My boyfriend wants to fight my guy friends?

[Anonymous]

My best guy friends don't see me as a girl and because I act so much "like a dude", they have pretty much interrogated me into their fraternity. We eat and drink a ton, we play video games, and talk about subjects that most guys don't talk about when girls are around (like farting, etc...). We also fight (like physical hitting and punching rough housing). I have so many bruises on my legs from getting hit. They are, however, extremely protective of me and we consider each other family.

However, my long distance boyfriend absolutely hates how they fight me and cannot understand why I "let them treat [me] like this". He has even said that he would fight them "for me" because I should be treated better.

I love my boyfriend. He's an amazing guy and I appreciate his concern because I know he wants to protect me. I just don't know how to explain to him that I am one of the guys when I'm around my boys. My friends may play hit me, but it's all in good taste and wouldn't actually do anything to really hurt me on purpose.

Any ideas?

I have no idea if anyone else out there has a girl that's a friend that they treat like one of the guys. Just looking for some insight.

[genyboo]

Well I do and we are so much alike, lol my boyfriend feels the same way about my guy friends, I simple assured him that the would never try to harm me on purpose and that because I trust them he must too, he stiil doesn't like them but he has come to agree that there like my big bros or something so he looks beyond it

[Asker]

Lol he thinks they are douche bags even though I try to explain to him "they are my brothers. They love me. We just like rough housing a lot". Last night it came up again while he was intoxicated and he was like "No. I will kick their asses. No one treats my girl like that!".

Oh boy haha.

[Asker]

They also haven't met each other yet which could probably help remedy this.

[genyboo]

Well that's just it they haven't really met either! O.o

[Asker]

Hopefully everyone will meet over the summer and they'll get along.

If they fight, I hope it's in mud. I think that'll be glorious (and really dumb). And then afterward, be all "bro"-- with some beers.

[freewill10]

You should find something better to do with your time, then drink and get punched by guy friends, They should have more respect for a female, sad.

I think you don't deserve your current boyfriend. He seems to know what's going on. And your not woman enough for him, It probably turns him off.

[Asker]

As a feminist, I have to disagree with you.

I am myself. I don't pretend to be more "womanly" or "manly". I wear dresses, I cook for him because I love the look on his face when I make his favorites, I giggle and love princess movies, and I can turn him on with a look... but damn can I also shot gun a beer and destroy everyone on Halo and Call of Duty. My boyfriend is dating me because I do not pretend to be something I'm not.

Please do not stereotype me or our gender.

[freewill10]

Yeah, sure. Tell me how it goes in a while with your boyfriend. You should destroy everyone at something meaningful, not at the mind rotting games you play. Your waisting your youth on violent games, when you can better yourself, as a fellow feminist.

[Asker]

I bet you're they kind of girl that waits for him to make a move and complains about not having a fair advantage.

Well, hell yea woman are treated differently, but don't talk negatively about something you don't know or understand. At least I strive forward and DOES something. And I found a group of guys that consider me equal (even though they are extremely sexist towards everyone else (not cool)).

I said "screw you" to that in high school. It's 2013. Do what you want and love what you do.

[Asker]

the kind of girl*

women*

Do something about it*

Damn elf keyboards haha.

[freewill10]

I take what I want, and don't complain about it. And I wouldn't get punched by some punks, because they allowed me in their club. And You have no idea about a feminist, until your older. I just think you have low self esteem to be treated like a BRO!

[Asker]

I enjoy fighting. It clears my mind and helps me burn steam which is why I also kick box. I am me. I will always be me. It's women like yourself that allow men to continue on their stereotyping in the degrading of women and how they are weaker. I don't want to be in the kitchen because it's my "duty". I want to do what I want. I want something different for myself than you.

I think we should just end this conversation with that since we obviously disagree on what it means to be a woman.

[Anonymous]

Your boyfriend is naturally worried because you're getting bruises. You should stop those hitting games with your friends to calm your boyfriend down.

[Asker]

I have low iron levels. You poke me, I bruise. It's terrible haha

[bDizzie]

You should date one of your friends, however being a feminist I'm surprised you put up with guys at all!

[Asker]

I don't want to date one of my friends?

And what does being a feminist have to do with "putting up with guys"? I can talk all day about feminist theory and the stereotypes of women in the media and society. But what difference does it make when I am myself? It's the take it or leave it situation. Not everyone is going to like me, which is something I'm perfectly okay with.

[freewill10]

Good point!

[bDizzie]

There's a lot of stereotypes of men in the media too. On most TV shows, movies and commercials, men are made out to be buffoons while the women are smarter.

I don't know about the stereotypes in society. There's a double standard about guys sleeping around and girls sleeping around, but I don't buy into that double standard. I say do whatever makes you happy!

[Anonymous]

This Is what iimagine is going on link

[Asker]

Lol not at all. But I could image him thinking that even though it's more like this" link