GUYS-if the guy doesn't pay, does that mean it wasn't a date/bad sign?

I hung out with this guy for the first time one-on-one, and the first thing we did was go to a hookah bar. It was my idea, so all along in my head I knew I wasn't gonna let him pay for me if he offered, but when we were leaving and went to pay, he handed me $10 which would cover basically half of the hookah cost and the drink he got. I just had a credit card so I used that, and gave him back his money since it was my idea to hookah in the first place. (And I didn't think this was a date). He said something like "Whoa, now I'm going to expect you to pay and bring me flowers!" (jokingly) WHat does this mean? Did he consider this a date? Guys, is it more normal now for girls to pay for half?

-Later we went for a bite to eat, and he ordered his food, then was waiting for me to order I guess so he could pay for mine too to be even, but I just didn't let him pay for mine. I didn't think this was a date, so I didn't let him pay. What do you think of this? If this guy thought we were on a date, wouldn't he have INSISTED on paying for everything? Or at least making me keep the $10 he tried to give me before?

Thanks :-)


Most Helpful Guy

  • Lol, I'm a little confused. It sounds like the hookah bar was just hanging out, and he thought that was kind of a date. And then when you went to go out to eat he went with the flow of just hanging out. And he may have been a little confused. He probably didn't know if you felt like if he payed for you it might have overstepped your boundaries - like, taking away form your independence, if you like to pay your own way. Some people are like that. Like, if you have ever stepped in to give someone a hand and they take it the wrong way because they want to do whatever they're doing on their own/learn by them self/ or pay their own way, whatever - that kind of thing. Which is understandable. But I don't think he knew how far to take that. And that's where he might have gotten confused and said "Whoa, now I'm going to expect you to pay and bring me flowers!" That's kind of saying: Is this a role reversal or something? And I don't think he knew whether you present yourself as really independent or if getting something to eat was an actual date where he should of insisted on paying. But I think you're going to have to go out on an actual date to see what it really means.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it is more normal now for a girl to pay for half or everything than it has been in the past, even if it is a date. Since you didn't want him to pay for half at the hookah bar, he didn't want to push the issue. Some girls actually get offended if the guy insists on paying.

  • If its a date or not is debatable, just go by this, who ever does the asking out is the one who should pay for everything. If it was a date yea proper etiquette would be for the guy to insist to pay for everything. For the bite to eat he probably did think of it as a date if he was waiting for your order. If he asks to go out with you again, just don't mention anything about paying or think about wither or not its a date. If he doesn't pay for you and did the asking, its a bad sign. and no you should split anything. One or the other pays for everything.


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