Is the FRIEND ZONE escapable?

[Wisenguber]

You’ve fallen in love with the girl or guy of your dreams. You can’t get them out of your head. Your mind is consumed with thoughts of them. When you look into the future, they’re there with you. Heck, you might even be sitting across from them right now. But here’s the catch: They see you as nothing more than a friend. You’ve unfortunately and unwillingly been categorized and thrust into the dreaded friend zone.
- Years ago I was called friend by a girl I was absolutely in love with, and getting her to see me romantically, was like getting a Democrat and a Republican to agree... meaning it didn't happen. I was told by someone the other day to not be afraid of the friend zone, that it is now what women prefer, I this true? Because I don't think men do?

The FRIEND ZONE is not escapable

The FRIEND ZONE is escapable

It depends and I like to share why..

[Wolfie2014]

You can get out of the friend-zone, you just have to have the balls to do it. I recently escaped the friendzone of a girl i'd been dating, by merely pulling her to one side and saying "I like you, and i have a great time everytime i see you, but i'm just not interested in being 'just friends'. If you change your mind, give me a call, because i'd love to get together and hang out." After which i wished her good night, and walked away.

Of course the situation is different to you being friends with someone for 10 years, because then you're throwing away a 10 year friendship because the other party isn't interested in you the same way. But that is a choice you must make. The girl i mentioned above, i'd only known for 3 months, so i wasn't throwing away a deep friendship. I just wasn't willing to settle for less and being strung along like a dog hoping things might change.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over expecting different results each time.

[Wolfie2014]

Thanks for MHO :) I wish you the best of luck for the new year...

[Wisenguber]

Thanxs buddy, you too

[MrExplorer]

My opinion is that if you are not interested in being "just friends" then it needs to come out as early as possible. You don't want to wait until you have been friends for a long time, because then it is probably too late to change direction. If you are "madly in love" with some girl, she should know this up front.

[strength98]

Guys can friendzone girls, therefore I know it fucking sucks. I have also had a guy get out of the friendzone with me and dated me, then it was a fucking weird relationship and we agreed to go back to normal. I will say make yourself as desirable as possible. Be overly caring to where they can tell a difference from your regular self. Maybe they will ask what is different. They need to know you care, but not like a brother. Honestly, lookin at the other comments, if my guy friend walked up and flat out told me he has feelings, I would be confused and slightly uncomfortable. Become her dream guy. You should know what she likes because you are her friend. Start flirting, not telling her. Maybe she has seen you go after girls and she will notice you are doing the same stuff with her. Another possible approach is making her jealous. Not guaranteed to work, but might work with some girls.

[Wisenguber]

Awesome answer, really love were you went with this. However, can a man, get out of the friend zone if he is not attractive to you?

[pr3ttybr0wn]

If you're in the friend zone move on. There are billion women out there, stop wasting your time being focused on one that doesn't like you. I have never taken a guy out the friend zone. I put him there because he wasn't my type either physically or mentally.

[Wisenguber]

Damn warden lock him in the zone and threw away the keys... woman, my eyes are firmly fixed on you now... lol

[Anonymous]

Sometimes you get freindzoned but if you handle it like a baus you can escape. The key is not to be a lap dog, be your own person. Sometimes they develop feelings for you over time after they see you're acting independently but being a good friend, you're not an asshole, you've got a good sense of humor and you're not bad looking etc etc. I've actually recognized the occasion when the game changes, they stare at you a little longer after a particular joke or moment, you know the penny is dropping lol

[Anonymous]

i'd have thought it depends on how you interact when you are only friends as if there is some mutual attraction you never know how things might change in future.

If the attraction is one sided, its unlikely things would ever change even if both people were free so just accept you're friends or move on.

[NedfromtheNed]

The only way to do it is tell her like a man. Knowing you could lose her, you have to have the courage to walk away. To say its this or nothing.

[Wisenguber]

Cool, thanxs for your comment.. have you ever been placed in the Zone?

[NedfromtheNed]

Dude the zone is all i get.

[Anonymous]

it's escapable but not immediately people can escape it but only like years after when the person has gone up in the world and is a more rounded well off person then there's a chance if you meet again of lighting a spark in my opinion.

[Wisenguber]

But, all that work and years of wanting, when an equally beautiful woman, just as great as her can emerge and replace her, is it worth it my friend?

[Opinion Owner]

no i never said you couldn't date others until you meet her again years later.

[Wisenguber]

Ahh okay 👌

[Reflexy]

Im pretty sure now I think about it I havnt been friendzoned my self but I think I have friendzoned a girl :/

[Error_204]

The Friendzone is inescapable.

[Wisenguber]

No way to escape it huh?

[Error_204]

No. Once you make up the myth that you are doomed then you shall stay doomed.

[Anno_Domini]

It's like a black hole, man...

[thewanderingme]

I prefer being friends first.

[Wolfie2014]

that's not actually fair on the other party... If he has romantic interest in you, you gotta drop him if you don't feel the same way, otherwise the poor guy will never move on (classic nice-guy syndrome). I, as a man, will NEVER settle for anything less than what i want. If i'm romantically interested in you, and you're only interested in something platonic, I'm going to walk away. Mostly due to the fact that i have enough self respect to stand up for what i want, and refuse to be strung along to pick up the pieces left behind by some other dude. Girls who get friend-zoned, should do the same. It's just not fair, unless the friend-zone is genuinely mutual.

Of course, it's different if it's a 10 year friendship before feelings developed, but even then, i'd at least distance myself for awhile to allow things to revert to normal.

[thewanderingme]

@Wolfie2014 I can't be bothered to read your entire whiny rant. fairness has nothing to do with it. I like to really get to know a guy first, rather than start something and realize we don't fit and have to potentially hurt him.

[Wisenguber]

So you say, date , no rushing? However if your not attracted to him, you wouldn't give him anytime?

[Wolfie2014]

Thanks for noticing :P but I'd never allow it. I'd just be like "give me a call if you change your mind", and walk away and never look back. I'll find what i'm looking for elsewhere... Your loss, not mine ;)

[thewanderingme]

@asker I said I befriend him first. dating comes after I'm comfortable and trust him.

what do you mean about giving him any time?

[thewanderingme]

@Wolfie2014 to that I would thank you, for showing me you are an asshole and waste of my time early on. (:

[Wolfie2014]

Why, thank you for the compliment... have a great day!!! :P

[Wisenguber]

Wow guys, play nice, no fighting or you two will go to time out!!!

[Account]

Yes. It is.

[Wisenguber]

How... is it now accepted that if a man becomes your buddy he can grow on you. Maybe what I should ask is, why put a guy in the friend zone in the first place?

[Account]

Because you're friends. Shocker, but people can form relationships with the opposite gender with no romantic intentions.
If he is interested in me in a romantic way and he tells me, then I will straight up tell him that I am not interested (if I am not).
I have no desire to keep people around as emotional tampons. It's not healthy.
"How... is it now accepted that if a man becomes your buddy he can grow on you. "
Feelings can change over time. For both parts. It's normal and natural.

[Wisenguber]

Okay, awesome, however if they do change, is there a level of attraction you discovered over time, or it was there in the beginning, but you weren't sure?

[David83]

I am well known in the friend-zone