Intense crush and having trouble letting go.

[Anonymous]

I liked this girl a couple years ago a LOT. kind of harshly and it left me so confused and upset. we aren't friends and we don't talk anymore, but even after all of that I find myself still wanting her badly. I couldn't even sleep this last night because I was thinking about her so much and I always wake up thinking about her. I don't know what to even do anymore. I'm really scared that she's the only girl I'll ever want to be with. I just want to show her all my love and I'm sick of just feeling like this all the time. I feel it could really be harmful for finding someone else. I just don't know what I should do anymore. I feel like I'm so in love with someone that will never feel the same for me. I can't stop either. I feel like such a loser. I don't know why I can't just let her go in my mind.

Updates

+1 y

got rejected harshly I mean

[Anonymous]

ive been in that position about a guy though...he led me on for years and he wasn't a huge jerk or anything, he just wasn't the relationship type of guy, he wanted to enjoy being young and wasn't serious about women, he liked partying and being social...we did have something between us, there was an emotional connection, when we met eyes I can't put down to words how it was, but it was amazing, he always respected me and was harmless, but he just never gave me a chance to be his girl, or any girl really. People just called him a big flirt. It hurt really bad, because I loved him and wanted to be part of his world, I could never stop thinking about him and never got over him.

Ive just learned to be patient and let things be. I can't do anything anything else, I tried hard enough to let him know I like him and wanna date him, but he never came after me. So I just stepped away and now we don't even talk anymore. But its okay though, because I would have never been happy with a guy who wasn't crazy about me like I was about him. If he doesn't have any desire to see me and be with me, then there is nothing I can do to change that.

sometimes you have to let it all go and find new inspiration in life, turn to something else to look forward to, like career, new hobbies and focus on your friends and family, because theyre the only people that won't let you down ever.

[cuteshark]

How long ago did this happen?

You could try and reconnect but I see how that could be painful. If it's been a few years and she hasn't shown any signs of having changed her mind I don't think it's worth waiting for her to come to you, because it most probably won't happen.

You have to realize that the way she treated you means that she can't make you happy, and that you deserve to be happy. You need to gradually let go of her because eventually nothing will happen and you deserve to move on and find someone who will appreciate you.

[Asker]

Im finding it impossible to move on though. I literally can't help it. its terrible.

[unsure2009]

i hope you are not offended by this, but maybe you should talk to a counselor about it. air out these feelings for her to someone who as a professional can advise you on how to get over this

because it seems it's kind of paralyzing you from moving on and meeting other girls.

this could really mess with your mind and heart. she already knows how you feel, she rejected you "harshly" as you said, so I doubt there is hope if there is no contact at all.

i wish you luck ... take it easy

[Asker]

Believe it or not, I already have seen a counselor. I have good spells and bad spells, this is probably just another bad spell, but I mean, I haven't met any girls worth getting to in over a year. all the decent girls went away to college while I'm home for college. so that doesn't help either

[brettb]

Im in the same situation. I want to date this girl, but she doesn't want a relationship. I'm falling for her too. Not good. But what you have is an obsession. Its the brutal honesty. Don't be offended though since one of my friends that's a therapists said that obsessions are on the rise. Its what happens when nice, caring guys like us start to fall for one of our friends but we know it might screw stuff up. You still want her so badly because she rejected you. Somewhere when you were friends, you probably wanted to do all you can just to make her smile. Seeing her smile was relief and brightened up your day. That's when you fell for her. She probably gaave you signs that she was happy to be with you but yet you know she doesn't want a relationship with you. What you need to do is put yourself out there more and meet some more girls. There are plenty of nicer girls out there that willl accept you for who you are and won't reject you. For as hard as that sounds you have to do that. You have to go out and meeet other women. Its crazy how mine and your situation is alike but yet I'm telling you advice that I should follow myself.

[Dan2287]

Ive been here before. There was a girl I pretty much fell in love with before we even had a date or even considered each other good friends. She finally gave me a pity date - and this ended badly. I tried asking her out again, she ignored me and so I figured it was time for me to move on.

It took me literally one year to fully recover - but I'm glad I didn't keep trying to bother her anymore. It hurts like hell - nights would go by where I couldn't stop thinking about her, I couldn't go out of the house around young couples because I was thinking about her - very difficult time in my life.

The only thing I can think of doing is to just not contact her anymore and sever any and all ties with her - especially since your not friends with her. If you put so much effort in and she is not reciprocating, your done leave her alone out of respect for her and yourself. It hurts, it sucks, its depressing as hell, but the only thing I can recommend is to move on by getting her out of your life for good. Doing that was very very difficult for me but I'm happy I did

[alltheabove1212]

I agree with the no contact thing. You may think it doesn't affect you when you guys talk for a little, but deep inside it probably gives you a ray of hope (you don't want this feeling).

[lovesickchick10]

That is excactly how I feel right now. Everytime I fall for a guy, I fall hard! But sometimes you just have to realize how much of your life you have wasted on a person who could not care less about you! I mean I wasted three years of my life on this one jerky guy who could care less, and I woke up one day and realized I wasted all of my middle school career on him, and it was rather disturbing, and I was so upset with myself! That helped me get over him alot! Just ask yourself: Does she notice me when I walk by? Does she talk to me? Does she smile at me when she sees me? If your answer is no, then you probaly need to try your best to wake up and smell the roses hun, she is never gonna like you! And that is so hard to realize! It takes awhile for you to truley get over the person, and even after you do they still cross mind on occasion.

best of luck.(:

[walalalaa333]

If you really want her, try getting in contact with her again and see what happens. If you don't do anything, how things are right now, is all it's going to be. I hope it all works out for you

[Asker]

I did all I could for her though. what about "if you love someone let them go and if they come back they're yours?" I put in a ton of effort for her already, should I just wait and see what happens for her or should I try again? I'm so hopeless and confused I don't know what to do. and I don't want to seem weird for caving in and pursuing her again.

[Asker]

I just don't wanna get hurt again. I'm already still in pain and have been for a long time already...

[walalalaa333]

Maybe it would be easier for you if you move on... move on to someone else ?

i just saw the update, if you were rejected harshly, why would you want to be with someone who did that ?

[Asker]

Thats just it... I don't know. but I still do, and I never stop wanting her :(

[walalalaa333]

Why don't you try to talk to her again? so you can find out whether to keep crushing on her or not

[Asker]

I just don't know if it's the right thing to do... :(

[walalalaa333]

Well it wouldn't be the wrong thing to do either..

at least it'll give you a peace of mind after

[Asker]

Honestly I really don't know if it would.

[walalalaa333]

I was just reading some of the other responses and, if your always trying to find another person, your not going to find her. They usually come when you least expect it. <-- iunno that's just how it is with me. So I don't know if it applies to you too

[mlrock]

You and I are in the same boat, the difference is I never had the chance to tell her how I felt.

[Asker]

Yeah it sucks... I just don't know what I should do, because I mean, I don't know how I'm gonna get ahold of her again, if I even want to get ahold of her again, and I mean, she rejected me already. but I just can't get over her I don't know why.

[Anonymous]

I feel the same way about a guy that I like and it all started when he started showing signs that he liked me..its been 2 and a half years since I first met him but I moved a year ago.we never really talked in person but we started to online..hes really confusing me and said that he just wanted to be friends but I can't let go either no matter how hard I try..