Friend zone: temporary or permanent?

[Anonymous]

If a girl puts you in the friend zone after you tell her you like her, and you tell her you still like her but will be friends, what are the realistic chances you could grow on her? Considering she really likes you as a person and all, and you continue to grow closer.And you tell her there is no pressure to change her mind?

[bobair]

Escaping the Friend-Zone takes two major hurdles, both of which most guys simply won't jump:

1) Build Attraction Through Tension: Realize that attraction isn't about what she THINKS about you, or how COMFORTABLE she is... but instead it's about how she FEELS and the appropriate amount of TENSION you can build with her.

Guys in the friend-zone don't flirt or tease or argue or fight. They worry about conflict and friction and instead focus only on rapport and comfort.

If a woman feels comfortable with you, that's great. But comfort isn't attraction.

This is why it's a HUGE waste of time TELLING her how YOU feel, because she doesn't CARE how YOU feel.

It only matters how SHE feels.

Login and talking doesn't build attraction. Action does.

So help her feel attraction by being attractive.

So be more playful, more flirty, and tease her more. Not as a d***, but more as an attractive guy.

2) The biggest reason guys end up in the Friend Zone is a lack of action. To GET THE GIRL you have to LEAD. You have to ESCALATE.

You basically have to take action. And I can guarantee you're not taking action.

The friend sits back and lets her decide. He asks her for her advice. He asks her where she wants to go and then asks if he can come along.

Being a friend is great, but only after you're already sleeping together.

To get her out of the friend-zone you're gonna have to be the leader. Take her by the hand and lead her into an adventure.

Maybe you're taking her to a surprise dinner at a place you've never been, and a place she's never been, and she doesn't know where you're taking her. And you pick her up, drive her there, touch her as much is appropriate, and then drop her off.

Text something like, "Drop your plans, I have a surprise for us tonight! You'll need those cute jeans I love, a simple t-shirt, comfy shoes, and 2 hours of time... and make sure you're hungry! I'll pick you up at 6."

Girls don't want to make all the decisions. It's boring. And boring is not a good feeling.

Instead you need to be okay with grabbing her, giving her a huge hug hello and good bye, give her a sideways smile like you have a secret (you like her) and take her out.

Or better yet, make home made pizza at home, with some scary movies.

Your job is to ESCALATE through ACTION.

Inaction leads to friend-zone. Action leads to marriage.

Obviously you're worried she's gonna reject you or get upset, or what ever.

That's okay.

No woman get's upset when a guy likes them. That's silly.

Even if you try kissing her, and you should, she won't be mad. She'll either go with it (they usually do) or she'll politely decline.

It doesn't matter what she does.

The only thing that matters is that you DO SOMETHING.

ANYTHING!

Hope this helps!

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

[SuperPickle]

Unless you're on a TV show or in a movie, you have almost zero chance of escaping the friend zone. By the way, you were always there. She didn't put you there after you told her how you feel. If she doesn't see a possibility now, she most likely never will.

[Anonymous]

It is absolutely possible to "escape" the "friend zone." (I used " because I don't like those terms, but anyway) I'm sure you've heard of girls falling for their guy friends... when you get to know a person, if you like what you learn than you find them more attractive basically because they have an attractive personality. Of course, this will usually require some time and you two will have to get close.

This also depends on why she didn't want to date you in the first place. If she was crushing on another guy and only had eyes for him, then after she moves on she could fall for you next. same if she was dating someone when you two met. and then of course sometimes a girl meets a guy and just plain isn't attracted to him, or she likes him as a person but knows they would not be compatible as a couple.

You shouldn't stay friends with her just because you are hoping she will develop feelings, because that might not happen and if it does it will take time. also if you're going to be friends you should actually act like a friend. but yeah, it's still possible for her to fall for you.

[xzinax2]

i doubt she'd just change her mind,but people change-you might change and become someone she likes,she might change and you might become her type.or maybe you just someday demonstrate a virtue that she hasn't seen in you before and she starts to like you.

[snowangle]

Here's the thing. If she rejected you, that means there's some reason she doesn't want to date you. She found a deal breaker somewhere in there. That means in order for her to change her mind, you would have to change.

[drjohno]

If she likes you as a person it means you're done, it's over. You don't want her to like you as a person, you want her to like you as a Man. Telling her you two will be friends when she already knows that you like her as a woman is DISHONEST. This is what all nice guys do, this is exactly why they finish last, this is why all women despise them. This is why a Man who respects himself doesn't accept friendship after rejection.

[bobair]

I was with you until your last sentence. A man can accept when a woman doesn't want him while still enjoying her feminine company. Unless all he wanted was sex, in which case it makes sense to move on.

[drjohno]

Friendship after rejection is stupid. Sex, as we all know, is one of the most important things we value in a relationship. This is not the case for women. If someone is getting more out of a deal with me then there's is no relationship. Hey, this is a woman this guy is SEXUALLY interested in. We can't just shut down our attraction, if anything this is not up to us. E.g. a hottie morphing into a fattie. There are two kinds of plates, the ones spinning, and the ones broken on the floor.

[ryanontario]

its usually permanent for whatever reason unless you like win the lottery or something drastic , girls just sort of decide who there into on a romantic level and who there just friends with

[clashcity22]

You need to be her ideal boyfriend. Only then will you grow on her.

[Anonymous]

if she doesn't like you she doesn't like you nothing you can change about that.

[Anonymous]

Permanent in my experience. Never escaped from it once.

[Girlsareevil]

Friend zone is stupid let's be friends so you can laugh at me while and make me look like a fool by the way I'm a guy