How can you tell if a guy is lusting after you vs he has feelings for you?

[Anonymous]

There's a guy, we're friends, and I'm pretty sure we have a mutual attraction. What are some giveaways that he has feelings vs just being attracted to me? I have seen signs both ways so I'm confused.

[KeshavKaushik]

Look for these signs:

1.) Whenever you guys meet alone, if within minutes he initiates physical contact including kissing and groping. HE IS SHIT.

2.) Whenever you guys meet alone and he just makes sure that in every such meet something mentioned in point 1 happens, HE IS SHIT the unless of course you guys meet once in 10-15 days.

3.) If he tries to indulge in sexual conversations and texting most of the time, HE IS SHIT.

4.) If you guys are alone and many times this has happened that he does not seem like touching you THAT WAY, infact he talks, makes you laughs, hugs you, talks about things, kisses your cheek, HE IS GENUINE.

5.) If he makes it clear and abides by this feel of his that he won't make any intercourse with you unless you two are married, he is genuine. That must include an incident where you two have an opportunity and he does not takes advantage of it.

6.) If he involves family or plans a future with you, dreams about such things and is very constant about them, he is genuine.

[MToDaD]

You can't really tell, it could be both. I think a little more detail would be great ^^ What does he do that makes you think he's interested? how often do you see each other and How are your Conversations? (Do you have much to talk about or do you rarely find words?)

[Asker]

We talk in person at least once a week and he talks a lot. There's lots of eye contact, we talk about real things like our families, our interests, and we joke around. Sometimes he stares at me from far away and doesn't look away when I look back. He compliments my intelligence, the odd time on something I'm wearing. He offered to go talk to this guy for me who was giving me a hard time about something at school. I've caught him glancing at my legs or waist. He usually initiates our conversations and remembers things I've shared with him, even a long time ago. He comments on how we have so much in common (we do). So is this like or lust or a bit of both?

[MToDaD]

That sounds like both, after all, "love" does not come alone! It's only normal that he likes you both ways!

[Asker]

What are the chances he just sees me as a friend?

[MToDaD]

Based on our Conservation he seems to like you, but of course I don't really know you guys So.. I don't know. I think you should ask him out, talk to him, watch him and then get yourself a view of the Situation. Best thing you can do is ask him directly! :)

[MToDaD]

But In case you two find together, don't rush anything in case He really is just after Sex!

[genarod]

If he is lusting at you he will want to physically touch you all the time. He would also stare at your body checking you out. He will stare at you and wink at you he will openly flirt with you and try to kiss you if he is confident. If he has feelings for you, he will be attentive to your needs, open doors for you, buy you stuff, ask personal questions to get to know you better, give you compliments and smile everyone he sees you and wants to hang out with you as much as he can.

[sassycassy87]

They say it depends on what he calls you. Like beautiful, pretty and cute are sincere where as sexy, hot, etc are sexual

[Obfuscate]

i think some women read way to much in to the words chosen... i am not saying that there is absolutely nothing to that, but we've all seen this advice plastered to a picture somewhere online... if someone is often duplicitous, they may very well be compensating for this... i don't think having seen someone talk about this is even necessary if they are moderately intelligent and socially aware... it can be a pretty good indicator of how direct a man is being about what he wants, but even that is not infallible due to variation in individual perceptions and diction...

[sassycassy87]

See? Lol I am another confused woman haha

[crazy8000]

Whit that statement, yes!

It's much more complex and a lot of good starts has gone down the drain because of assumptions like that.

Take it little more as it comes, if you don't like how it develops, do something about it.
Feelings need certain things to get triggered and time to grow to be. (time is relative)

I say as girl's usually say to men thet cold read in to thing's little to much.
Hold your horses!

[Dreku]

How much of the interaction is based around that and what cues bring it about, I'm lust crazed by my "SO" and a sex addict receiving CBT to control it, however most of what we enjoy is just being together, highly sexual and will speak my thoughts or come on to her very often however if she was like meh not now id make a sexual joke and drop it as lust is enjoyable and fun to act on in any sense but I love her and would hate for her to feel it was less that and more lust, lust is good but when its all the interaction is based around then its is likely only about that

[radrio]

Lust is part of the attraction phase. Lust is a good sign of physical attraction. You want lust because it leads to an extra layer of desire to stay together.

