General question: Is the friendzone 'permanent'?

Ok, so everyone knows that the dreaded friendzone (which shouldn't be confused with friendship) is the worst possible insult a person can experience form someone he/she likes more as a friend, although no one openly admits that its an insult.

Anyway, if you friendzone someone, do you intend it to be 'permanent', or are you willing to let this person out of the friendzone if he/she changed in some way over time (not necessarily to impress you) and became more of your 'type' (because apparently 'you're not my type' is the most common excuse given by people when they friendzone someone)?

So in short.. if you friendzone someone, would you be open minded enough to give them a chance if they changed over time, or do you shut them off romantically forever once you put them in the friendzone? And if you're open to letting people out of the frierndzone, does it require a lot more effort from them to get out of it as opposed to trying from scratch (that is, if they were not frienezoned)?

Both guys and girls are most welcome to vote/answer, so shoot!

  • Yes, its permanent
    Vote A
  • No, I'd let them out of the friendzone if they changed
    Vote B
  • I can un-friendone them but it would require a lot more effort from them then if they were never in the friendzone
    Vote C
  • I'm confused, show me the resultsb already!
    Vote D
Select a gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not like I want to "friendzone" a guy, it just happens when I'm not attracted to him. If I ever were to be attracted to him, because he changed or I changed, then he's not in it anymore. It's not consciously up to me though, I don't hold some kind of key that I can use to open or close a door at will, it's about vague things like feelings and chemistry that's either there or not. It can't be forced.

    • Good answer. I'm not talking about forcing anything. What I meant was, suppose you friendzone someone, does your mind automatically get 'fixed' that he is a friend forever, or if your view of him changes if he somehow becomes attractive to you at some point.

    • No, it's not set in stone.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Well there's two kinds of "friend zones"...

    The first is when a woman just isn't interested in you romantically, but does like you as a friend.
    The second is when a woman is somewhat interested in you romantically, but chooses not to go out with you because "she doesn't want to ruin the friendship."

    If you're talking about the first situation, then you're looking at it wrong. The question should be "will she ever change her mind about me," and the answer to that is "maybe." But maybe not. I don't think it's really a conscious decision, so there's not really room to ask "will you let someone out of the friend zone" as if they've specifically decided to keep them there.

    If the second situation, person A wants to date person B but person B is afraid of ruining the friendship, my advice to person A would be to make his intentions known, ask once to give it a try, and then if person B still says no, just leave the ball in person B's court. It's understandable to be frustrated, but person A can't force person B to date him/her if person B is uncomfortable with it. Person A should try to move on and if Person B catches him/her before they are with someone else, then things can begin.

    • Very insightful answer! Much appreciated!

      But then, there is a also a 'third' kind of friendezone which women use these days. Its called "friend zone for the good guys", which they use exclusively for 'nice' guys', because they always assume that 'nice guys are boring' and they only want to date complete assholes. Such guys can only come out of the friendzone if they turn into assholes themselves.

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • When my boyfriend told me he liked me, I friend zoned him. In fact, I did it a couple times to him. As we started to talk more often, I began to fall head over heals for him. Now we've been going great for 6 months. So the friend zone isn't really permanent, but it depends on the girl/guy who is friend zoning the other person. :)

  • I AM in the friendzone. No wait more of little sister zone... (saddd)

  • the friend zone doesn't exist. Get over it

    • It does exist, and is actually a 'trendy' concept now. People put those of the opposite gender in the friendzone often without a valid reason, and women do this to men much more than the other way round.

      If the friendzone doesn't exist, what do you call this situation where someone confesses his/her feelings and the other person says "I only consider you as a friend because you're not my type, and I'm not attracted to you in that way. But i still value our friendship, so lest be friends"?

What Guys Said 1

  • People don't usually choose to 'friend zone' a person (I have been done so a couple of times lol, no more so than my best friend). If the person does not feel any sexual attraction then the other person will always end up in the friend zone. The only time this will change is if the circumstances of the persons emotions changes. So rarely this is a voluntary choice by the person, but each relationship is individual and unique so we cannot generalise fully.

    • Yes, you are right. Each individual is different. But now it has become 'trendy' for people to put those who like them in the 'friendzone', and derive some kind of sadistic pleasure by watching these people endure emotional pain each day. Not everyone does this, but there is certain class of people (both men and women) who put people in the friendzone just to make them suffer emotionally.