Cute cashier?

[Anonymous]

I was at the grocery store yesterday and there was this cashier that I thought was cute (maybe others wouldn't, but I did). I know she's there to work, but I live in a small town and there aren't that many costumers, so I don't think I'd be much of a bother if I just started a conversation.

Even though I'm shy, I've started conversation with cashiers before, but they were in bookstores or clothing stores, and therefore conversations were a lot easier to start, because I could talk about books or ask for their opinion on some item there. The ones I've had conversations with seem to like me a lot and appreciate seeing someone familiar because the next time I go there, they always smile, go up to me and open a conversation by themselves (and more personal topics), but I have bad luck because they are NEVER single.

Anyway, I digress. I have no idea how to start longer conversations with a cashier in a grocery store, I can hardly talk about food! And asking about how it is to work in the store seem to be a rather short and impersonal conversation :-/

Updates

+1 y

Ps. I'm not over 45. I'm really 20

[jdcpa]

Well, let's examine the situation; (so you destroy the urge to chicken-sh*t out of it or half-@ss it)

- She works there

- You don't know her

- Unless you're planning on attending the store's christmas party, stalk her circle of friends to socialize with her outside of work, or somehow tap into her non-work social circle of friends; then you'll just have to accept that if you want to interact with this girl, the ONLY way to do so is when you see her working there

What options does that leave you?

Well, not many, only one really; to go up and talk to her.

No use in beating around the bush. You like the way she looks, you think she's cute, and you either just want to see what she looks like horizontally, or are genuinely curious about what kind of person she might be because you're also open and possibly interested in a relationship at this point in your life (and if she doesn't disqualify with some stereotypical female antics, this could be a potential girlfriend). But right now, all of that's in the hypothetical. Right now, you have yet to speak to her or really get to know her.

I hope fear isn't stopping you. The only two outcomes from talking to her are:

- She likes you (talks to you too)

- She doesn't like you (keeps conversation short, polite, impersonal, politely rejecting your advances in the hopes that you catch her drift and don't force her to reject your persistent advances in less subtle and polite ways)

I'll tell you the only outcome from you NOT talking to her:

- Nothing.

Now, how would I get the ball rolling?

Well, I'm a guy. And as a guy, you should know that your gift to women is approaching and initiating an interaction. Do you know why so many girls end up with jerks instead of nice guys? Because nice guys want a relationship as well as sex, while jerks just want sex. That causes nice guys to be emotionally involved in the interaction and feel inhibited, nervous, shy. Jerks aren't emotionally invested in the interaction, so they just go on right ahead. The difference is that the jerk talked, the nice guy didn't.

This isn't my rant on telling you to be a jerk. This is my rant on letting you understand the gift you have to offer her; BREAKING THE ICE. She won't do it. She just expects a guy to magically feel motivated enough to do it. Be that guy, and only two things can happen:

- She appreciates it (99% of the time; seriously)

- She's a b*tch (1% of the time; seriously)

I'd just walk up with stuff in my hands that easy to make fun of and laugh about. That way, you have something (funny) to talk about. The conversation flows naturally, because you're just having fun and making jokes at laughable items. It's not forceful, it's not creepy, it's not invasive. If she has a problem with it, you just filtered out a girl you wouldn't want to date anyway. If she doesn't; she'll appreciate your sense of confidence and fearlessness (and simultaneous lack of arrogance & cockiness)..

[jdcpa]

Note (1): being confident does NOT make you a jerk. Believe me, we all hate jerks, and we don't want to be a jerk. But "confident" & "talking" does NOT equate to "jerk". Yes, jerks have a disgusting and fake arrogance and cocky quasi/pseudo-confidence about them that guys can see and don't want to associate with themselves (unless they're jerks). I'm not telling you to be fake. Just don't be INHIBITED. Be casual, relaxed, fearless, carefree; and that will make you fun and confident!

[jdcpa]

Note (2): This isn't a date. This is you QUICKLY (key-word) testing to see if she's interested in you or not. If she's not showing you interest, just finish the small-talk and leave. If she's not pulling away and trying to emotionally distance herself form you & the interaction, then do the confident and fearless thing; and make a bold (i'm interested in you) statement; ask for her number.

Keep the whole thing under 5 mins. You don't need more than that.

[blaubeca]

Well, how did you start conversations with the girls in the bookstores and clothing stores? Did you talk about books or the latest style? well then talk to the cashier about food. Maybe start by saying that you don't know what to make for dinner, and then ask her what her favorite dishes are and how to make them. It is also a good opener to make it clear that you are single and to see if she is single, such as by asking how to make the dish for one. You can also try to fit in an invitation to dinner at a new restaurant or something.

If you are still too nervous to try it on the cashier you like, then maybe do a test run on some other cashier at a different store, to get the hang of it. Although, honestly, I worked as a cashier for a long time, and ANY topic of conversation was more than welcome while I worked. Everything gets so boring up there at the registers that any conversation is like gold. Good Luck!

[jrose]

As a cashier, if you make any attempt at all to talk to me rather than ignoring my existence and pretending I'm just a machine there to serve you, I'll notice and appreciate it. You can talk to her about how busy it's been or what a nice day it is or the product you're buying or ask her about her day- was it long, did she have school first etc. Really whatever you say will be welcome. Believe me, when you spend hours working cash and having people gripe at you or ignore you, the people who smile at you and ask you about your day or even just comment on the weather are well responded to. The most important thing: smile genuinely at her while you're coming up, say hello first so she knows you've actually noticed her before she greets you with the perfunctory "hi, how are you today" we cashiers say hundreds of times a day.

[Asker]

I always say hello first and smile genuinely to cashiers. I also say "thank you" when I get my change and "bye" when I leave.

[jrose]

Very glad to hear it- you don't know how rare that actually is. Thanks on behalf of all cashiers! And she will probably remember you if you always talk to her- I know I like my regulars who always ask me how I am and seem to geuninely care.

[Asker]

Oh, its nothing, you should thank my mother :D I never ignore anyone. When I was a kid, I often talked to the janitors at school (still do, but not as much) and my dad recently told me that after I had a sleepover at a friend's house, parents would often compliment mom and dad on how happy and polite I was.

Anyway, enough reminiscing. thanks for the tips :)