My boyfriend followed a provocative woman on instagram? how can I address this to him?

[kitty_98]

hi i'm sure some girls may have experienced this before

this isn't an issue because insecure. that is not the case. i'm very confident in my looks and personality. nor would i bash these woman for dressing a certain way.

But i find it incredibly tasteless and tacky for a guy to be giving attention, bothering to find a particular instagram account and actually follow it when you have your own girlfriend. my reasons for this is:

1. it's not really an issue if it's a celebrity that has a genuine talent they contribute to society. if this person is famous for nothing but their physical looks it's a clear reason why people follow them. for nothing but their looks.

2. in most cases i know forsure this boyfriend would most definetly not appreciate if i was posing and dressed in a particular way revealing so much of my body for the rest of the world to share. so why my boyfriend they think i would find it any more acceptable when the roles are reversed?

3. I understand we as humans will find other people attractive but there is no need to feed into these actions. i'm not saying you can't look but why do it publicly where i can see it myself? don't feel the need to follow or like and lust over other images of men so i expect the same from my partner.

how can i address this issue without him acting as if i've been stalking through his page because i haven't. things appear on the instagram newsfeed and it just sucks just that hitting you in the face.

some of you guys may justify this buy saying you're lucky he's not talkig to other girls or it's the internet big deal - um my standards may be different and i think that should be respected. i think my explanation is reasonable but i'm just stuck on how i can address this issue to him

[natured]

Well you kinda made me shut up with the last sentence because i am that type that actually doesn't care what a boyfriend does on social media, and if it's in front of you it only shows that HE IS NOT DOING THINGS BEHIND YOUR BACK, he is not stupid, he knows that you can see.

Yes your boyfriend would get jealous if you would show parts of your body, and so would mine, and other boyfriends who care, it's normal...

According to me, if this is such an issues to you, it is better to talk to him, he will appreciate it and i don't think he will get mad actually if your boyfriend is like mine he will just hug and kiss you everywhere, that's what happened to me, and then we had a deep conversation about it and he explained to me that these are just pictures he looks at and he feels the same just as looking at a DOG while scrolling down the Instagram page... basically, he hits the like, then he forgets what he likes after 10 seconds...
in other words... THEY DON'T CARE, HE WANTS YOU and YOU ONLY ;)

Wish you the best luck

[kitty_98]

exactly that's the thing. he definetly knows i can see it. so this is my only reason that is holding me back.

and i noticed a pattern. this ONLY happens whenever he's with his guy friends. so of course i think he feels pressured to act differently, more like them one of the dogs and do it.

because i noticed when he follows them, he eventually unfollows them kind of accounts a few weeks later anyways. it's kind of like me holding my breath.

i feel like the best way to get back rather than caving in and showing i look bothered is just to post cute pictures of myself when i get the chance to (he doesn't like it when my comments are full of guys complimenting me) or when i upload things to social media without showing him first. he definetly gets bothered by that. it's like yes go view my images at the same time as the rest of the basic people lmao.

but if he continues to do it. i will indeed talk to him about it because i will not tolerate that behaviour

[natured]

I understand where you are coming from sweety, and you sure should talk to him if it gets out of hand, he might really feel pressured from his friends.
You are doing the right thing but don't let him show your insecurity even though they are not insecurities directly but men hate these paranoias... Take care

[kitty_98]

thank you for sharing your view :) yeah most of his friends are single so i can see why they would have that gross mindset. if it becomes a repetitive thing that is when i will take action. i want to step back and just see what he does. give it a bit of time

[Gina1094]

Tell him that it bothers you. Explain it to him the way you did here. You made a lot of sense and if people don't understand that then they're idiots. You have high standards, as do I. Nothing wrong with that. Just shows that you know what you deserve and don't let this fuc*** up society make you settle for less. If he can't understand then the reasons your standards are so high it because that's your way of filtering out all the guys that aren't right for you. Keep using that filter and don't let anyone make you think you're wrong for having one. "If you don't stand for something you'll fall for anything." I love that quote. Just always remeber that.

[naomi10wylde]

Simply tell him it makes you uncomfortable and ask him to stop 😊

[kitty_98]

if it continues to happen consistantly that is when i will address it. he knows i can see his activity. i think he just want's a reaction out of me that i won't give

[WalterRadio]

Maybe instead of trying to justify your own disapproval, maybe you should give him some reason not to look elsewhere, such as a nightly naked lap dance?

I don't know what it would take, but if you are so insecure as to want him not to even look at other women, then do something that he only looks at you.

