It is because of patriarchy, not because men are visual. Just because men are extremely visual, it doesn’t Women are not visual. I am very visual myself.
We live in a patriarchal culture where a woman has no worth unless she dresses up and look nice for men. Women are supposed to cater to men in almost every way. It is IMPLIED that if a woman can’t get a mans attention, she is WORTHLESS. this goes way back to history.
During the 1970s and prior , a woman’s virginity is highly prized but men are complimented for being promiscuous. Back then during the old days , a woman had nothing other than her virginity to prove her self worth. A man wouldn’t marry a non virgin female because he cannot own a woman if he didn’t take her virginity. During the 1800s and early 1900s, a woman was looked down upon for being u married and they were called “old spinster maids”. Similar expectations for women are still set forth nowadays. IF YOU can't GET A MANS ATTENTION, YOU ARE WORTHLESS.
this goes to prove that patriarchy still exists today.
and remember all those pics of random half naked women you see on commercials? Or billboards?
These are attempts are created by patriarchal men who want to over sexualize women to cater to men. Women’s looks are over glorified to cater to men.
Whenever my father watches a tv show, he would comment “oh the show host is not pretty”. I reply “ maybe we should order a CUSTOM MADE host for you. And we’ll make her extra pretty for you”
a lot of these men are raised to be entitled assholes believing that women’s looks should all be done perfection in order to cater to men.
When was was the last time your boyfriend made an effort to look good for you?
"I'm not ugly it's the patriarchy" Would you blame the patriarchy for how women treat fat men or short men or would you call it a STANDARD! People have standards, they know what they like and don't like. Don't blame men because women make magazines to make each other insecure and post body photos to get attention. Last time I checked women, grown women, can decide for themselves how they want to feel and who they want to like. The fact is 95% of women can get a man with zero problems, but the ones who are single just don't want the people around them. No one is making you look good, no one is making you make an effort. If you want a man to make an effort, ASK HIM. USE YOUR VOICE LIKE AN ADULT.
@Aislin9 my dad was just saying yesterday while my mom was watching a cooking channel on YouTube “that woman is so ugly and fat and she has all those views imagine if you made a cooking channel. I think you’d do better” Lol. As if people were watching her for her looks and not the recipes. Same way when he sees a female newscaster “oh she’s so ugly and she has all that confidence. You guys are so much prettier where’s your confidence?” And he never once commented on the looks of a male actor/model/newscaster/anything funny enough.
@Hypnos0929 when your standards are pressuring women to die from starvation diets , oversexualizng women on billboards commercials tv everywhere , Half naked women everywhere, telling women they should die just cus they don’t fit what media claims they should all look like. You have taken it to an UNETHICAL level.
Looks will always matter but not to the exaggerated extent you do
@Mellontikos keep in mind that boys are raised to believe that women should all look a certain high standard in order for him to think she’s worthy of any respect at all.
I have seen countless guys think that girls should be put up to a much higher standard in terms of physical appearance compared to men
@Mellontikos women would gladly go out with a guy who doesn’t even comb his hair or dresses up for a date. Women would gladly date a guy who just wears a random faded polo t shirt and dirty jeans to a bar. It is more socially acceptable for men to smell and wear the same Shirt two days in a Row but if a woman is seen wearing the same blouse two nights in a row , she gets looked down upon. Women are the ones dressing up for bars and dates, not men. Women are the ones fanatically spending hours doing makeup and preparing her outfits for dates. It is predominately women that are fanatically spending extravagant amounts of money buying makeup , lotions , anti aging creams , shopping for clothes , shoes. Brainwashed to believe that she must look as beautiful as possible if she doesn’t want to be looked down upon by men. It is mainly women feeding the diet industry buying diet pills going on starvation diets. Women are much more likely to be insecure about their bodies than men.
Don’t come on here with your BS Ans tell me standards for physical appearance is the same as it is for men
I get that you have a bias and anger towards men, but here's the truth:
1. The reason women spend all that time, money and effort to look good, is not because of some required goal to look as good as possible for all men. The real reason is because women want to attract the best looking men. 2. Most men would not give an absolute shit if you wore the same clothes 3 times in a row. We usually don't notice those things. The pressure for that is coming from OTHER WOMEN and Women's media (Women's mags, etc). 3. Most men, also would not give a shit if you wear make up or not. The difference here is that women are artificially enhancing their looks, and they like that advantage. Men can't use makeup to enhance their looks at all. Maybe a little, but what little me could do is simply to cover skin imperfections. The whole array of make up options for women are meant to make the woman more sexually aroused, which is why men find it attractive. The reason you hate it is because you know you'll lose the advantage of looking 1 or 2 points higher than your actual real look, and hence will have to date down to men not as attractive.
