Should I ask him if he still wants to keep seeing me?

[Anonymous]

I've known this guy for about half a year, we're both nearly 20. I always liked him but only in the past week we started seeing each other. He's really shy, somewhat inexperienced, but I made it very obvious how I felt at a party one night (we didn't hook up though, just talked alone for sometime) and he told me to message him on Facebook. I did so two days later and he asked me to hang out...when we did hang out he was really shy and I had to make the move and kiss him, other than that it went really well. I messaged him two days later and asked him if he wanted to do something. He said yeah so we had dinner together on Thursday night and went for a drive somewhere nice, talked for sometime until he finally kissed me without me making the move. I thought that went pretty well too...

but, he hasn't messaged me in 4 days. I talked to him on Facebook for a short while yesterday and just as he was about to log off I said to let me know if he wanted to do something this week, and that it was his turn to choose what we should do on our date this time. He laughed, said ok and logged off.

He hasn't messaged me about it since. I just get this really weird feeling he's avoiding me because he's lost interest for some reason...am I being silly?

I'm thinking that if he doesn't message me by Thursday or Friday I'll just ask him straight out if he wants to keep seeing me. Is that an ok thing to do? I just want to know so that I'm not wasting my time...I just like to know for sure where I stand I guess.

Please help me, this whole not-knowing thing is driving me crazy!

Updates

+1 y

Just a side note...we haven't gone further than kissing and cuddling

[Mikerowave]

There seems to be a problem these days in that a lot of guys seem to put waaaaaaay too much faith in what they read on various websites of people who really don't know too much maybe he's just following some 'killer' advice on a website telling him to act aloof and become some kind of 'player'.

I'd recommend exactly what you're planning, ask him straight out and in person if possible (it's much more difficult to not be truthful eye to eye) what he's thinking. You may not get the answer you want, but at least you'll know

[AlanHB]

I like your attitude. I don't know why he's not messaging you back, so take steps to find out.

[Asker]

Thanks. Not too pushy if I give it another day or two before asking something like 'hey you still keen on doing something or should I take it as a no?'

[AlanHB]

No I think it's fine. I've read "He's just not that into you" as well, and whilst there may be little chance, the problem here is that you want to know "why". So it's in your best interest to at least get an answer and some closure.

[itssarahloveee]

Don't ask if he want's to 'keep seeing you', you aren't exclusive yet and it might scare him off. Just make sure you make your feelings known, most likely he's just busy and hasn't had time to think about where he wants to go and what he wants to do. Like you said, he's shy. If he's still talking to you and not ignoring what you're saying, I wouldn't worry about it. If he says he'll think about it, give him the benefit of the doubt before confronting him about it.

[Asker]

How long should I give it before deciding he's not interested? Even if he's not interested I want to know...

[itssarahloveee]

If it were me, I'd go three days. It's like a general 3 day rule. If he texts you, then great, if he doesn't after three days I'd say don't worry about and move on. But if you want to try and hook him, don't text him first. Wait for him to text you.. and don't respond right away, if he likes you, it'll drive him crazy.

[BabyBee18]

Don't waste your time, hun. It seems to me that he just isn't good enough for you. I just finished reading "He's Just Not That Into You" because I was in a similar situation... and one of the main lessons I learnt is that if a guy is into you he WILL ASK YOU OUT no matter how shy, busy, lazy etc. etc. he is. Find a man who would jump at the chance to take you out and treat you like the princess you are. Do not settle for mediocre.