I've always been an introvert but for most of my life, I was passive and would frequently say yes to things I didn't want to do out of fear of insulting people by saying no. I don't show much emotion because there's simply no emotion to show to others now as I don't attach myself emotionally to hardly anyone else. This includes family members with the exceptions being the two kids of my cousin and her husband who I do connect with on some levels.
The most notable exception is my long distance girlfriend who's been there for me every step of the way for the past 2 years and I've been there for her as much as I can. Other than that, I aggressively avoid forming connections with anyone but when brought a topic I am passionate about, like firearms, I'm more than happy to make recommendations and show research.
A relatively recent change in my medication for focus and depression that started about 8 months ago has led to a significant shift in my behavior in that I became very assertive and sometimes even aggressive towards others who annoyed me. It's not hard to annoy me though if you're a coworker as all you'd have to do to irritate me is walk into my office and say my name as I like when it's quiet in there.
I do show displeasure towards others when the unwanted contact occurs with my body language bladed away from them and I often don't make eye contact as I just want them out so I can return to things being quiet. I now almost always say no to family gatherings, going out to eat, weekend activities and so on. I simply don't enjoy the company of others and would rather be alone doing activities i enjoy.
However with my girlfriend, I'm the opposite, I'm as warm as can possibly be and I'm always telling her how much I love her and how just knowing that she's on the other side of the screen writing to me brings me warmth and comfort. I'd do anything with her, if she invited me to literally just go kick rocks, I'd say yes and probably have a great time doing it
When with people I'm close to I'm usually nice and talkative but sometimes I'm also cold. So people who don't know me would think I'm super cold and closed off but people who know me know that's just a side of me.
I probably come off as cold to people and my normal facial expression which looks glum or sad doesn't help much lol. I'm an introvert and people will have to approach me so I'm a loner pretty much. I don't mind being in my own company because all I can hear are my thoughts and all I can feel is my presence. I am somewhat distant but at the same time will let people be my friend.
