Why is my coworker acting friendly again after talking behind my back?

[Anonymous]

I made a new friend at work and she said she felt like she needed to tell me something personal we really became close she said that my long term friend told her about me that I talk and that the other girl named Kelesha would be better for her as a friend… and kept bringing Kelesha up ohhh I only trust Kelesha etc yet she be trying to be my friend than I found out and confirmed it with her she started going off on me in front of my new friend saying how I sugarcoat things and I do say stuff and basically making me look very bad … after that I just said good morning and haven’t spoke much today and other day she tried to be super friendly and all nice and chit chatty to me I don’t understand if I was that of a bad person why is she trying to get close to me again

[Coercion_Is_Trauma]

People are fighting against their own subconscious. She might be trying to be a good person. But willpower is an egoic force. It can suppress a behavior, but it cannot dissolve the unconscious complex generating the compulsion. Eventually willpower fatigues, and the harder one tries to reassert it the more they lose touch with reality. ㅤ

[Asker]

Wym a good person how

[Coercion_Is_Trauma]

I believe that there is heavy weight behind "people never change" but it isn't due to lack of willpower. More like an excess of it. So she might be "trying" to be one, really hard, even if she is, the reason people are bad is their subconscious mind. You asked why. Not because of lack of willpower. I wouldn't even call it emotional issues because usually people try to treat emotional issues with even more willpower.

[jazzy34]

Someone who talks behind your back is not your friend. Focus on your job and ignore her.

[Asker]

But why she trying to be Al friendly to me again if I’m that of a bad person in her eyes

[WhitneySnow]

She is manipulative and narcissistic. Don’t trust her.

[Asker]

Why you think she doing that?

[WhitneySnow]

She doesn’t really think you’re a bad person, or if she does she doesn’t care. She just wants to cause trouble between you and your other friend.

[Asker]

Jealousy?