How do you start healing after losing someone you were closest to?

[Veronika_p]

I honestly don't know how to put this into words, but I've been struggling a lot these past few weeks 😞

I lost my favorite aunt, and she wasn't just my aunt to me. She was one of the closest people in my entire life. In some ways, I was even closer to her than I am to my own mom. She knew me in a way that not many people did. I could talk to her about almost anything, and somehow she always knew what to say. She was the person I could call when I was happy, upset, confused, or just needed someone to listen...

Now she's gone, and I'm realizing how much of my life was connected to her... Everything keep reminding me of her, and sometimes it hits me all over again that I can't call her or hear her voice anymore. Some days immediately I feel like I'm okay for a while, and then something small brings everything back. It's exhausting.

I'm trying to understand how you actually learn to live with a loss like this. Not necessarily forget the person, because I don't think I ever want to, but learn how to carry the grief without feeling like it's consuming you...

For those of you who have lost someone you were incredibly close to, how did you get through those first few months? What helped you slowly find your way back to yourself? I'd really appreciate hearing your experiences, whether your story is happy, sad, or somewhere in between 😭😭

I've been offline away from the internet because of this

[ohsheeT]

Im so sorry for your loss of your aunt. My Aunt and i were close
And in many ways closer than my mom and I

My aunt love to laugh so when we were around each other I don't care where we were or what we were doing but I would make her laugh and I would make her pure pants every single time she was not only my hand but she was like a mom she was a friend so I know what you mean


Last year I lost my dad and a month later lost my mom they both lived in different states I was taking care of my mom so I couldn't go see my dad before we pass so that kind of hurt even though I didn't know him very well but I didn't know him

I think with any loss it's hard and you just have to remember the good times

And also It depends on you what you believe in

I believe that we Are Spiritual Beings they haven't a human being experience everything on this planet vibrates everything on this planet is energy and our true selves live on the inside of us or spiritual energy and I really don't believe that it dies energy Never Dies

I believe that we will see each other again I believe that we are here on this planet to learn something if we don't learn it we get to come back and do it again now I personally don't want to come back and do it again so I'm trying to learn everything possible

As energy I believe that your aunt is still around you I also believe that you can talk to her and she can hear you and if you are quiet turn off TV music and just sit by yourself any place that's quiet I believe that she will come around you and something will happen to make you aware that she is there

I've lost a lot of people in my life and it really sucks and every time I lost somebody it made me think about things I should have said or done or just became a better person for that person

Except for my mom I think I did that one right before she passed

But I think anytime that we lose somebody that we love it's really hard because of all the fun times all the crazy things that we shared with them and it's a bond it's a closeness that you can't get back until you either meet somebody like them or you become more like them and you share yourself with somebody

saying everything above about seeing each other again I don't know that for a fact but I do believe it and I will always believe it

Just because of who I am and all the things that I believe in about God and Who We Are and who we can become once we clear all the garbage out of our systems and all the lies that we have been told We Are Spiritual Beings

Close your eyes right now and say your aunt's name but do not say it out loud don't move your mouth just say her name and when you do that pay attention because your mouth didn't say anything but you're going to hear those words come from the inside of you now who is that that said that you didn't just say it but you can hear it plain as day her name that's your spiritual self that is who you truly are is that person that said those words without moving your lips I know that sounds weird but try it I've been on the journey for the last past 20 years to find out who we truly are and what we are meant to do why we're here and I found out so many truths and lies about everything and it has changed my way of everything how I see things how I feel things

The only thing you can do really is just keep telling her that you love her and you miss her and she will be around you she will come and say hello in her own way that you have to believe that in order for it to happen once again I'm so sorry that you have to go through this pain but there's a reason for it and the reason is you have to find out the answer because it's a part of life and there is a message there there's a learning experience there all I know is what I learned from all the people that have passed in my life

[ohsheeT]

I guess I could answer your question now LOL the first thing you have to do is you have to acknowledge it and accept it no matter what goes on in our lives no matter what it is the quickest way to get through it is acknowledge it and then accept it and then go from there

[Veronika_p]

Thank you very much for this

[ohsheeT]

That's why it's sometimes necessary to be very quiet and very still because you have to remember something she lost you too so she's always trying to talk to you she's going through as much grief as you're going through so you both have to talk to each other positive and just tell each other

[NathanDavis]

how... will just vary from person to person, probably case by case scenario

the only thing I could say to you, and I've been through is that... only time, time, and even more time, can maybe, make you start to feel like the memories become more of bittersweet, and then, after some more time... they might bring a smile to your face, and your heart...

the other thing, there's the other around you, still with you... I'd assume they lost someone too, so... be there for them and hopefully they will be there for you too...

