Polls: Family & Friends

Would you rather know the truth? Or be told a lie?
One of my closest friends was ugly and our circle group would lie to him and say that he was a solid 8/10 when in reality, he was a solid 4/10. He wasn’t even decent looking but we would hype him up and later on, he would start chasing 8/10 girls because he thought he was truthfully an 8/10. He found himself rejected repeatedly because he wasn’t good looking but we gave him the confidence to flirt with these girls.

So put yourself in their shoes, would you rather someone be honest and tell you what they really think of your appearance or lie to you? What is the moral thing to do?

There are so many jokes about in-laws, but having conflict with either set of parents can lead to conflict within your relationship. How much time you spend with one family versus the other family may be seen as evidence of favoritism and I know some couples that alternate major holidays (Thanksgiving with his parents and then Christmas with her parents this year, Thanksgiving with her parents and Christmas with his parents the next year.)

Is this something that you and your partner try to address to avoid conflicts? How do you decide where to spend your holidays?

I've always been an introvert but for most of my life, I was passive and would frequently say yes to things I didn't want to do out of fear of insulting people by saying no. I don't show much emotion because there's simply no emotion to show to others now as I don't attach myself emotionally to hardly anyone else.
This includes family members with the exceptions being the two kids of my cousin and her husband who I do connect with on some levels.

The most notable exception is my long distance girlfriend who's been there for me every step of the way for the past 2 years and I've been there for her as much as I can. Other than that, I aggressively avoid forming connections with anyone but when brought a topic I am passionate about, like firearms, I'm more than happy to make recommendations and show research.

A relatively recent change in my medication for focus and depression that started about 8 months ago has led to a significant shift in my behavior in that I became very assertive and sometimes even aggressive towards others who annoyed me. It's not hard to annoy me though if you're a coworker as all you'd have to do to irritate me is walk into my office and say my name as I like when it's quiet in there.

I do show displeasure towards others when the unwanted contact occurs with my body language bladed away from them and I often don't make eye contact as I just want them out so I can return to things being quiet. I now almost always say no to family gatherings, going out to eat, weekend activities and so on. I simply don't enjoy the company of others and would rather be alone doing activities i enjoy.

However with my girlfriend, I'm the opposite, I'm as warm as can possibly be and I'm always telling her how much I love her and how just knowing that she's on the other side of the screen writing to me brings me warmth and comfort. I'd do anything with her, if she invited me to literally just go kick rocks, I'd say yes and probably have a great time doing it

got up early to take pictures of the sunset?

To explain further, friend A is looking for a new place to live. Friend B is looking for a new flatmate to rent out her spare room to. I originally know friend b as I went on a few dates with her but decided we were better off as friends and I’ve seen her a couple of times since then as friends. It it a good or bad idea connecting friend A and B as potential new flatmates?

My parents and I moved to Texas from Connecticut in 2018 and we're now able to see family much more regularly. I've grown tired of it though as there's no chemistry between me and them most of the time. My cousin and her husband and kids, I have good chemistry with and we can talk for hours. But my immediate family, all they want to do is sit and listen to horrible music from the 70s and get hammered drunk.

It's also a 90 minute drive to get to where they live and when I arrive, it's like I'm a ghost, they just want me there for the sake of being there. Then after an hour or so, I leave to go back before they get drunk so I won't have to deal with that. There's a ranch as well that we go to but it's 4 hours away and they do the same thing there. Sometimes they let me and my cousin's husband shoot guns on the range and my uncle even took me hunting 4 times in the past 4 years I've been here.

It's very pretty there but then coworkers soon show up and start getting drunk, then it all goes downhill from there. I work 55 hours per week in a job at my uncle's construction company but i don't make much and rent is literally 4× what it was in 2019 and continuing to increase well beyond what my job will allow me to afford. I'm taking steps to start a career in LE and I'll be able to slowly but surely transition into my own home by then.

The juice isn't worth the squeeze, if you can even call it that since I don't find enjoyment in spending time with them sitting down. I often go to the bathroom but after doing so, I go to my car and leave and nobody really notices. I didn't go to the ranch for Christmas or Easter. The only person I really want in my life right now is my girlfriend, I've even gone as far as muting all messages besides her. A medication change in late 2021 has made me much more assertive and ready to stand my ground and not let them manipulate me into doing something I don't want to do.

Do you like family gatherings?

Me and my long distance girlfriend have been together for 2 years and we talk every single day with a bit of communication here and there throughout the day. Some things that have prevented us from closing the distance is the fact that I didn't get vacation days at my current job of which I work 55 hours per week for the past 3 years until finally I got 2 weeks to use this year.

Her parents are divorced and she lives with her mom and 3 little brothers. Her mom is too crazy as well as being physically and mentally handicapped, she's been afraid that if she tells her mom, she'll kick her out. My girlfriend helps her work but gets very little and she drives her 3 little brothers to and from school as well as her mom to and from work every day.

Then she cooks, cleans the dishes, puts them away, goes grocery shopping, does the laundry and folds it, vacuums, takes her brothers to and from their sports games at night every day, takes them to and from church and her dad's house, and she also goes to college full time.

In between each of those things, we talk. She also pays her student loans by herself since her mom won't pay and her dad won't either but I help her as best I can with the money I have to keep her afloat. I'm pursuing a career soon but I want to see her first with my vacation days as it'll likely be at least a year before I get vacation time in my career but she's very scared of being caught although one of her good cousins knows and is supportive of us.

I love her with all of my heart and I understand why she doesn't want her mom to know but I'm tired of her family members holding her and us back. I live at home, too but that's due to the recent rent spike in which rent literally tripled and now I can't afford my own place until i start my career. My family members have drained me and I disconnected with them. She and I intend to have her move in with me in 2 years but her family needs to stop leaning on her, what should I do?

So my niece has made a habit of sneaking out she is 16 at the age where she sneaks out goes to her friends front yard and records herself fighting other high school girls. Am I wrong for not telling her mother (my sister), or am I just amazed no one noticing the scratches or bruises on her legs and arms

As in you are friends, relatives, coworkers with any? and no Online does not count. i mean in person.

When I send someone a text, I generally want at least some acknowledgement that I sent the message. It could be something like "okay," or liking the message. Even though I don't especially care about what kind of response I get and I don't think anything of it if the person doesn't answer the question I asked; it leaves me low key salty if they don't give me any kind of response at all.

Am I being petty for wanting at least some kind of vague acknowlegment that I sent a text?

I want you to think very carefully who do you think does a horrible job at raising a child and which one of the two parents is the laziest dead beat?

Will it be dogs, cats or both? Just pick which one you want, but don't go overboard with the "I-told-you-sos". It's just a choice no right or wrong answer.

Not counting SO’s…actual friends. Obviously we will all have different definitions of friendship.

It could be either your sweet mom or your cool dad? Think read hard and tell me who is the best at raising you