I think my boyfriend is trying to get me fat?

i don't know if I am just imagining things or what! my boyfriend is not a chubby chaser first off...okay so I'm trying to lose weight and get more in shape like I use to be. I try and eat healthy, exercise, etc. but my boyfriend seems to be trying to get in the way.

i'll say I would like to eat healthy, he offers to cook or pick up food. he will tell me how many calories, etc are in the food, but many times he is off by a lot. like last night I wanted Asian food, he told me the dish I wanted was 450 calories. I said OK Because I didn't eat all day because I was busy...later on I look at the site to tally up what I ate all day, and it was 900 calories! he's been doing this a lot lately...also I try and work out and he will always try and stop me. I'll wanna go to the gym and he'll tell me my car doesn't work or that the gym memberships aren't paid for. ill try to work out at home in the living room and he'll tell me that oh don't work out in the I'll clean the carpet for you first so you don't get on the dirty carpet. also it seems like he wants me to be ugly. I will be loungin around playing xbox and he'll come in and tell me lets go out somewhere nice (ill be in pajamas, hair messy) and tell me just wear what I have on. I am a very pretty girl so I don't get it. why would he be doing this? I'm the prettiest girl he has even been with so shouldn't he be happy? am I just being paranoid? is he trying to make me uglier because of the myth "ugly women are better to marry"? (hes been talking about marriage)


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is something controlling people do. They try to make you insecure about yourself or the relationship so you spend most of your time competing for his approval and for him. Have you noticed any other controlling behavior. Telling you what to wear, having sex when it's not convenient for you, you're not in the mood,or without four play so sex isn't as enjoyable. Making remarks about other women maybe how good they look or telling you never to look like that. Comparing you to ex-girlfriends...other women basically. He may poke a little fin at the weight you've gained or touch the areas a lot; so that you notice he's notice the extra pounds.He could be insecure with you and feel like you look better than him. Questioning why you are with since his previous girlfriends haven't been as pretty as you. Talking of marriage gives you hope in the relationship as well. This also keeps you competing. Not saying he doesn't want to marry you. Definitely talk with him and let him know that you've gained weight and would like to lose it but it doesn't seem you have his support and that you'd like it. Reassure him you love and attraction for him. Both people must be confident in themselves first and then in the relationship. This ensures trust in a relationship. You need to trust him and he needs to trust you and that you both will be there in any way for each other. Best of luck!


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  • Well maybe he's tryinq to tell you somethinq hunn . like he thinks your fine the way you are, size & beauty wise .

    • idk, but he needs to stop because I wanna get in better shape so my high blood pressure goes away. I told him I'd rather be healthy and not die than him wanting what he wants

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    • you DO know that people who aren't fat can also have high blood pressure right? my father recently died because of it...he was not fat.

    • he WAS told though that he should get in better shape that it would help. so there you go...not only fat people die from it

  • One thing I noticed was that you said you hadn't eaten all day, but you were upset when you found out the calories in your dinner were 900? 900 calories a day is really low. Maybe he's concerned about you not going too extreme with your diet

    • i ate more than just that =( I had desert and some crab wontons lol. it added up to be...a lot

    • Well don't worry so much about calorie intake and just make healthy choices. If it bothers you so much just talk to him.

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