@Mellontikos you’re fucking lying. Women will always buy more beauty products than men , not because we like to, but because we need to. You don’t see men going overhyped on skincare , you don’t see all men being obsessed with gym memberships. You don’t see more men than women going for plastic surgery. You don’t see more men going on starvation diets or taking diet pills than women. You don’t see men constantly being insecure of their own bodies or calling themselves fat ( when they are not). You don’t see men crying over a bunch of white hairs or wrinkles
I was bullied by both boys and girls. It did affect me. It seemed that the girls were trying to shame me in front of guys. Something more fun about it I guess. I was a naturally skinny teenager with bad skin. I don't remember being affected by magazines at the time and I read a lot of girls/women's magazines. I did get sort of verbally attacked in a night club bar one time. Another woman told me she hated me because I was so skinny. It was the 90s when unnatural super skinny was in. I weighed 95 lbs/ 5' 1 1/2" at the time and I didn't see it as too much of a blessing at the time.
Once things are set into place whether it come from people in society, from family, one nasty boyfriend or from social media. It becomes an internal dialogue that a woman gives herself. She doesn't even have to have anyone emotionally beating her up about herself. At this point she might not even accept with others give her compliments.
Once it hits this point it's best to get professional help or an intervention from friends might work making her aware of the loop she has set up for herself. It takes a conscientious determination to slow down and then break the loop.
Long story short I think it's the first significant person in one's life that is the harshest. I do think girls/women have an easier time picking another girl's/women's vulnerable spot.
Post Note: The self love has to start all over again once a woman (and men) once a woman hits her 50s because that is when real physical changes happen. Staying fit is harder and one has to come to the realization that nothing physical is ever going to be the same. I call wrinkles the acne of old people.
In other part of the world (kerala, india), where dating system is age old, where men are more timid in asking out except for a lifelong commitment for lifeless bond, Women don't care their shape, inturn most of them assumed shape of a minimotor, but still walks like a queen demanding the best of the best among men in their own terms &conditions (sex will be the last thing they want). Here, men floods for them even after all this pre written slave code (not all but many a lot) In places where men demands expectations women concern themselves, because it's about them. So by comparing both cultures I think it's because of abled men they change. But no one wants them to die from anorexia. Everyone has their own best, I don't see any mistake in self improvement.
Men didn't start it.. (At least straight..). That's the narrative that's usually that's spun.. But most guys are okay with a womans body type as long as it's not on either extreme.. An example is that guys will swipe right on the bast majority of girls they see.. Whereas girls only swipe right on a certain onset of guys.. Womem are harder on other women than men ever are.. I asked a woman colleague of mine why she felt a certain hairstyle would make her look good, when she always looks good.. She told me that "a man wouldn't understand"..
I agree that women comparing our bodies to others is an issue, but I think it's deeper than just one gender instigating the issue.
Between comparing ourselves to other women, along with social media and all these wannabe models giving girls unrealistic standards to how they should look, it can be demoralizing. I mean let's be real here, how many "average" looking women do you see featured on magazine covers, social media sites, in movies, or television? Yeah, not many. Ideally, they go for skinny, fit, and even curvy women to appeal to what viewers want.
I'll be honest, I have terrible self esteem regarding my body! Everyone says I look "fine," Yet I look at all these fitness models and fitness trainers online and wish I had a figure or body like theirs... the real ones, not the one that are obviously photoshopped; yes, I know the difference.
No, men certainly don't help. Especially the ones that claim they don't care about looks when they know damn well they DO look at our bodies and use it as a factor to gauge our attractiveness! However, I don't believe men are the main factor behind most of women's body issues.
I would blame society as a whole for setting unrealistic standards and being so damn judgmental! If you're fat, you're judged by others. If you're too skinny, you're judged. If you're the perfect size and figure for your body type, others STILL judge you or hate you. You just can't win nowadays.
It's what women think they have to look like for men. If you look at all the questions here, women are constantly asking things like what shape of ass do you like, what size bewbs do you like, tits or ass, what vulva do you like, how fat of an ass should I have, blah blah blah Why are they trying to be hookers? It's insane.
