How to approach a random girl and actually get a date?

[Anonymous]

Just as the title says. What can a shy guy do to approach women and actually get dates.

[superdudeman]

A shy guy CANT get a date.

That's like asking, how a shark can eat a lifeguard when he's walking on the beach.

Its just not done. he's a shark. he's going to have to wait till he gets in the water.

When you approach a random girl, you are hence, doing something that a shy guy does not do.

Shy guys don't just approach random women. If they did, they wouldn't be shy.

You can't "be yourself" at that point because women don't like shy men. they dont, no matter how much they tell you that, they just DONT.

You can't be yourself because yourself sucks.

And if being yourself worked to get you women, it would have done so by now.

Which means you have to put up a front,

(and everyone does, no one meeting for the first time, and I mean NO ONE shows their true self at first, you don't meet "them" you are actually meeting their representative.)

Unfortunately your front, the person you are portraying to the woman is going to be really bad at it, and your going to have to fire your representative a few times until you find one that APPEARS to be genuine.

And only through practice and approaching women over and over again can you get used to it.

Practice won't make perfect mind you, but at least you will be more comfortable with approaching in general.

Keep in mind your approach should be about YOU not them. Meaning you are doing it for your enjoyment, you are NOT trying to "get" them. Rather you are simply enjoying yourself and the goal is not to get them rather the goal is simply to converse and have a good time.

Bottom line is to have fun and never ever show your cards, never ever show them that you actually like them, because once you do, you will ether be:

A: Creepy (this comes from showing interest too early)

B: Boring. (this comes from showing interest -whenever- Which means you are doing what 99% of most guys do and its predictable)

C: Not attractive. (if you are not building attraction you are killing it) which means at BEST you are going to be seen as a friend, I.e. not attractive.

do that and you'll be fine.

[Musclecarman]

Good one.

[TC123]

First off, take decent care of yourself. Do sit ups and push ups every morning, pay attention to hygene, floss, whatnot. It really helps. Lots of guys just rinse off and hit the road but unless you're naturally good looking or wealthy that doesn't work. So get a sense of style.

What to say? Just say hi and make small talk. Give her some space, smile, etc. If you don't know what to talk about just ask her if she's from around there & say you're looking for a good place for lunch, someplace fun to go, bike shop, anything. If she seems positive and friendly then ask her if she'd like to do something with you sometime.

Finally, accept that most women will reject you - if I had to put a number to it I'd say about 1:10 are actually datable. Some are taken, some won't be attracted to you, and lots are just plain bitchy. So don't get discouraged.

Once you get a date, be forward - hold her hand on the first date, kiss the second, sex the third. If nothing happens on the first three dates then she doesn't want you, keep in touch but start looking again.

[flyboy_o3]

You're the mack daddy Sir..

[hawaiianbeautyxo]

Be genuine, don't pull the I'm so cool I'm going to ignore you or treat you like ass lines because... well that won't get you any or anywhere. Don't use a line or a gimmick because all girls while some are actually flattering we know its a game or a ploy. You guys don't like to be played with and toyed with neither do we... so we like genuine be who you are. If you're clutsy and you try to hide it you're going to be more nervous and more clutsy... we pick up on little things.

But in all honest just be genuine don't use a line or a gimmick or try to be the biggest jerk in the room. Be genuine and be confident and approach a girl with the right intentions and I promise you if you don't get the date you'll get a good conversation.

[superdudeman]

Id like to know what your definition of "genuine" is.

[hawaiianbeautyxo]

genuine... be who you are. don't try to be someone else give genuine compliments don't make them forced or bs. its really not hard to be genuine you just say what you feel.

[superdudeman]

Unfortunately when men are "genuine" they are either 2 things.

A: Genuinely an asshole.

B: Genuinely creepy.

Either the guy is an a-hole, and just says "wanna f?" which is what is on his mind because hey, that's what he wants, cause he's an ahole, when really if he just put up a front, he's more likely to get laid.

OR

B: the nice guy who, says "hey I really like you" which women interpret as "stalker" and creepsville.

Both don't work.

[hawaiianbeautyxo]

thats not necessarily true... if a guy comes up to me and says wanna f then he lacks one thing... TACT see being genuine doesn't mean that you can say anything you please... while you have freedom of speech it doesn't mean that you get to do and say as you please. being genuine means you still need charisma and tact.

a guy is only a creepy stalker if he says that and keeps lurking. if a girl shows no interest you are better off without her.

[eve16]

Be friendly, but genuine. Us girls can usually tell if a guy is trying too hard. Just try to relax and believe in yourself(lol kinda cheesy). It is important to know that even if you get rejected, at least be proud that you had the guts to go & talk to her.

[superdudeman]

which means that you can't really be geniune if you really want her. Because if being geninue is showing that you really like her, and she can sense that, she's going to think you are trying to hard, and thus you get rejected.

[eve16]

I guess I meant he shouldn't be overly friendly. Fakeness.

[superdudeman]

One mans genuine interest is another mans interpretation of "fake".

[superdudeman]

Also especially when the guy is attractive, most women will interpret genuine interest as fake.

Or simply put him in a box and label him "player" and then feel good about not being a notch on his bedpost. Meanwhile this good looking guy hasn't been laid in 50 years because most women do that.

[eve16]

oh, I get what you're saying.

[Musclecarman]

If you mean trying to chat a girl up for 5 or 10 minutes. Just be natural, making sure you pick one who shows more than one signs of interest helps too. Be prepared to be rejected a lot nothing against you but many girls prefer to know the guy somewhat before they date him,which requires more than 5 minutes of chatting ;)

[hibobimbobbi]

If a guy I didn't know came up to me, I wouldn't think about going on a date with them until I got to know them. I'd also want to know if their shy. Be sincere and admit that you're shy and maybe don't approach or talk to women often.

[superdudeman]

that doesn't work.

9 times out of 10 its a fake number.

[Anonymous]

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