How do I help my husband make friends?

[Anonymous]

My husband of 4 years, is the best man I've ever met. I've gone out with a couple of guys in the past but they weren't as amazing as my husband. He's the sweetest guy in the world. He makes me feel so great. I love him so much. So the problem is, he has no friends. Like yeah he has "friends" that all they do is play basketball together but nothing so intimate like spend time together and do guy stuff like play video games and stuff. Whenever I would tell him I'm going out with a friend, I can feel him getting kinda sad over the phone or he would put a lot of "..." in his text messages. I can say I have a lot of friends because I'm social, he's social too but he tries too hard to make people like him. I want him to have guy friends. I just want him to have a buddy to go to whenever he's in need of some guy time or something.
Another problem is, I feel like he steals my friends. Like on Facebook, if one of my friends post on my wall and we end up talking on there, he would sometimes join in and after a while of him talking to my friend, he would add them and try to be their friend. I don't have a problem but at the same time I do...
I just don't know what to do. Advice?
Update 1: He had a bad past. His parents protected him so much to the point that he couldnt/ can't even go outside. There are a lot of people our age (16) in his neighborhood but he can't even go outside to make friends. He never had friends. I just want to help him and see him happy:-)

[trgffggffgfg]

Men just aren't that social. It sounds pretty much like he wants to only be social with you and has not really that much interest in everything that doesn't involve you. That's why he even follows you on Facebook, which involves your friends too of course.

Don't always try to explain someone's behavior with how they were influenced by others. You cannot know why a person really makes the decisions they do. That they just are that way naturally is just as likely of an explanation even if you can't see that from the outside because it lacks any intelligible rationale to support it from your viewpoint as an explanation.

Anyway it sounds super normal and rather that you seem to want to help or 'cure' him in a way that he really doesn't need. Except if it is annoying you that he seeks so much contact with you socially (sounds as if that could be your real motivation) then you need to tell him he is just getting to close and you need more distance, he should just figure to do something else sometimes.

[thetundrawolf]

Why don't YOU be his friend? As a guy, I would want my mate to be into things I am into. To want to spend time around me. And not because she has to... But because she wants to. Do you want to? Do you want to be his everything? I would want it. I thought that's what a marriage was supposed to be.

I have good friends. Friends who wouldn't bat an eye if I had a body to bury. But at the end of the day, I come home to my mate... Not them. You should be his everything, in my opinion. Can you be his friend?

[enigmatta]

A partner shouldn't be someone's "everything". Plenty of couples break up because they lost their individuality and own wants. People want their space too.

[thetundrawolf]

I agree to a point. But if my mate is not second in my life, only to God, then what's the point? If I have a friend I "like" more than her, how wrong is that? She's my mate, my woman. I love her. And want to be around her. It has nothing to do with surrendering what I want. When she loves me, and is close to me, she will want to do what I want- and want to do it willingly, because she is eager to please the man who loves her.

[Anonymous]

Why are you texting your husband when you go out? He needs to make friends on his own, if he wanted to he would!

[yawst]

Happy for him may look different from most people. Maybe it's too hard for him to do that thing (odd...). Ask his friends to reach out to him more. That's just my idea.

[Asker]

Good idea thanks sweeite"-)

[yawst]

Sweet glad I could help.

[RealityCheckTime]

what. Age 16 married 4 years?

[trgffggffgfg]

I think she meant to write 26.

[Asker]

I type fast lol sorry..

[RealityCheckTime]

Well, I'd say that he's your husband and he comes first. I'd maybe see if you get can some friends of friends (so a bit removed from you) to be his friends.

[Asker]

Thank you and we've already been things out this week:-) I think things are going to be okay now

[RealityCheckTime]

That's good to hear :)

[Anonymous]

" There are a lot of people our age (16) "

So you're 16... and you've been married 4 years?

BULLSHIT.

[Lucrezia]

I think that's the number of people

[Asker]

I meant to type 26...

[enigmatta]

What's your age? 16?

[Asker]

Ummm...no

[enigmatta]

So the (16) was the amount of people in your neighborhood fo your age?

[Asker]

I typed that by accident

[Asker]

yes lol..sorry