I hit my boyfriend, was it justified?

[Anonymous]

I picked my boyfriend up after he got drunk and stayed at a friends the night before. We got in an argument in the car and he kicked my windshield and broke it as we were driving home then continued to threaten to break the other windows. I was driving. I got emotionally overwhelmed and hit him in the face. He’s now wanting me to apologize but has not apologized for damaging my car. We obviously need to break up since our relationship has elevated to this level of toxicity. I did apologize and I truly feel bad about hitting him. But a part of me feels like this is not entirely out of line considering the circumstances.

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for the opinions. To clarify, it wasn’t quite a punch. Wasn’t quite a slap. I would say it was somewhere in between and not something I even thought about.

That’s not an excuse. I think I need to take a step back and understand why my unconcious brain resorted to “hit him”.

[Effably]

Two wrongs doesn't really make a right. Subjectively I'd rather have a girlfriend hit me once than squash my windshield so I'll give you that much. That said hitting someone is technically still the worse crime. Of course hitting someone can be in very different degrees. I am picturing a knuckle to the face, not an open hand tap.

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

What he did was break something of yours which is damage to one's personal property now if you wanted to you could file a police report against him, for him to pay the cost to repair the windshield... Sorry you are up against this you deserve better don't worry and get upset that you slapped him he needs to appreciate you better 👼🙏👼👍

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Thanks For MHO :)

[BunChan]

No, it wasn't. But he was an asshole and I can see myself punching him in the face. You could have just ditched his ass, got him to pay for the damages and broke up with this loser.

[Asker]

He paid for the damages, I broke up with him and we haven’t talked in nearly a year. So glad that era of my life is over!!

[virgin20]

Yeah it is. I'd be fuming.
Before you break up get him to pay for that to be fixed, that's the hard part. Then break up I'm sure he isn't that hurt physically like

[jahaims]

Na you were in the wrong to resort to violence. Violence should only be for self defense.

[Silver158]

She was defending her property technically.

[jahaims]

Defending property isn't SELF defense

[Silver158]

You're right it's not but it's still defending what's YOURS which is something the law allows for using reasonable force. So she was in the right. See, I can use caps too. :)

[jahaims]

And I stand by my statement. Violence is only acceptable in a self defense situation

[Silver158]

that's fine. But see how well you get on with that when someone breaks into your home to steal your stuff.

[jahaims]

Someone in my house is a direct physical threat. Gl getting into my house

[Silver158]

But someone in her car damaging it in a violent manner isn't? Sound logic you have there. But whatever supports your rubbish argument I guess...

[jahaims]

One situation is her BOYFRIEND and he was INVITED into the vehicle. If your s/o is breaking stuff in your house out of anger it isn't even close to the same thing as a stranger breaking into your house.

[Silver158]

Yeah, it is. it's just YOUR logic is FLAWED. See, I can use caps too :)

[jahaims]

What is flawed about it. I literally poked holes in all of your counter points and then you say my logic is flawed.

[Silver158]

No you didn't. You said that if someone broke into your home with the intent to steal that would constitute an immediate threat. However, by your logic, if he had the label of "boyfriend" then that makes it okay and removes any possible threat even if already behaving in a violent manner. But the label makes it okay.

[jahaims]

You cannot reasonably assume a stranger's intent the same way you can with your s/o. She new he was damaging her property out of anger. People break into house to steal and make a profit usually because of drug use. Drug addicts get desperate and don't care about others. People break into houses to rape and murder. Also hitting an intoxicated passenger while driving only increases the chance of violence towards you. Her being a female would more than likely be over powered by a male.

[Silver158]

but you can reasonably assume the intent of someone acting violently out of character as long as you've given them that certain label? Like I said, flawed logic.

[jahaims]

If my wife began kicking a car window I could most definitely reasonably assume she does not want to cause me physical harm.

[Silver158]

Dunno about that. Pretty sure most people want to beat some sense into you.

[RagnarRedbeard]

Nah fuck him, he deserved a crack.

[JessieBellll]

Both of you were wrong but you were more wrong

[Silver158]

Yeah he deserved it.