Family & Friends
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How can I maintain a relationship with family who constantly put me down?

Growing up, I've always felt like the least valued of my three sisters, largely because I was the youngest. I had a happy childhood in many ways, but I was constantly made to feel that my personality was a problem. I was bubbly, outgoing, loved singing, dancing and acting, whereas my family were introverted. I was criticised for being loud and expressive and made to feel like a difficult child, despite my sisters often getting into trouble themselves.

I spent years trying to earn my family's approval by being well behaved, pretty and making everyone laugh. As I've grown older, I've realised how much I was made to doubt myself. Thankfully, meeting my husband and making new friends showed me that the things my family criticised are actually things people love about me.

I still feel there's a double standard. My sisters' achievements are celebrated, whereas my good news is often met with jokes, criticism or comments about me and my husband being posh or snobbish. I've repeatedly felt expected to minimise my happiness to protect everyone else's feelings, even when mine are disregarded.

Recently, I've been supporting my pregnant sister, who has been experiencing dangerously high blood pressure. I've taken her to hospital, spent hours there, helped organise things for her baby and checked on her daily, all whilst caring for my own three-month-old daughter. I've also had to contact my mum and her husband when she needed help getting to hospital. I've been particularly disappointed by how little responsibility her husband seems to have taken.

Despite everything I've done, my sister has been rude towards me, and I feel I cannot defend myself without becoming the villain. Even ordinary conversations can result in dismissive comments, whereas she can behave however she likes.

I've muted the family group chat because I'm exhausted. When I stop making the effort, everything goes quiet. I'm beginning to realise that I've spent my life trying to earn approval
How can I maintain a relationship with family who constantly put me down?
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