Telling a girl that she's out of your league.

[unn0129]

I've been courting this girl that I like for the past like 7 or 8 weeks. I know she likes me, but as usual, she wants to take it slow and let things evolve organically. We've had sex a few times, we always have fun together, we are completely comfortable with one another.

In conversation a little while ago, I told her in person that I thought she was out of my league because of how intelligent and beautiful I thought she was. I don't know if she thought that was a compliment, but she basically responded that she was not out of my league and I was exactly what she was looking for in a boyfriend both relationship wise and sexual wise.

Thing is, if a guy you like tells you that, do you take it as a compliment?

[The-All-Star]

Okay mate listen carefully!

You made the biggest mistake of telling her that she's better than you and giving her the power. It didn't come off as a compliment. You didn't come off as a Man who has options and has to settle with her. No no no!

If you're not in a relationship with her than it's time turn it into one. She gave you the opener:

"exactly what she was looking for in a boyfriend both relationship wise and sexual wise."

That's like putting a sign on top of her head saying 'IM YOURS, TAKE ME!"

Keep enjoying the relationship and don't mess it up by giving her compliments ever! Especially no more that communicates that she's the better one between you two. Remain the Man.

Good luck - not that you need it if you listen.

[unn0129]

I understand what you're saying about the compliment making me seem like I don't have options. I did fear it would be perceived that way, we were both drunk that time and sometimes I say emotionally-impulsive things when I'm intoxicated.

As far as entering a relationship right now goes, it's not gonna happen right now, she's made that clear.

[unn0129]

Dude, you just made me realize (based on the stuff that I've been doing with relevance to her) that I have literally handed mostly all of the control of our relationship to her. I've made myself seem weak, inferior and like I need her in my life. She NEVER acts like this towards me.

[The-All-Star]

I love giving the guys the back hand slaps to get them to wake up.

It's great you know what you've done wrong, by giving her the control and power of the relationship. Now stop it!

[TheyCallMeStacy]

I would take it as a compliment but I'd also think you have low self-esteem. When you said "you're out of my league", it sounds like you're saying I'm not worthy of being with you. It makes you sound like a weeny lol

But about this girl: She said she wants to "take it slow", but she's had sex with you after only 8 weeks/2 months of dating. The only time sex after 8 weeks of dating is considered "taking it slow" is if you're a hooker. She sounds like she doesn't even know what she wants, so most likely she won't think any less of you for saying "you're out of my league". She'll probably take it as a compliment (unless you said that as an excuse to break up with her).

[love2sing4eva]

I'd take it as a complement but it would also kinda freak me out just because it hints towards insecurity. You should be confident in knowing you deserve her and she deserves you. Plus, you wouldn't want to plant things in her head. If she's with you, she obviously likes you and it sounds like you are equal. As long as you both feel compatible and comfortable, the superficial stuff doesn't matter at all. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

[girl26]

I would take it as sort of an insult, and the way I think...I would think he probably is making an excuse up as to why he didn't want to see me no more. Definitely would not take it as a compliment though.

[unn0129]

Damn, FML. We were both really drunk at the time, I don't think she really took me seriously. Considering the fact that we've both been on a few dates since that night, have had sex and things seem to be better than ever because she let me try a few things on her this past Saturday night that I haven't tried before.

I guess it's just one of those stupid spur of the moment things you say, that you kinda just let go.

[girl26]

Lol well yeah! If you can let it go, let it go! She may not think like me though, so I'm sure your OK. I need to learn to be less sarcastic and take a compliment every now and then also :D

[Anonymous]

I'd take it as a compliment.