She thinks I am trying to steal her boyfriend. Advice?

[Anonymous]

This feud has been going on since March 2009 when my guy friend began to date this girl named Sam. At first things seemed to be alright between Sam and I till one day she got it in her head that I wanted her boyfriend, the reason was because I hugged him for too long in front of her. Since that day its been non stop fighting between her and I, however luck was on my side the day she moved to another state. For two years I had peace with my guy friend, till the day she came back, and he took her back. Now its ten times worst than it was before, she cyber bullies me, she prank phone calls me saying nasty things, and she trash talks about me to her friends everyday saying she don't understand why her boyfriend is still friends with a trashy hoe like me! Her boyfriend, and his brother both told her to stop it, that I am not like that, that I am the most innocent person they know, AND SHE still won't stop. If my friend threatens to dump her, she then pulls the card "my father cheated on my mother...can you blame me for not trusting you fully?" After she says that she starts to cry..things have gotten so bad that I have blocked both of my guy friends, and only talk to them by text...even then when they lie to her saying we are not friends anymore, she still trashes on me...HELP!

[jenni_ms]

This isn't something you can stop. You just have to wait the relationship out because it obviously won't last if he has any sense. She is paranoid and controlling and childish to be doing all these things. I was in a similar situation only she wasn't as bold as this girl seems to be. I talked to her about it, and it never helped anything. Finally, I got tired of it and broke off my friendship with my guy friend and told him the reason and that I'd be there when he could finally open his eyes and see that she was a real issue in his life. After they broke up a few months later, she apparently wanted to "fight" me because I was the first person he contacted afterward and we picked up like nothing ever happened, which only made her believe that something was going on ALL along. You can't combat crazy, and she is crazy lol

My suggestion is to block her and her friends from social networks, make your name on Facebook unsearchable so she can't create fake pages to harass you. Stop responding to any attempts on her part to ruffle your feathers, because with people like her, a response is all they are after. It kills them inside to be ignored.

If you'd really like to make her accountable for her actions without getting violent (I'd want to kick her ass but that's not the way to go lol), do it the legal way. Though it may sound a bit extreme, she won't stop if everyone keeps letting her act like a child. This is text book harassment. If you want to get her arrested, or ruin her record, don't do any of the above. Let it all continue, feed into it, play up the victim role, but begin to record all of this behavior. Phone calls, text messages, Facebook posts/messages/comments, write down word for word what she says to you face to face along with the date and time and any witnesses to her words, everything big or small. When you gather up enough, take it to the police station and file a report. She may even have to pay a fine. When you make it so she has to face and consequences, she'll straighten up a bit more.

If you want to go another route, you could always speed up the breakup process for them. I'll admit, it's a bit immature but if it gets to a point where you can't take it anymore and you feel like stooping to that level (it's not THAT low lol), start introducing him to nice girls who are his type. Take him places where he'll meet new girls, suggest outings for him and his friends where girls he would like hang out. He is most likely putting up with her behavior because he doesn't have anyone else and doesn't know how a healthy relationship is supposed to feel. Help him out.

I hope at least one of these options offers a solution for you and I wish you the best of luck!

[Anonymous]

You asked about this question a week ago as if you were the girlfriend,so what is it? And it sounds to me if you are just a friend of this girls boyfriend you are acting more concerned about it then you should.which in my opinion either your jealous or you want him and your jealous.i don't think she's doing everything your saying,you just want peoples pity over you not getting your way.seriously if your guy friend wanted to really savage your friendship he would have dumped her by now but he's not going to,so get over it.and find a new guy friend.seriously its his life and your just a friend.

[Opinion Owner]

And if you try to break them up and succeed then your not a good friend anyway because its over your own selfish desire for it.You need to grow up pronto.You are willing to have your friends heart broken just because your jealous,your pathetic.

[Asker]

First off sweetie, I never asked this question a week ago. Second I have my own boyfriend who is good friend's with my guy friend. My guy friend INTRODUCED me to the guy I am with. Thirdly how do you think I feel whenever my guy friend has an outing or a party that I can't go because his jealous Girlfriend will start shit with me? She don't care if I have a boyfriend because she still thinks I want her's, when I don't.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah your getting anger for obvious reasons because this is same story was posted OK maybe a little over a week ago. But from the girlfriends view. So if you have a boyfriend why do you give a fuck about your boyfriends "friend" so much? Even if he introduced you guys you should put more attention towards your on boyfriend. And really you have a boyfriend and she is harassing you like that? I don't believe it but hey doesn't matter right? Because if you are telling the truth your GUY FRIEND is still with

[Opinion Owner]

that girl and doesn't care how YOU feel. If she really is doing all this I'm sure in time it will end up being problems for them anyway on their own issues. Really your coming off as the one who is jealous because your so worried about it. Just worry about your own life and if your guy friend decides your more important he will by his choice not yours. Your just gonna have to deal with rejection sometimes in your life and your not always gonna be the center of attention. So just look past it.

[jenni_ms]

Actually, it's hard to believe, but there are some paranoid females who WILL do all of the things she's talked about. I've had a similar situation and my boyfriend was actually friends with her and my guy friend and she still would act this way. What she's explaining is harassment, which happens in real life all the time.. I do agree that she can't do anything besides lose the friendship until the two of them inevitably break up.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah OK well I'm pretty sure their not going to break up anytime soon,so if she wants to sit around waiting for that it must be for a reason.I still don't think she's really doing this bullshit this girl claims.doesn't matter anyway right? all the time girls most of the time just want people to feel sorry for them.And in this case I don't because if it was this bad something would have been done it about it by now.if she wants to do something about call the cops and have them speak with her.TC.

[Datboi65]

Guy's point of view here. Stay away from drama. Men don't like drama for a reason. I don't really know what this dude sees in her, but if he's willing to stay with her against your warning, then just cut him out too and move on with your life. Life would be so much easier if you just didn't care as much about those who don't care about you.

[kangaru]

Yeah I agreed that you can't stop her . The words of others is beyond our control, your guy friend has high tolerance level I guess. If you have the courage tell her off right in the face and be firm with it. Stare hard into her eyes when you do so. She probably Continue trash you because you kept quiet. Some people need to be scolded if not they won't stop