You have to see through his other actions if there is more than just lust, however. See if he shows the same attention and care to you around people as he could when alone.

[Edanurus]

There's some pretty clear signs two friends are into one another but it's much more obvious from the outside than it is in. Here's a few.

Constantly flirting. Not in a sexual way generally and you probably wouldn't notice it yourself.

You tend to congregate together in social situations. If there are 2 separate conversations going on you find yourself in the same conversation.

Interest in you as a person rather than just 'your hot' 'let's have a laugh'.

If your really friends then he won't sleep with you casually unless explicitly stating that's what it is.

Your best bet is to see what mutual friends think if your not too embarrassed by it. It's painfully obvious if there's attraction there.

[Obfuscate]

i see no reason why it isn't both... when you explained on another comment what his behavior was, it appeared that he was interested in you for more than sex... it is really hard to tell with a cursory level of information, though i would suspect that the other people in your lives could provide better insight... i think you could ask him and find out also... most men appreciate transparent communication (unless they have something to hide)...

[Asker]

One of my friends said she noticed he talks to me a lot, more than other girls I guess.

[Ivan01]

You can have patience, give him a chance to express himself clearly while not letting him get TOO close as a precaution and learn to tell the normal way. Also you can ignore him, spend 6 months to the rest of your life learning to have some kind of extra perception like the one that Reiki, reading of the Akashic Records or stuff similar can give you. I'd recommend the second, you'll be too busy as for give the guy undeserved importance 😛 Just get a good, and not religious teacher

[shehryaarahmed]

Oh the difference in love and lust. To find that out, just give it time. If he's actually into you he'll wait, won't rush things or force you in anyway. Observe!
See what he mostly talks about...

[Asker]

Well we've been flirting on and off for 2 years. We haven't always been available during this time.

[shehryaarahmed]

Hmm is this like a long distance thing?

[Asker]

Not long distance. We go to the same school but dont hang out in the same group.

[shehryaarahmed]

Then chill. If he's yours, he'll come and you'll know.

[Devilzzz]

If he is with u for a very long time and is caring or spending much time with u, then he has a feeling for u...

If he is just for lust it ll be obvious , he ll try to flirt with u as much as he can. Even some frnds will flirt , but if he is flirting most of the time then be careful

[Jamie1865]

Look into NLP. Get a nodding acquaintance with that and you can spot a bullshitter a mile away. Even the Police use it.

[MrCellophane]

Do you two have real phone conversations? If not, call him. See how long you two talk, what you talk about. If he's giving you real attention like that, you've got something exciting brewing.

[Nephilim000]

i would look at the types of situations he puts the brakes on versus the types of interactions he instigated and it should give you a pretty honest read

[JackofSpades]

It's usually a buy one get one kind of deal.

One without the other seems unusual.

[kunalmehta005]

This is a really confusing part... For that I think it depends on how he treats u in different situations and then only can u know his actual feelings

[genericname85]

easy. if he vanishes after you had sex, he wasn't so into you xD if he sticks around, it was not just lust.

[HansHoth]

C'mon, it's easy to tell. If you're in doubt about feelings, then there's your answer. If feelings are there, you always know it.

[rm_llort]

All men lust, we don't love. You fake orgasms we fake love.

[shep0612]

It's safe to say if it has a prick it wants to fuck

[Vadin]

I think second answer is the right one

[Nahid1234]

Actions are different from words being said

[Asker]

I don't understand what you're saying. Can you explain?

[Nahid1234]

You’re cute.

[rhonlovable]

Maybe both... lusting comes when you are attracted

[standardguy]

Trust you most deep feelings.

[RedRain]

Maybe it's both?

[esn9464]

He respects you

[vjedi]

Lust is a feeling.