What do I do if my parents keep trying to set me up with guys?

[Anonymous]

Currently I am not interested in guys. I just have guy phobia right now and I get nervous around guys and I've had bad experiences with guys in the past.

I'm 20 years old but my parents keep trying to introduce me to guys and are always telling me about guys that they know. And especially my dad. He's always introducing me to these military guys and stuff. Why do my parents do this?

It makes me feel very embarrassed and I'm afraid to tell them that I'm uninterested because they're going to think I'm a lesbian (which they already suspect because I don't spend any time with guys and I've never had a boyfriend). :(

[marley86]

You should have a talk with your parents about it. Tell them that you really appreciate their help, but you would like to find guys on your own. My mom use to always try hooking me up with one her friend's son, and it made me feel really nervous and awkward; so I know what your going through. I use to be pretty shy around guys too, so I feel your pain. I would suggest getting to know a guy just enough to exchange numbers with him, and then develop a bit of a text message relationship with him. You won't feel as much pressure when you communicate with him, and you can pick and choose what you say til your comfortable enough to talk face to face.

[Asker]

Thank you. I actually feel very depressed about it. I'm pretty sure that my parents are just going to think I'm a lesbian if I tell them that. Usually when they bring it up I'll just say "Oh..." and a look like I'm interested until they stop talking about or I'll bring up something else. There aren't any guys that I'm willing to get to know. None of the seem to have anything in common with me and on top of that I will inadequate. A text message relationship doesn't sound bad though.

[marley86]

That kind of sucks they will continue to think that, but this is your life; just ignore them. I know it is hard, because they are your parents and your constantly around them, but don't let them make you feel pressured. You need to try putting yourself in social situation that you might meet guys that share some of your same interests. What are some of your interests?

[Asker]

Yeah, I do ignore them, but it just makes me sad when they do that.

Umm, I'm kinda nerdy. I like video games, art, astronomy, and conspiracy theories. Guys usually don't like nerdy girls even if they're nerds themselves. I've notice that my interests (or obsessions lol) scare guys away :(

Plus I'm not very pretty. Slightly below average on my best days. I only hang out with girls because they don't judge me like guys do.

[marley86]

Yeah, I could see how that would make you sad; but they are only doing it because they don't understand where you are coming from. Well, its probably not that it scares them, but they probably just don't understand a lot about some of your interests; so they feel lost. You might want to start out by asking them questions about their interests, and finding your common grounds. What about your appearance makes you feel below average?

[Asker]

I don't like my face, body, hair, clothes, and my personality is lack luster. :(

Okay I'll try that. When guys start talking to me, I get flustered and I just forget how to socialize.

Which is another reason why I avoid guys like the plague.

[marley86]

Well, the first thing I think you need to do is become more confident with you way you look. Try doing something new with yourself, and you might shocked at how much it can make a difference. If you are a little more comfortable with how you look, you are going to have more confidence when you speak to guys. The slightest change can make a huge impact!

[jess7]

I think you should have a talk with ur parents and just tell them that ur not intrested right now... you might be focus on something else like school or other hobbies... I always have crushes and close guy friend but I have not had a boyfriend either so ur not the only one :) my parents know that my focus is in school right now and I think they don't want me 2 have a boyfriend right now anyways lol I am 19... but ya ur parents should stop once you talk 2 them... hope I helped : )