My boyfriend brought me around a female friend who tried to hit on him, how should I react?

[victoriaxoxo]

Me and my ex boyfriend from 3 years ago reconciled because we couldn't get over each other. He told me he had a new group of friends and was excited to introduce me to them. One of those friends, however, is a girl he made a pass on some 2 years ago during the time we were broken up. She rejected him and they proceeded to be just friends. I told him that the situation might make me uncomfortable and he straight away offered to cut her off. I said, look let's give her a try.

So we meet her and his other male friend and go out for some drinks. This girl then proceeds to try to flirt with my boyfriend, the other guy and every bartender and bouncer in sight. She often approaches my boyfriend and stares him right in the eyes and asks him things very flirtatiously. Whilst my boyfriend mainly moves away from her, I did catch him starting at her once or twice. However, most of the night is filled with her trying to stand near him and then him moving away to stand near me. It doesn't help that this girl and him are the biggest extroverts and they spent the night chatting, whilst me and the other guy are very introverted. When the night winds down I tell my boyfriend that she makes me uncomfortable but he is very drunk so we proceed to go to our shared Airbnb.

The next morning I wake up and find them downstairs on the opposite sides of sofa chatting which makes me uncomfortable. We wrap up our meeting and go home.

Needless to say me and boyfriend argue over this, he claims that he never noticed her making any advances towards him and offers to cut her off again. I say maybe he didn't intentionally flirt with her but he didn't push her away the way he is supposed to do and he stared at her but he denies staring. At one point he says 'I didn't stare but if I did then I don't get why you can't turn a blind eye'.

The other guy (who's my bfs friend so pinch of salt) says that she did flirt although she is always flirtatious but says my boyfriend didn't flirt back

[BullShark]

There are many ways one might look at it, so I'll explain all of them one by one and then give my final thoughts. Here goes;

First of all, what the other guy said, may be true; that the girl is just the flirtatious type and nothing else. A lot of girls who I know are the same way, and hence, end up attracting a lot of guys towards them. Their outgoing, touchy nature makes them come off as someone who's interested in others, even if that may not always be the case.

As for your boyfriend, now I'm not saying that he's cheating on you with her, but maybe he really wasn't trying to flirt with her and you're misreading the whole thing. Furthermore, as you said, he did like her once so perhaps a small part of him might still have somewhat feelings for her. Again, it's COMPLETELY fine and normal for you to catch feelings for someone else even if you're in a relationship. That's fine. It's human nature to be attracted to more people at once because we all have a certain type we're attracted to. However, what you end up doing with those feelings is what matters most.

So here's my final thoughts: it's fine if you feel some sort of jealousy right now. If my girlfriend and I end up back together (never gonna happen but let's assume) and she tells me she liked a guy once but they were never a thing, and then she invites him over to hangout, I will naturally end up feeling anxious around the guy even if he means no harm. Even if short lived, these two have had history. It's only natural for there to be tension. That right there's your competition.

So what do you do? Be upfront and trust your partner. Now I already clarified that I will NEVER get back with my ex because I simply don't trust her and I never can again, but seeing as how you're together with your S/O, it only goes to show that you both actually do love each other. So trust in him and ask him how he really feels for her. Reassure him that by the end of it all, you still love him and you're fine with his answer. If he says he does like her still, ask him if it'll be a problem between you two if she's around, and then tread appropriately. If he's unsure, create boundaries between yourself and her, and advise him that it's best if they cut off their friendship entirely. If he's sure she won't be a problem, trust in him and let it be.

[Kaneki05]

If she just flirts with anyone that's just who she is and you either accept that as his friend or you make a fuss over it then his choice to do what he wills with that.
And your choice here was to complain about it so then his choice was to say "fine then I will stop be friends with her."
So you should of took that agreement. But since you didn't now she's still around and you still can't accept it so your back to square one.

They can't be that good of friends though or he's just very uncaring because to quickly unfriend someone that easily welp eh. Let's just say I wouldn't do that to a friend of mine.

Also this 'I didn't stare but if I did then I don't get why you can't turn a blind eye' this is a weird thing to say.
Maybe he was trying to say "yeah I may naturally look when there is an attractive girl but it's nothing more than that." but he just said it in weird way.

[likelyOK]

If you guys are officially back together he needs to cut her off period.

[Guy13]

My first reaction is: is he trying to make you or her jealous⁉️

[eagle1951]

say back off bitch

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