Guys, what do you think of girls who are surrounded by a lot of men?

[HopeIessRomantik]

She could be either 'one of the guys' and/or just extremely attractive that many men throw themselves at her. Either way, does that intimidate you from approaching her?

I have more male friends than female, however my best friends are all female. I had one friend who said he didn't want to meet/hang out with my other male friends as he felt that there was competition... is this really the case? I can think of the other reasons.. Please vote and explain :)

Thank you :)

She's a flirt/heartbreaker, she only wants their attention.

Cool girl to be friends (ONLY) with.. too much competition.

Bring the competition on. She's only around so many guys since they all think they have a shot with her.

[Anonymous]

I am a girl for a start but I'll still answer anyway :P I'm assuming you meant having lotsa male friends and being very popular here, instead of literally surrounded by a lot of men in classes, pubs, clubs, parties etc. (coz that'd probably will freak her out unless she craves attention from guys)

1) I wouldn't know for sure how guys would think about the question you asked, but one of my best guy mates would answer "yes there is too much competition" and he won't have the courage to pursue her. In a more severe case, they wouldn't even have the guts to approach her. Generally, best guess on what do men think of girls who are surrounded by a lot of men depends on (i) the girl in person (ii) how confident they are in approaching the girl and what sorta person he is. If the girl is a very popular, socializing girl, then probably the guys who are shy will be friendly but intimidated to be close to her, whereas the know-how-to-socialize-and-wants-to-be-popular-and-cool dude will approach her and give her a go. But still, they will judge the girl based on her reputation and what they have heard about the girl.

2) Yeah, sometimes guys would think of it that way. But we may never know and best leave it as it is :)

[Anonymous]

I noticed guys are always put off by that, I have only guy friends mostly. so its guys and me and my other friend. We are just friends, with the guys just our crew. And the couple of guys that seen me or when come hang out or pick me up and see it's mostly guys all the time. Well it never goes well, I get comments : guys and girls really can't b friends secretly they like you, he must like you which one likes you? you know one of you will fall for each other etc, and they all think you are hot that's why it's all guys etc. just so many insecure questions it get's annoying, b.c. I would never date any of them nor do we flirt. NOW if a guy had all girls as friends I don't think I would care, but I would totally observe him and watch how they talk and behave, if there is a little bit cuteness or flirting I would not like that. I guess now I see why those guys acted like that lol oops. well my opinion is don't not trust a girl or not bother with her just b.c. she has more guy friends. The reason I have guy friends only is b.c. I got f***ed over with girls too catty and guys are just so simple to b friends with.

[Anonymous]

all my university friends are guys, we go out drinking and stuff regularly but that's all it is with me. I'm not sexually interested in them and I feel its the same for them, we are just good mates and get on. they have girlfriends and I have a boyfriend, I just happen to be the only female in the friendship group. its never felt weird.

[Yeahhbro]

this is a great question, I always wanted to know this as well from other guys point of view congrats!. This was tough to answer because she might not only be really good looking, she might have a really really good. awesome personality and that is extremely attractive...at least to me. I would think that a girl like that will probably have a lot to choose from though, so she probably might be really picky with who she chooses; simple economics you know: The higher the supply the lower the price the more purchasing power that buyers have (in this case her). I would think also that she probably likes guys of her group of buddies, me being an outsider I don't think will be much of attractiveness there and well there are some physical factors as well. So in brief my answer is B.

[HopeIessRomantik]

haha Thank you :) I like your economics answer hahahaha! I do find that I am quite picky .. you might be right !

[amatuer_zombie]

I guess most men think that she might have a boyfriend in that group

but most of the times you discover that all are her friends or so called 'orbiters' who think they can befriend her and then have a chance...Poor guys...sadly it doesn't work like that.

So it actually doesn't quite intimidate me.

@Question asker:

You have to ask yourself...Do you want a guy who is a p**** and thinks you intimidate him or someone who just goes for it and is confident enough?

