Wife using snapchat for affair?

[Anonymous]

So I work at night but my wife of almost 3 years works during the day and I have our kids during the day. I got home from work one night around 2 am and I heard then noticed my wife had just received a snapchat from another man. I did the right thing, sort of, and did not view the snap chat, but rather let all sorts of dumb ideas flow through my head. A few days later I decided to calmly confront her about the snap and she tells me that he is I. T. At her work and sends little videos on how to fix computer issues. I kinda felt it wasn't truth but went with it. A few days later, my phone sort of stopped working, or at least the touch screen, which I need for work all night long. I asked to borrow her phone for the night and she let me use it. I've never snooped in my life because it hurts both parties to have happen, but I had a bad feeling and decided to trust my instinct for the first time ever. So I checked her snapchat and it seems she has been chatting with him for a few weeks. So I checked her text messages and contacts and instantly found his name within the first few texts and decided to snoop a little further. I found out that she had been talking to an older man (10+) years. And had been doin so for two months. She was flirting really hard and made a statement about how sometimes she's wild like "last night" ( said months ago) but I couldn't figure that part out.. She said her husband is more than an asshole and her marriage isn't good. She said she could help him find a girl and he said but you're married, and then she said the above. I didn't say anything the first night but the second night needing the phone she deleted everything except his number. So I confronted her, once again calmly. She only said she flirted because I was an asshole that day. I have never even kissed another person while in a relationship let alone while married, it hurts to think about. Since this situation im not sure if they still snap/ text. She changed her iPhone pin.. please HELP

Updates

+1 y

So just recently we have found out that my wife is pregnant with child 3 and her estimated date of conception is right around the time all this happened. I haven't said anything thought wise to her yet. She has to me small things like his age and I have seen him at her work. I don't know what to feel or say to her from this point in

[Thatone1]

Snapchat is the one of the most common app people are using to cheat on there spouse bc the message will go away after you read them... if she changed her phone pin then she is cheating if your not hidning Anything on your phone then why do you need a pin

[Anonymous]

being an asshole or not she shouldn't not even flirt with another guy or even say how wild she was. it seems bit clear that she's cheating when she deleted the texts and changed her pin, I'm sorry but she's not being loyal.

[Asker]

Could it be possible she deleted the text conversation to avoid conflict, and changed pin to teach me a lesson or keep me out? I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

It could have been possible she deleted it to avoid conflict but she would have only done that mainly if she didn't want to get caught or have you take notice. From what you've seen, this is definitely not a pretty picture and something a wife/mother should not be doing unless she's unhappy in the relationship. If you want to keep her, sit down and really talk this through, have the kids out of the house in case one of you two get defensive. If you're over with her, talk to her about it. Either way, it's a messed up thing what your supposedly wife did. Now I'm not sure if she deleted her snapchat but if she did, then something defined happened. I just saw your update and i think it's best to talk this out with her. Better to happen soon as possible. Think of your children.

[Asker]

She still has snapchat unfortunately. Just hard to tell if the two still communicate via email text snaps or at work in person. What would be an easy way to go about this talk? Like to initiate the conversation."?

[Opinion Owner]

I think it'd be best to just beat around the bush about what the main reason is just so that she'll not want to run away (if it can happen) when she at first finds out. Make dinner, or have a movie night, something in the house so if things do get defensive it won't be in public and loud. Once she has agreed and everything is done all you need to then worry about is whether your wife is being loyal or not.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

Divorce her or something cus that shit she pulled ain't cool, she is a liar and is not to be trusted.

[Hercules073]

Dude, tell her the truth. Tell her you don't trust her anymore. Than it is up to her if she wants to earn your trust back.

Trusting eachother in a relationship is really important.

[Asker]

I have told her I lost my trust. I explained how and why I found out. She told me small minute details such a as he's about ten years older (at least) and I was an ass so she flirted and I've seen the guy at her work. She sees and knows how much it's been killing and tearing me apart since the end of October. I have told her and shown her how calm and understanding I can and am about the situation. I just want the cod hard honest truth. I believe she wants to tell me more or at least something but is too scared or nervous to. Just recently we found out she is pregnant with child number 3 but her estimated conception date is right around the time this happened and I started snooping while I could. So now I'm worrying about that because we have a family already. She WAS the only person I opened up to and ever trusted in my life and this happened so I'm at a complete loss right now on what to do or say to have her open up. I'd rather know hurtful truth than be lied to and stI'll be hurtin

[ilovemse]

My opinion. She cheated on you and frankly, is walking all over you.

Divorce her and distance yourself from her as much as you can. Fast.

[ilovemse]

Well, if you want absolute certainty you should ask her for a DNA exam of the kid, and proceed after you have the results.

[Asker]

We did have sex two weeks after I confronted her so it's one of those damn it kind of things.

[ilovemse]

Yeah, well. I might have been to quick to judge her, without knowing the specifics. I do suspect her, but, yeah, she deserves the benefit of the doubt.

This is why I think you should ask her for a DNA exam of the kid before deciding.

If the kid is not yours, the matter is settled, don't you think?

But even if the kid is yours, I think there is a lot of evidence suggesting she cheated on you, or, at the very least, doesn't respect you at all.
1. *She was flirting really hard and made a statement about how sometimes she's wild like "last night" ( said months ago) but I couldn't figure that part out.*
This screams to me she had sex with him. Was it around three months ago, right?
2. *She said her husband is more than an asshole and her marriage isn't good*
Ehm, call me suspicious, but, a woman saying that sort of thing about you to a MAN with whom she chats at night, and that lied to you about the content of those chats, looks too much like a woman that doesn't respect you, at all.

[ilovemse]

(continued)

3. The ridiculous lie she told you about why she did chat with this guy at first.

Sorry, but it just looks far too suspicuous. Of course it is not *evidence* so she still isn't guilty, but is enough to suspect the worst, at least.

So, how to prove or disprove beyond doubt whether she is cheating on you?

Looks difficult.

But first, DNA test. This is a must I think. Until you have the results, I think it is best to do nothing at all.
Second. Damn, can't come with a good idea for this, really. The most I can think about is, try talking with some people where she works. Or mutual acquaintances. Maybe they know something? Or maybe they drop hints? Or contradict her story? Sorry, it is not of very helpful but Im not very creative right now, sorry.

[Anonymous]

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[JustinX9]

I really hate these things in marriage... damn this woman can't be trusted... cheaters should go back where they came from