Am I holding my brother back by being his only close friend?

[Anonymous]

So this might be a bit of a weird question, but after my friend made a comment on it its kinda worming through my head

Basically, ever since i was little my brother has been my best friend, and we played together and then hanged out together like almost all the time, and its not just me asking him, its also him just wanting to do stuff with me a lot. And i always loved this, we almost never argue, and my best friend is just 1 room to the left and almost always up to do something, even "boring girl stuff" as he says but still tags along happily or happily drives me around if i need something since he got his license almost 4 years ago.

But anyway so i was hanging out with my girlfriends the other day and she was talking about her cousin because aparently he has a drug problem and is getting a divorce, and the talk just shifted to talking about family stuff, and the one with the cousin called my brother a loser. Like she said "well my cousin is an even bigger loser than your brother" in that context. Comment took me very off guard and i got really mad and i started to argue like wtf he is not, he is super chill and fun to hangout with, and they said that to them he looks like a loser, because he is almost 22, never had a girlfriend, and his sister is his only friend. And i said that its not true because he has some online friends with whom he plays games and stuff, and they said that very often when they call me out i say i can't because im hanging out with him instead, and that online friends dont count, and that he is a loser.

It got me very angry that they talk about him like that and i left and went home but it is running through my head a lot. He really does spend almost all his free time with me when he is not gaming, and IRL i never really seen him hangout with other friends. I dont want people to think he is a loser, but i feel like, maybe its me. Maybe im holding him back, and he isn't making other friends because of me. Should i try to push him away a bit?

[Cutegirl06]

First that was very rude of your cousin saying he's a loser! I wouldn't push him away, it sounds like you are the only person he truly trusts. Does he have social anxiety? Maybe he's just not ready for a girlfriend yet and that's okay! Just because he's 22 and never had a girlfriend doesn't make him weird. Sounds like your cousin can't think for herself and goes by what society thinks. There's nothing wrong with a brother and sister getting along as best friends. It sounds like you 2 have a special bond as siblings.

[Asker]

sorry i might have worded it weird because im german, English is not my native language but it wasn't my cousin, it was one of my girlfriends, one of them has a cousin who has a drug problem and getting a divorce, and she called him a loser, and then she said he is a biger loser than my brother, and so i just refered to her as "the friend with the cousin" because i dont want to just say their actual names. So it was one of my girlfriends that called him that, not my cousin, i dont actually have any cousins, my mom is an onlychild.

But yes since i asked this i thought about it a lot and i talked to my brother and asked him if he feels like im wasting his time and if im the reason he doesn't have other IRL friends or a girlfriend, and he got very upset and he said that he is very happy that im his friend. He sat down with me and he told me he got bullied a lot in elementary school, which i didn't know at all, he was hiding it from all of us. I asked him why he never told us before and he said that he was afraid i would think that he is a coward and wouldn't want to be his friend anymore, and that he tried making other friends but i was the only one who didn't hate him, and that he was super scared when i was like 12 that i would stop hanging out with him because he expected i would find him boring because girls dont like hanging out with their brothers to his knowledge.

So its all okay we talked it out and he doesn't think i hold him back, he just says he is just bad at socializing and that he needs to expand to other people at his pace, and thats fine by me.

[Cutegirl06]

Well I'm glad it worked out!

[Cutegirl06]

Thanks for MHO

[Nikki1989]

That wouldn't help.

But you can be someone's closest friend without holding them back — those aren't automatically the same thing.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Your "friend" shouldn't be your friend anymore.

She is obviously a rude hoe.

She deserves to be spanked until her cheeks get red.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. Protect and value the relationship you have with your brother. If he wanted to go out and meet new people he would, it’s not because of you he isn’t doing it. If you push him away all that will happen is you’ll ruin your relationship and he’ll continue his gaming as usual. Your friends sounds very rude and judgmental. Of course you can encourage and support him if he wants to go hang out with other people, but if not then drop it.