It's mostly insecure girls shaming other normal women or else sexist men shaming women. Some examples of that is a guy on here telling overweight women that they shouldn't wear bikinis or guys saying short hair is disgusting on women. etc etc etc
It gets old. I hope the younger generation are smarter than all of us and reject this BS.
I know both men and women who critize harshly when a woman is not pretty enaugh for them. I know people who accept more different type of bodies, or people who won't critize a body only because it's not their main preference.
I think women who have body issues, it's because they've had the misfortune of beign surrounded by people (men, women or both) that have criticized them harshly and directly. Sometimes might even be the parents the ones who are very harsh and cause the body issues.
I think so. Overall men's standards for attractiveness aren't that high. Men are out there paying money for semi nude pictures and sometimes even feet pictures on sites like onlyfans. Despite us supposedly being more visual I don't think men require that much to be turned on by a woman's body.
This can also be seen anecdotally with how the average women can get laid significantly easier than the average man. If men really did judge attractiveness more harshly than women do I would expect to see the reverse.
Agreed. I feel like men aren’t as picky with women’s bodies are as women are with their own. If a woman has a hip dip or not a thigh gap, they worry about it and try to fix it. Men don’t seem to care as much about women’s bodies as crazy as it seems! Women are far more picky and that is where the critisism is from? Themselves comparing themselves to other women that have been airbrushed and pulled in and stretched in magazines and Instagram. Not from men
No it's because of men. We know this because gay men are also more likely to suffer from body issues (because they're trying to attract men). https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2080655/ I have a gay friend with an eating disorder and he said he probably wouldn't have an ED if he was straight, because women are more accepting of partners being a little chubbier.
Gay men are more likely to be effeminate. Could just as easily say that feminine mindset causes it. Correlation is not causation. Also I doubt women are more accepting seeing as how women are statistically more likely to view most men as below average
Well honestly it's also kind of ourselves fault for the body issues nowadays. Bc you BY YOURSELF can decide if you follow Kylie Jenner on Instagram or for example Mik Zazon🤷♀️ It's also not only about Social Media but it has to do a lot about how we were raised and which stereotypes our parents showed us. But the magazine industry is a huge factor not gonna lie. But still we have to see that we can at least control our influence on that a little or how we're influenced.
I think the media is, there is this stereotypical image of a beautifull girl that is skinny most often. Pictures you see from models are almost every time skinny (latest years that's changing little more) if they see pictures of those "beautifull" wommen. Some might compare themselves to them and then have some isues.
I was praising a really accomplished professor of ours to an attractive female classmate who was a friend of mine. I wasn't praising her looks (she was a 5, but quite overweight), but my friend said, "Well, she's really unattractive and fat". in a really dismissive tone. This friend was very attractive, incidentally. I guess she figured I was praising the professor because I wanted to date her.
Being an Asian girl who grew up in america, there is no excuse for "lack of media representation". I (and others) grew up with no representation and didn't suffer a lot of self esteem issues.
The problem is women who don't want to out work in to look pretty. So many girls are lazy, and it's easier to tear others down then to out the work in
Women bashing women is the real problem, I hardly see men be the ones to step out of line and critize a woman's body unless he's an asshole or a doctor
Women are more brutal in criticizing their own and other women's bodies. Some is competitiveness over getting an attractive man/mate. Men contribute with porn and playboy, etc but most men are happy to date a woman with an average body.
I feel that men are harsher on women's bodies than women, but now that younger girls are watching porn, they are striving for the perfect body rather than being kids
everyone is responsible for their own body and health the media creates a certain body type men and women should have in order to be seem as perfect...
Women can be so two faced when it comes to other women. On one hand they give faux support to body positivity and promiscuity but are critical of other women on the same issues.
Man im glad the majority of us voted the same. It is 100% on other women, The media, Fashion industry, and Beauty mags on why women are so insecure about their bodies.
Dudes don't give a fuck. There's a guy for every body type. Women do that shit to themselves 100% cuz they're toxic and insecure. They just use men as a scapegoat
I'd say both genders are partially responsible for people's insecurities in general. However, people also have to take responsibility for their own feelings
Women bash other women to make themselves feel good. 90% of men may make a rude comment but we definitely keep it to ourselves or quietly say it between close friends. Women love to RIP each other's confidence down.
Sadly that is true. Sex appeal is a major factor in most things it seems. Looks should be secondary, the person behind the looks should be the primary concern.
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