I don't carry the burden of grief anymore (it's been a long long time though) I just carry their joy, their memory and all they mean to me, you know... in the heart, they're still there with you all the time... even if one of these days in the future it feels like, or realize that "you don't remember" or that you "have not thought of them" for a minute or for a while... that might feel really bad but, that's also part of healing...

[Veronika_p]

Thank you 😞

[Tarifa]

These are situations you don't want to go through, but are somehow inevitable. I've lost my grandmother (the mother of my mother) many years ago. She was the center of the family. Family members, i. e. my parents, sister, aunt and uncle, and cousins, would gather at her house nearly every weekend. It was just a good safe, place to be. She understood everyone's character and needs.

The sad thing is that at the time she left, I had already moved to another country. So even when I got news of her breaking her hip, and heard how much her health got worse over the following days, I could not make it back in time. I got back for her funeral, that was the best I could do. Somehow, I think I was in her thoughts during her last days, so that is a comforting thought.

You can turn to religion, if you are religious at all. Or you can talk to her closest family members, like your cousins, if she had any children.

I never knew my other grandmother, as she died 4 years before I was born. I hardly knew my other grandfather, he passed away when I was 4 or 5. Memories are all you have now. Cherish those memories, they are important.

[sage2021]

I'm so sorry that you have to experience one of the hardest things that happen to us in our lives.
I'm sure that you miss her terribly and you miss her comfort of being there for you.

Not to take away from what happened to you, but my boyfriend died suddenly 3 years ago.

The one thing that made me get through it was that I was there when he said the sinners prayer and accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior.

I knew that he was in heaven and not hell. If I thought he was in eternal hell, I would still be struggling with his passing.

The only other thing that helps, even when a love relationship ended and you're hurting is TIME. A lot of people say that because it's true.

Naturally you will always keep her close to your heart and that won't ever stop. But with a lot of time, it does get better, not gone, but better.

RIP Aunt

[Veronika_p]

Thank you 😭

[sage2021]

You're so welcome! Just realize that it's going to take a while and give yourself time.
I will say a prayer 🙏🏼 for you.

[Veronika_p]

I appreciate

[thegreenyogi]

I'm very sorry for your loss. I lost my father to brain cancer 10 years ago. He was my twin and my pillar. He knew and understood me like nobody else because we were practically identical. I watched him go from being a work machine to a vegetable and when he passed I didn't or couldn't even afford the luxury to grieve properly. After many years I can say that grieve or loss never disappears it just gets easier to live with. What helped me was the idea that I didn't actually loose him. For me it's just a temporary separation and they always live in you.

[Veronika_p]

Thank you

[TonyMetal___1986]

First of all, i'm sorry for your loss and may she r. i. p 🙏🏻
Second, i have noticed that you weren't active for awhile...

You have to be aware that no one will be able to replace your aunt, she'll always be in your memories, the grieving will take time and after that, you'll learn to cope, somehow your aunt will still take care of you, like a guardian angel, might lead you to someone whom you will feel comfortable with and able to share your feelings with... etc

I believe that somehow our loved ones who passed away are still able to help us in someway, you'll only feel it in the right time...

[Veronika_p]

Thank you very much 🙏

[TonyMetal___1986]

You're welcome

[Bklynbadboy12]

I want you to think about your aunt and think about what she'd want for you. Would she want you to be sad or happy and you know she'd want you to move on in life and be the best version of you that you can be. So don't cry and be sad that she's gone instead be happy that she was here and for the time you got to spend with you. Remember your favorite aunt would want the best for you. Now get out and enjoy life the way she would've wanted you to. OK! 😉😉😉

[Veronika_p]

😞😞😞😞

[DryGermanGuy]

From my own experience, it takes a couple of years to adapt. 😐

[Veronika_p]

Must be really hard

[DryGermanGuy]

It can be depressing, for sure.

[Taranis_Thunor]

You never heal you just have to accept your new reality. I lost my dad when I was 21.

[PeterLegg91]

With time you'll heal, when I lost my nan it stung for awhile :( then you learn how to remember them and the memories and carry on with life ❤️

[Staximus]

It's just going to take time

[Veronika_p]

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

[Staximus]

There’s nothing you can do, just hang out with people that love you

[Staximus]

Don’t isolate yourself

[Anonymous]

Find someone else you connect with on a better way

[_Jenny_]

@Veronika_p it just takes time

[Veronika_p]

It's like forever

[Sickworld]

Time heals wound

[wkhan_87]

Everything will be fine by time

[Veronika_p]

I pray 🙏

[Dullie]

Sad to hear