Is it wrong for an aunt for their mentally disabled and mentally ill niece to not let her talk to their daughter?

[Anonymous]

She don’t want her talking to her daughter alone anyone because she don’t want her asking anything inappropriate but she would never say something inappropriate and the daughter dislikes her now and will always ignore her when she tries to talk to her. Is this wrong on every level? The daughter is elementary school age. The niece is a good person! This all started this year as she’s getting older super weird situation!

It’s wrong of her to keep her away from her daughter

She’s doing the right thing by keeping her away from her daughter

The niece is wrong for disliking her cousin

[HollyK21]

The aunt probably recognizes that her niece has a habit of openly discussing inappropriate topics and doesn’t want to take that risk around her kid. Maybe the niece should reevaluate her choice of words, because the aunt didn’t start feeling this way out of thin air most likely. Especially if the niece has any sort of mental health issues she may not be able to help herself.

[Asker]

That doesn’t mean that she has to keep her away from her daughter she’s family and she knows better not to ask inappropriate questions around her. What do you think?

[Asker]

This doesn’t mean to ever talk to her again that’s harsh don’t you think? The aunt should just tell the niece to not ask any inappropriate questions around her right not keep her away from her entirely right?

[HollyK21]

You have to keep in mind that just because your family does not mean a parent shouldn’t protect the wellbeing of their child. If you are the niece in question, I see mention of you being mentally ill and mentally disabled, so how well are you managing that? How certain are you that you aren’t privy to an inappropriate comment unintentionally slipping out? I don’t want to vilify your aunt, and since I don’t know her personally I think it’s fair/safe to assume that she’s formulated this opinion of you over the course of time and not overnight. If she’s used to you having outbursts or consistently having inappropriate discussions then why should she assume you’ll be able to manage it better around her kid? Simply because you said so? What if your promises and reassurances aren’t reliable anymore?

[Asker]

I do not have outbursts and I am managing my mental illness with medication and it’s starting to help a lot and I am going to therapy a lot. But it won’t slip around her an inappropriate comment because I’m not mentally challenged. I act normal so therefore she should have me around her. My promises are reliable because I know better not at act this way around a child it’s just plain wrong I hope she understands this. What do you think? I’m getting better with my mental illness and she should let me talk to get daughter.

[HollyK21]

It’s cool that you are trying to manage your mental health and working hard in therapy. But at the end of the day, a parent has the absolute right to decide who is around their child, and nobody is automatically entitled to a close relationship with someone else's kid—even family.
You say you "act normal" and your promises are reliable, but your aunt is the one who gets to decide what she feels safe with. Rebuilding damaged trust (if there is any) doesn't happen overnight just because you've started medication and therapy. If you want her to see you are getting better, the best way to prove it is by respecting her boundaries right now, rather than pushing to get your way. She only doesn’t want you alone with her daughter, not keeping you apart entirely. I think that’s fair for now.

[Anonymous]

That’s a tough one. I think your aunt is being narrow minded but at the same time I kind of understand her concern.

[Asker]

She is being narrow minded how?

[Opinion Owner]

Like assuming that you would try to corrupt her daughter’s morals

[Asker]

And that’s wrong of her to think that and it’s wrong of her to keep me away from her right? I’m not a bad person!!

[Asker]

Or violent so this is concerning to me why she would want a good person away from her daughter. Why?

[Opinion Owner]

You’re not, but I can understand her concern. Parents often don’t think rationally when it comes to their young children. She doesn’t want her daughter getting ideas about having casual sex in middle school.

[Asker]

I would never talk about casual sex to her are you crazy? So why would she keep me away from her? I can tell my aunt I would never talk about sex to her

[Opinion Owner]

That’s why I said maybe your aunt is being narrow minded. If you promise not to talk about stuff like that around her daughter, I think she should let you hang out with her. Of course, I’m trusting by saying that that you are less obsessive in real life than you come across on here.

[Asker]

Yeah she should