[SirRexington]

Don't apologise for how you feel. What this guy is doing is wrong. You are the girl deserving and worthy of his attention as you are his significant other. If he cannot understand that then I'm sorry but he is no good for you and will likely cheat down the line.

[kitty_98]

thank you for understanding what i have to say. because some guys can get really defensive about things like this. it's like ok go off and continue following an instagram model that doesn't even acknowledge your existence while your girl starts to forget your existence too

[SirRexington]

And why feel the need to look at skanks when there is a perfectly beautiful girl right in front of him he can actually touch. Id be so focused on you I wouldn't even notice other girls to that extent. Sure I might acknowledge in my mind they are attractive but it don't mean nothing.

I mean why date a girl if they don't captivate your attention and make you go wild? The girl they are dating should make them go head over heels. Hence why they're dating them in the first place.
If they don't do that and you're looking at other women then the relationship is a lie.

[kitty_98]

exactly. if only there were more men like you. i'm not saying we shouldn't find other people that aren't are partners unattractive. of course we're bound to. but what is important is how we control it. what need is their to follow or like? what is that achieving?

if a guy say it's not a big deal liking them then why can't he stop? if he want's to continue engaging with those kind of accounts he can gadly do that when he's single and not with me lol.
don't set your bar lower girls. sometimes you're never askig for too much. just asking the wrong person

[SirRexington]

I honestly don't know why I have so many girl problems, which is why I'm on here. Most I converse with seem to get along with me.

I'm thinking it's this backwards state. Guys and girls do not come to South Carolina for love.

[kitty_98]

ok so i told him and he honestly said it shouldn't be such a big deal it's only a celebrity (justin bieber's ex girlfriend lmao wtf) only famous for being someone else's girlfriend ok? i don't care about who the person is - i care about the content they're posing which is nudes and provocative - it's just tacky to be doing that while in a relationship

[SirRexington]

Selena Gomez? I doubt it.

But anyway this guy would be history if I were you.

[kitty_98]

not selena some other instagram famous chick that got with justin apparently. ridiculous

[SirRexington]

Well, I'm sorry your guy did that. But he ain't your guy no more if you took my advice. Time to find a man and not a child.

[kitty_98]

he said he wouldn't mind if i liked other guys pictures and in fact he'd appreciate it with me like? um ok maybe he can do that with me but i most definetly would not tolerate his behavhiour. but getting it off my chest was good regardless whether he wanted to hear it or not. no one should be disrespected in a relationship. and if one feels that you're asking for too much - you're not. you're just asking the wrong person

[martyfellow]

I odnt' know if it's really being unfaithful but it's just dumb to feed into the celebrity worship culture. These women are mostly airbrushing and makeup...

[kitty_98]

exactly, that's another issue like what's the point even sending nudes lmao just oogle at the free access that you have on instagram instead

[SlitherySnake]

Well, just tell him straightforwardly how you feel and what your standards are. I must say I think you're overreacting though. You're obviously jealous and insecure about it. Which is fine. But dont lie to yourself.

[kitty_98]

not necessarily jealous or insecure. i'm the good looking one in the relationship. i have nothing to be threatened about. but i believe in the principle that you shouldn't do something you wouldn't want your partner to do. i know he wouldn't appreciate me lusting over guys so why would he do the same? you understand me? not necessarily the images. it's just the general respect that is gone. doesn't matter how trivial the situation may be

[SlitherySnake]

Oh yes, I understand. I'm the same way. It's about the principle. Talk to him and tell him this.

[Anonymous]

Don't worry dear. Nothing is provocative for a man than dick pics on his gf's phone specially if that dick happens to be way bigger and fatter than his.

So if things go out of control just message me I'll make sure he will be jealous of the pics that I'll send you.

[kitty_98]

dick pics are ugly

[Izumiblu]

Sorry, I don't see how this matters. Do you not have other things to do but monitor his social media?

[cherryxox]

Just let it be. You're his girlfriend he's obviously with you for a reason...

[Levin]

Must. Control. Everything boyfriend. Thinks, says, does.

:P

[kitty_98]

nope just don't want to be taken for a dickhead

[Levin]

Explain?

[kitty_98]

some may say it's controlling. i'm a catch. i know how i deserve to be treated and respected. even the trivial things. if you don't then we're not on the same page. no one is never asking for too much. just asking the wrong person

[Anonymous]

You are insecure asf and in denial 🙄! I read your last questions. You talk about how your basically insecure that he doesn't introduce you to his friends or 'show you off,' takes long to reply to messages... please!

