"Defensive" flirting?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend and we think of each other as brother and sister, he's engaged to be married, and while he is good looking I'm not vibin on him.

Well whenever my crush is around I find myself flirting with my friend, almost defensively, like as in to say "look I flirt with people other than just you, so it doesn't mean I like you"

And I really want to stop but I have developed a comfort zone with it and am unsure how to quit.

I feel like it's ruining my chances with my crush, but I also at the time don't want my crush to know I like him so I use it as a crutch.

My guy friend, who is a mutual friend between my crush and I, is well aware of my feelings for my crush too.

Any advice? Do you think I'm ruining my chances?

[Anonymous]

Well what you need to ask yourself is, do you want things to move forward with your crush, or not? If you keep not wanting him to know you like him, you're going to keep self-sabotaging by flirting with your friend. Guys don't think "oh, maybe she's just trying to make me jealous". He's likely thinking "she doesn't like me and she makes that very clear whenever I'm around by paying more attention to and flirting with this other dude".

So, the solution is to give your crush more attention. Ask him questions about himself. Get to know him more. You don't have to go straight to the major flirting right away, ease into it. Break your bad habit if you want things to change.

[why_not_anonymous]

You're certainly not helping.

Maybe you should just go after your crush, instead of fucking around with mind-games.