Awkwardness between me and my best guy friend?

Anonymous
Me and this guy have been friends for a few months now. In march we didn't speak the entire month because of some misunderstanding but it's dealt with now. Anyways, we are pretty tight. We can tell eachother everything and we hung out a lot. I know about his mental illnesses, he knows about my self harm, etc. The thing is, even tho we are so close and I love him whenever we talk on the phone or see eachother face to face there's always tension. We can talk and whatnot but it's always just kind of awkward. I think he notices it too because he always seems unsure of what to say and laughs nervous a lot.

He told me he likes this girl but it doesn't seem like it anymore. I admit I have feelings for him but I'm scared to admit it... we are so close yet so far? What is chasing this? Does that mean he may like me too if he's awkward as well?
Updates
+1 y
He used to show a LOT of signs he was interested in me but I played dumb and also didn't believe it was possible cause he's so out of my league... he doesn't really show it much anymore so I can't tell if he lost feelings or what now..
Awkwardness between me and my best guy friend?
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