Why do some parents expect relatives to provide free childcare?

[Kassandra1994]

Its like one forced people to have kids instead of talking about coming up with a plan some people have kids layer guilt trip family members about not helping out to become their kids nanny. My sister has done tricks to my mom showed up no phone called or text just showed up and expected to what her spoiled brat. Now my sister try to do the same thing to me I never open the door she called while she was at my front porch I told her the andwer is no I had to work yet she insistes to called of work so that I could be a nanny for that day andswer was no. She gets angry woth me called me names and claim that my mom and I are selfish when all I did was setting my bounderies the whole argument went threw a phone called. My sister kid is spoiled to the point my nephew would turn my living room into a football feild that kid throw a tablet at my face laugh at me called me Miss Piggy from Mumpets the kid is a toddler and spoiled dare devil. Now why do some people expected family members to be nannies?

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

We never did this with our kids and when we did eventually have my brother watch them regularly, we paid him like we would a daycare. He didn't have a job at the time and could use the money so it was a win/win for all of us.

I would never just expect someone to watch our kids without asking first, but honestly, especially with my mom, she would ask to have them stay over and not have us asking her.

[Kassandra1994]

You see the parents from your generation did a great job raising kids and told teach them boundaries and respect. The parents from my generation the millenials are all into the gentle parenting thing my nephew henis only three and throw hisntanlenat my face my sister laugh at me insteadbofncorrecting my nephew hebhas turn my living room into a football field along with throwing around my christmass elfs more home decor he some hownmanagedbto chopped my elfs head off and head laugh. This is why teachers and the boomer grandparents do not want anything to do with kids because the People from my generation the Millenials are horrible parents. At the time when I was 5years old if my parents saw my throwing someone else home decore I would be in huge trouble with my parents. It is good you were considerate and I am sure you and your husband communicated first with your brother unlike my sister showing up no text no phone call.

[Kassandra1994]

This happend at my sister College Graduación back in 2004 I was 11 years old at the time I took off running along with my cousin my dad was not putting up with such my goofing off behavior yes my dad yelled at me. And I dont blame him Chicago City is a high trackic road.

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

Yeah my wife and I would definitely always ask before we do anything like that, but we have mostly done a form of gentle parenting ourselves. Our son is high functioning autistic and wouldn't deal with with physical punishment (even if we were inclined to do it). We can be strict but to do it successfully, you have to be consistent in your style and messaging and it doesn't sound like that is happening with your sister. She sounds entitled.

[Kassandra1994]

Oh ok I see but with your wife and you gentle parenting it is the best choice for your child you and your wife are great parents. My sister drives people in general off the walls.

[Beatriz90]

I think some parents confuse family love with an obligation to help. Being related to someone doesn’t mean you’re automatically responsible for their children. It’s not okay to bring children into the world and then expect relatives to take over the responsibilities of raising them.

[Staximus]

If your sister showed up at your house and expected you to call in sick to watch her spoiled brat, she’s an idiot and the most inconsiderate person. Tell her “I’m not your servant, now fuck off"

[jazzy34]

My great grandmother babysat me free of charge. She saw it as a labor of love. Plus, my parents were newly married, in their early twenties, and both worked full time when I came along. So, my great grandmother didn’t want to put that burden on them. Anyway, I guess everyone has a different mindset about this.

[lilBigPotato]

I think having close relatives (especially parents) help take care every now and then is normal, but obviously you should ask first and not just show up and expect them to change all their plans.

[GothEgg]

Always nice when family helps each other out. That support system is so great. People are lucky if they have family who helps them and should reciprocate

[Anonymous]

Lots of people like to take advantage of people's loyalty to relatives. It's baffling.

[Nikki1989]

Because that is the norm for many families.

[Anonymous]

They don't realize they don't actually want children and the responsibilities that come with them, they just like the idea of having children.

[Agape93]

Because in many cultures, that's actually a normal thing.

[LotharioENERZY]

they are fool, its your child you are responsible.