I agree it is tacky, but if u really want to make a change you would be honest with him.

[kitty_98]

oh how society have now confused someone demanding respect with insecurity. If a guy wanted his girlfriend to dress less provocatively when out in public does that make him insecure? No. it just simply means that he doesn't want other guys viewing her as a piece of meat or to look at her in a sexual way. It doesn't mean that he's afraid to lose her.

[Opinion Owner]

You do want respect but this is a cop-out, all your other questions show insecurity. Read your previous questions again.

[Opinion Owner]

If you truly demand respect you wouldn't be a little bitch crying on here, go tell him!

[Opinion Owner]

It's should be so easy to tell him that you saw him following these people and it came up on your feed...

[kitty_98]

i did tell him actually in fact. i asked him how he'd feel with the roles reversed and he definetly re considered his actions... :)

[Opinion Owner]

Well keep being direct to him then!

[singlebee]

Admit it your are jealous and insecure LOL.

He is following don't girl he isn't even find see in real life so let it go... And don't think much about it

[kitty_98]

so you're telling me you'd be happily fine with your girlfriend following loads of good looking handsome guys knowing you can see her activity?

and you'd be totally acceptable of your own girlfriend posing and taking pictures of her ass, in lingerie, bikinis for other guys to look at?

good luck with that.

[singlebee]

Lol of course not I wouldn't let that happen..
But you said your boyfriend only followed one women right?

[kitty_98]

doesn't matter how many people it is. it's best to address it the first instance it starts rather than it becoming an issue later

[singlebee]

Yup that's right

[__Victoria__]

Tell him directly I don't want you to follow them so I unfollow them

[kitty_98]

he's with his guy friends right now. let me bother him about this when he's in a more vulnerable state by himself and not under the influence of his perverted horny single guy friends

[Anonymous]

Wow, been there done that. He more then likley is not going to do anything about it even if you tell him it bothers you. He already disrespected you the min he followed her. The worst is when its several and in the area.

[kitty_98]

it's just tacky and tasteless. especially when it's obvious that i can see it myself. i won't ever talk about these issues over text though. on the phone or in person most definetly. this has only happened once. which is why i'm very irritated. if he was following them before he knew me then that's understandable. but you don't do them things.

[Opinion Owner]

Exactly, its just common sense.

[Anonymous]

He's with you because he can't be with her. If a male model wanted to date you, you would probably do it.

[Taylor59585]

Calmly explain to him that you would prefer if he didn't do that. Honestly he might not care though.

[madhatters4]

i agree that it's tacky

[kitty_98]

very tacky indeed. wouldn't mind if it was like selena gomez, ariana grande or whatever. but it's literally just instagram girls that are only really known for their ass, boobs and provocative images. it's his behaviour i find distasteful. not the girls.

[zombiebabe]

act th same way towards him... problem solved

[kitty_98]

one part of my brain thinks "tell him" and then another side of me is like "nah lets act petty. act like you don't care. it's not like he can ever even get with a girl like that lmao" i'm way ahead of you.

i know that it triggers him if i do that. let me just do the same and let him get a taste of his own medicine and see how he likes it ☺️

[zombiebabe]

yup give him a taste of his own medcine

[kitty_98]

just act like i never saw it... he eventually unfollows them anyways lmao. but if he continues to do it more than once that is when i will talk to him about it

[wittymilf]

Do what the zombiebabe said, guys understand a lot better if you show them how it feels rather than tell them.

[ikissedtheskyonce]

That sounds really insecure 😟

[Anonymous]

He's your boyfriend; not your husband or your son.

[asdsafgdfg]

well said

[Opinion Owner]

@asdsafgdfg :) you must be one of those 0.75% of people in your age group who agrees with me. I couldn't even believe if you meant it :) hehe. Anyway, thank you.

[kitty_98]

if you don't see your boyfriend as a potential husband then you're wasting your own time

[asdsafgdfg]

potential husband doesn't mean he is my husband

[kitty_98]

@asdsafgdfg that's your personal problem

[asdsafgdfg]

who said that is a problem? relax girl

[ShayanMortazavi1998]

Why does it matter?

[kitty_98]

if he's so comfortable doing that openly, what is he doing behind closed doors? finding someone other than your partner is one thing. that's inevitable. but what is tasteless and tacky for any partner is to act on that by following and liking. can you imagine they sifted through a bunch of girls to find a particular one that is aesthetic to them?