The friend zone?

[Anonymous]

How can you have a bestfriend from the opposite gender but you don’t want to be in relationship with them?
Ideal partner should be your best friend
Feelings, passion , love , lust good sex never last forever

It’s the friendship that makes people stick together

[Anonymous]

I had a best friend of opposite gender most of my life, and we both had serious partners of opposite gender that overlapped with that time too.

The reason it was like that was bc we knew each other from childhood, so obviously neither one of us is going to be "out-friended" by a romantic partner we have to start from square one with as an adult. Of course I'm friends with my husband too, but it's impossible for us 2 to make up that huge difference in time of the friendship unless me & my best friend stop being friends for some reason. That's just a fact. Doesn't mean I don't love him.

And the reason me and my best friend don't love each other in that way is kinda the same reason: we knew each other from childhood & have been best friends forever. We feel like siblings, so that kind of attraction wouldn't feel like love would feel like incest—gross. Lol. But even bffs who could be attracted to each other, they may just not work together as partners, & that's fine. Doesn't mean they have to stop being friends.

[Asker]

That is the thing
I want my future wife to be my best friend
I don’t want her to be more friends with some other guy

Your partner should be your number 1
By far

[Asker]

It is not incest and it is not gross
We should be closest with our partners

I think because people breakup all the time they don’t want to risk a close friendship because it is a good friendship
But a relationship might ruin everything

[Opinion Owner]

Why does being the "best" friend matter so much? Why isn't "good" or even "very good" good enough?

Do you think we have secrets with our best friends we don't tell our spouses, or that we spend more time with them, or value or trust them more or are more loyal to them? Cuz I can tell you from experience that is not true. Especially in my case I almost did "dump" my best friend bc she was against my husband on a very important personal issue. And I trusted her and I valued her opinion & I would have taken a bullet for her, but I trusted my husband more, valued his opinion more, & would bite the bullet of losing my best friend if she couldn't change her tune or bite her fucking tongue and leave him alone.

In most cases it is NOT a competition & shouldn't be, but even if the rare cases where it is, having a better friendship with someone does NOT mean you have to take their side. Especially when you are friends with both people. So why do you need to MAKE it a competition before you even start any relationship with a woman? That's a very bad way to start any friendship...

[Opinion Owner]

I said for me & my best friend it would feel like incest & gross. I know that's not the same for everyone.

[Anonymous]

You obviously don't understand how friendships work. Gender is totally irrelevant.

[Asker]

Respectfully speaking ;
I can say the same about you.
This is your personal opinion
If you have a point , present it so we can discuss. Please don’t assume you know everything
I say this with full respect

[RespectfulGuy]

I have asked questions like yours many times, to myself.

And a short quick answer: In our idealism, true.

But somehow, men and women are very different. So different that many times, relationships violates logic, and emotions defies common sense.

Typical example is marriage. Courtship (from eras where mankind save their virginity until marriage) is beautiful. But after marriage, the couple may end up with police cases, court fights, and in need of mental health treatments.

Why? Aren't they "compatible" and "religious" and buddies?

Back to question.

It's easy to love someone based on our own way, but very difficult to base it on the recipients desire.

And regrettably, no two minds are same, much lesser between the genders.

Hence it's easy to say "we're best friends", but difficult to live by it.

And the blessed few who can find the correct partner, a lifetime of happiness.

[Asker]

Following desire is the mistake we make
Feelings are not a reliable way to choose a partner
Because feelings change , people change
Following desire is the reason for the current infidelity epidemics are currently having , because people are chasing lust and surrender to their desires

[genericname85]

well if she's fucking ugly for example... kind of a mean example but yeah. that should be obvious. you won't be attracted to an ugly fat girl right. but you sure can be friends right?

[Asker]

Ok I understand your example
Someone will be more attracte
But she might get attracted to you

In most cases you will be friends with similar level of attractiveness

[genericname85]

how is "attractiveness" relevant for friends? i don't get it.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the waters of love and friendship, aren't we? Ah, the classic conundrum of the friend zone. Picture this: having a best friend from the opposite gender is like having the ultimate confidant without the complexities of romantic expectations. Imagine someone who gets your offbeat humor, supports your midnight ice cream cravings, and is there through every up and down, without the pressure to be anything more. The magic lies in the mutual respect and understanding that the foundation of your relationship is built on friendship, not romantic love. True, an ideal partner often starts out as a great friend, bringing in an element of depth and companionship. Yet, not every friendship is meant to sail into romantic sunsets. Some are destined to be the anchor, providing a safe harbor of support and understanding. It's the appreciation of this unique bond that keeps the relationship afloat, pure and unencumbered by romantic expectations. So yes, feelings, passion, love, and lust may have their moments, but it's the laughter shared in the silliest moments and the comfort found in the silent ones that truly make a relationship everlasting.

[Maybeyoutoo]

Men and women can't be buddies, they are called fuckbuddy and men are called dickbuddy and women are called pussybuddy.

[Asker]

That is what society has turned to
You don’t want to risk a good friendship for a relationship that most likely will end
You don’t want to get attached to someone who might leave
You don’t want to care to much about your partner because they might cheat

We lowered our expectations to the point where it became just about sex
Expecting too much form your partner is “pressure” so we just expect sex

[Anonymous]

Lol do u find them attractive

[Asker]

That is my point
Choosing in attraction is not reliable
You will never be attracted to the same person all your life
Feelings , love Lust all go away in a few years
Friendship is what makes people married for 50+ years
Not sex , beauty or attraction