Questions: Family & Friends

I personally don't feel connected to my child who has a behavioral disorder (most likely ADHD combined with another disorder) and resent him. He does nothing but fuck up my life and well being day in and day out. Because of his disorder he's always acting wild and out of control and I feel like he reminds me of a wild animal. My friend has a dog who is more tamed than my child.

Likely they will be passing through in a few weeks so we can meet up then. Also they promised promised not to make it last minute and they switched the timing from further to closer last minute.. well last minute for me which is less than a two week warning.

So not only am I just getting over being sick but I was caught off guard and I’m not up to it. Literally, I don’t want to throw up on them.

They keep checking to see if I’m going to change my mind.. giving me up to the last minute which is so stressful like I wish they’d just say ok we’ll see you next time.

Anyhow, how terrible on a scale of 1-10 is it for me to not go? I already have them a heads up so it’s not out of no where but I feel bad. But also sick. Plus it’s only been 72 hours- I can still be contagious I don’t even see why they’d want to risk it 🤷🏻‍♀️

Thing is we almost met up several times but didn’t bc of miscalculation on both our parts so I feel like I’m more tipping the scale of fault now— which is not useful but hey that’s where I’m at.

My first love told me out of his own mouth that I shouldn’t trust him after I guess I showed that I trusted him too much. Like a fool I did. But that was just one of many times where I have trusted people and eventually realized that I shouldn’t have. I talked to my dad about it and he said that I should never trust anyone 100%. It took me 25 years to finally agree with him that it has to be this way. But I’m just wondering if anyone else can agree or disagree? And why do you feel that way?