What is my problem? WHY are guys afraid of me?!?!

[Anonymous]

I'm 21 years old. I go to college, I have a few bands with whom I perform sometimes...I'm the vocalist. :)

I guess I'm considered 'beautiful' since EVERYONE tells me that , and even jokes about it sometimes! I have an hour glass shape which I love. I'm confident but somewhat shy when it comes to guys.

I have a fair amount of friends...mostly female, even though I have a few male friends which are really sweet.

Every time I meet a guy, he immediately presents himself as being 'very cool' and great and macho...well, he tries to be something he's not to try to impress me. Which I HATE!

(if any of them really knew me, they would know I hate macho types).

So, whenever I get a guy friend, somehow it turns out he starts acting different around me...not acting so much as just a friend, but tries to do things that would resemble boyfriend behavior, but he (any of them) never does anything concrete, like actually kissing me!

The guys that might like me (because I can actually never be sure), are afraid of me! They either immediately suppose I can't possibly be single, or they think I'm out of their league (which is completely moronic! 'leagues' DON'T exist!)...

Once, a guy even trembled when he was supposed to speak to me. I thought he was just cold, even though it was summer, but my friend told me that it's obvious he likes me, which I didn't believe. But a few months later, we got together, and he admitted that he was trembling because of me.He wanted to ask me out but just didn't know how to! OMG That was pretty funny!

For example;

A guy, my friend, who is accidentally one of my band members, is interested in me, but never actually hugs or kisses me. He texts me A LOT, teases me, touches me when he speaks, to 'prove his point', stares at me when he thinks I'm not looking, and when I am looking he gazes and smiles...because he wants me to know he likes me, but is too afraid to DO anything that could actually count for something. Like holding hands, a hug, a kiss... :(

What is the problem here then?

Am I so scary?

:(

[TimB -1-2-3]

You're not scary... They are scared... It's not you or how you appear to them, it is their heads. They're basically afraid to talk to you or to DO anything, really, because they may just screw it up... They're probably just afraid to be rejected.

So there's nothing you can do, simply because the problem is in THEIR heads.

What you could do to the guy you like (I guess that's the case from that last bit), is to just do it yourself. If you want to hold hands, then hold hands. If you want to kiss, then kiss. They might be guys, but that doesn't mean that they always have to initiate stuff... Especially when they're great guys, and the only thing that's "wrong" is just that they don't want to be rejected, that they don't want to potentially ruin the entire friendship just by asking for something more.

So YOU take the initiative on this one. It sounds like you're in love with the guy yourself. And if you feel that the two of you click, and he's a really great person, then there's nothing wrong with going for the meaningful stuff yourself. Remember and understand his fears of ruining a great friendship, and reassure him that you won't ruin the friendship when he wants "something more" by simply closing the deal yourself.

You want him to kiss you? Then make it so. Kiss him yourself. Or verbally initiate it "You wanne kiss me, don't you?"

You want him to hold hands? Stick out your hand for him to grab! Or grab his hand yourself!

You want "even more than that"? Do it yourself!

Show that he can DO things to you. That it's okay.

So, that's all (for now, anyways). Do report back on how things go, okay? ;p

Good luck, and have a great day! ^^

[Asker]

WoW

Thank you very much!

:)

P.S.

Will report on progress! xD

[TimB -1-2-3]

YEEESSHH!!! Finally, another person who promises to keep me updated *high five!*

Looks like you're bloody motivated, there...

And (of course), no problemo...

Now, you go, girl! ;p

[petru]

They are intimidated by your beauty! I have a feeling that this is a problem most girls would love to have. What you do? If you like a guy, make your first move! That's my advice. But you know what, I am a dude so, what do I know.

[Asker]

Yeah...perhaps...they're intimidated, but believe me, it's not all it's cracked up to be!