it now, you'll forever have this problem. Tough, if they don't like it. But that's me. I'm not afraid to hurt feelings anymore, they should know better. Your feelings count too.

[Cutegirl06]

I have an aunt that comes over our without calling, it drives me crazy!! I think it's rude also 😕

[Amy10223]

Tell her you have company--in your bedroom. She'll get the hint!

[Cutegirl06]

@Amy10223 🤣🤣 good one thanks!!

[Amy10223]

Yes!! 🙌

[Screenwriter]

People need to call before showing up. Especially with an entire family. Something's wrong with your sibling that they don't know about privacy. Best to put your foot down and say No more unannounced visits of ANY kind. Either call before coming to ASK if it's OK, or you won't answer the door. JEEZ!

[DishLady]

Lol. Regardless of howI FEEL they hop on in anyway. There are terrific memories as well as a few moments I’d love to unsee and forge, but overall it’s just the layout of my family… nothing I can change or control. At best I can manage when I’m available to be home for them.

[LifeHitMeandRan]

Even my mother knows better than that. Unless it is an emergency, I do not answer the door for ANYONE who just walks up. Anyone that has a reason to be there will have notified me ahead of time. Also, I need advance notice so I can disarm some... stuff so that if anyone walks anywhere besides the direct path to the front door they won't get hurt.

[molonski2]

It's hard for me to answer because it would simply never happen , on one hand I like the idea of being close kit , on the other hand ( assuming I've your age ) I was doing many things at it would be highly unlikely I'd be home..

Think it might be a good idea to let you know , right?

[LiamJHayden]

Since I am an orphaned only child of two only children whose grandparents combined had one sibling who never reproduced, I'd be thrilled to have family show up unannounced, or have family at all.

[Apulu_backagain]

2nd option. Just wanna say that the photo cover of this question is old Malcolm!

[beenherebefore]

That's not respecting my boundaries.

[Greenmarble123]

Same here. I couldn’t imagine living in such situation. That means I always have to be on the hook when someone will come. Forget privacy. My partner lives with his mom and his bro comes over every single day along with his family. It bothers me so much and now that I’m pregnant I’m even more annoyed. I can’t raise a baby in such a public place. I wanna go home like right now but I know his mom and my boyfriend will blame me and find it weird… Shall I just leave tomorrow morning instead? I don't know what to do..

[beenherebefore]

I think this is something you need to discuss with your Partner and how these unexpected visits bother you and disturb your privacy especially now that you're pregnant. Best advice I can give you is move out with your Partner as soon as you can.

[Greenmarble123]

Well he can’t move out because he’s tied to this farm but I can’t live like this either. I tried to talk to him about this but he doesn’t wanna have a conflict with them or feels like its okay, perfectly normal.

[beenherebefore]

Well, it's his family it's his responsibility to set clear boundaries with them not you. I wouldn't be able to live like that for much longer either especially after having a baby.

[Greenmarble123]

Exactly but he’s afraid of setting boundaries because sometimes his bro helps him with his farm.. but I still don’t think it excuses the behavior. a lot of times it’s just because they got nothing to do where they live, and here it’s a lot more pleasant + free food, free childcare. Why not. What would you do if you couldn’t talk it out and he lived with his parent too. If I leave and go home I know his parent and my boyfriend will def think bad of me, but if I stay I know tomorrow will be no different. I still want them to think good of me but I’m gonna lose my mind. My partner tries to make it okay by saying it’s normal for a lot of people here… but it’s nowhere normal to me.

[AngryCarl3]

Calling first to schedule a visit is the bare minimum od politeness.

[AngryCarl3]

*of politeness

[Godihateyou]

I wish. Most of my family is dead and the rest live 2000 miles away and I haven't seen them in 10 years.

[LC75LC71]

At least yearly would be nice!

[Greenmarble123]

I know right.

[Abbycado]

Unannounced is fine but not every day.

[Greenmarble123]

How often would it be acceptable to you

[Abbycado]

Couple times a month.

[Greenmarble123]

I can’t imagine raising my child in environment so unpredictable

[Anonymous]

Malcolm should've never moved out of home 🤭🤪

[Opinion Owner]

He became Raymond 😆😈

[rapfan107]

Gimme me a heads up first

[Sammy098]

I would be pissed