My boyfriend hit on another woman- may have been innocent but now what?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend invited me out the other night at a joint that frequents at. My boyfriend is somewhat friends with the cook/bartender. I know but not super well. By business only. The bartender kept telling my boyfriend jokingly that he better not hit on his sister. I know the bartender has hit on me a few times. So I thought he was talking about me. So I didn't say anything. Well yesterday I brought it up and no the bartender was not talking about me it was another woman. I don't think it was his sister but could be. So I asked my boyfriend were you hitting on her. His first answer was well she left. Then he said no the bartender was just joking around. I am thinking what if she would have stayed. I mean slight flirting is no big deal but trying deliberately to pick sum up is not good. I am not sure what happened. I am angry that he was hitting in her. He told me I was acting like a child because I was mad. I told him that I respect him. I am not hitting on guys when I am not with him. He was laughing at me because I was mad. He kept insisting that the bartender was just joking around with him. I told him I hope so. Should I just let this go? I mean nothing happened right? Should I just forget and move one any advice

[rdabby]

according to men yes you over reacted and you should just let go, You didn't exactlly catch him flirting with her in front of you then ythere is nothing you can really do since he didn't do anything. Al you could do is to tell him that it bothers you if he flirts with other chicks.

[palek]

You could always wait until he's sleeping and then poke out his eyes. I guess maybe that's a little harsh. If he asks other women out, then you'll just have to dump him because this would mean he's not that into you.

[Asker]

A few times I have seen him flirt no big deal but we have been dating 2 years. The problem is, is that he is not from here but actually from Spain. He has a wife and kids back home. I am aware of this. He works here in the usa 3-5 years b4 returning then comes back every after 6months. I know that he isn't commited to me. I told him if he wants to be with other women to let me know so I can move on instead of waiting for him to leave.

[palek]

Tell this guy goodbye, join a dating site and find a guy who wants to be with you alone, and never look back.

[Asker]

Thanks.. I keep telling myself that.. I let him go once but the problem was I looked back. So its tearing me up but I need to find the will

[aunin]

Has still got wife and kids, not committed to you... what else do you need to stop wasting time waiting for this guy?

[Asker]

Its complicated that eventually will fix itself. I love him and he feels the same but he is willing to stay with his wife for his kids sake. If he didn't have kids this wouldn't be happening. He has showed a ton of emotion- and through the tough he has still stuck it out with me. Usually a guy that just wants sex leaves right away- and forgets the drama. Now it has come down to flirting with other women. I guess maybe I am just not ready to let go. I should throw cold water on myself to wake up.

[bunny420]

Nice one dating a married guy.

[Asker]

Not really. it was only a friends with benefits until he got emotional. Then I caved. He told me its hard on him as well. His kids come first ain't no way I am getting in the middle here. I would just like a little respect in the mean time if its too hard to handle well c u

[bunny420]

Oh so you just meant to f*** someone's husband.

[dynamic23]

You EARN respect, and not by being a mistress to a married man.. your request for a little respect is denied. You screwed a married man, fell in love with him, and then ask for sympathy when he hits on someone else? You got played, and you deserve every bit of it. You should honestly tell his wife what happened, she's probably the only true victim here (besides the kids).

[bunny420]

Totally agree with the last comment.

[Asker]

Thanks guys that was harsh. I would have never aloud it if she was here in the country OK. People make mistakes. Its been 3 years since he has seen his wife and will be another 2 until he goes back. I understand sum1 getting lonely. Honestly can any of you live 5 years at a time without your wife or husband. It gets lonely. but this relationship brief ok.. I guess I deserve whatever hits me in the ace.

[bunny420]

Why the hell's he in a different country for 5 years? And he should have told his wife anyway.

[Asker]

Cuz he works here... geez . Yes his wife knows about me. She has a guy over there too. I talked to her once. She know he luvs me but that he would go back to her for the kids sake.

[bunny420]

Weird. You know it's the death penalty in Spain for adultery right?

[Asker]

It is weird!