[HopeIessRomantik]

Good for you :) Yeah none of those guys I'd think are dating material. They're just really fun company and a nice break from girls and gossip and drama. I'd also prefer the confident guy of course!

[rdr005]

I voted A, but it depends on the situation. In many cases, if a girl is attractive, she can't help that guys will try to talk to her and such. But even then, unless she's encouraging it in some manner or another, there won't be that many guys. A girl that isn't looking for attention will typically talk to maybe one or two guys, stick with their girls, and blow off the other guys, keeping the talk to a minimum. If guys are sticking around, its probably because, they think they have a shot, and because she's making them feel as though they do.

[HopeIessRomantik]

I hope I don't come off that way, as I feel like I don't even communicate with them besides in person or to text to set up get togethers. I am a really nice person so some guys think (those who don't know me well enough) that I might like them or I'm flirting... which is unfortunate :(

[rdr005]

I failed to finish my complete thought on this actually. Now that you mention it. Sometimes there are genuinely just cool girls out there that get along with everyone, so naturally (again) guys will throw themselves at her, but if she can just stay chill and not feed into the idea of excessive flirting, then its all good. I don't mind being friends with a cool girl like that, but if I see a lot of guys around her, I tend to just avoid it anyway; I hate to feel like the odd one out.

[Otismerc]

Here's the thing guys and women can't be only friends, one or the other has feelings for the other they aren't being honest. You literally cannot be around opposite sex that much and not have some sort of history. She refused him or he her and they said let's be friends. In reality that is not really the case, given a particular situation and right circumstance, one decides to change a little and create some sort of sexual tension and the other goes from friends to instant into them. So no guy should trust a woman's statement we are "just friends" I never believe that and wouldn't be with a woman who had male close friends seen it before. They are an ex 9/10 and that means there is potential to rekindle old flames.

[thisGUYknows]

back in high school there was like 9 of us guys and two girls. the other girls used to talk trash on them but they didn't care. they said they like hangin out with us cause there's no drama and we make jokes and laugh all the time instead of talkin about "stupid girl crap" we saw them as one of us. but their boyfriends never lasted too long. I'm sure we were one of the issues.

[HopeIessRomantik]

Those are some insecure boyfriends xD

[Otismerc]

No put yourself in those guys shoes, a guy with many girls hanging around him is what? Desirable correct? He says they are only friends, you believe that do you? You think those ladies have no attraction to him or not an ex? Exes are dangerous to a relationship and having them right there are you kidding? In secure? That is literally asking to say yeah you can have my man at anytime we fight or he is hurt by me. You won't mean to hurt him but if she is there and has her ear she might act with his vulnerability. Samething applies, it has nothing to do with insecure most people who don't take time to deal with unresolved issues in getting over an ex only transfer those feelings to the next person cause they aren't emotionally ready. The project their anger on to them and potentially their attraction. Something happens like a fight they are right back and that person is in that group. You think failure ain't in the works?

[ItalianBro]

I would never approach a girl if she was around her friends if they were guys or girls. When I talk to the girl I want her to be honest and if her friends are their than there is a chance she will reject just because her friends are with her. If anything after talking I would pull the girl off to the side when asking her out or getting her number.

I also find that if she has a boyfriend my chances decrease even more when she is with her friends. She would never flirt if her friends watched because of the fear of her boyfriend knowing. If I approached her alone than even if she had a boyfriend I could still get close, without her pushing me away.

[TheGodEmperorLeto]

Choices aren't really good imo I'd say "she probably has a lot of cool qualities we guys like" i.e. similar interests (games or whatnot) and also "but she might not really be interested in a relationship or might just be picky in that regards." I dunno. Wouldn't bother me too much, but it'd confuse me in some ways.

[Longshot]

There may be some guys who would rise to the challenge. However, if a female is surrounded by lots of guys allthe time there is a "why bother" factor. If you know you are going to be one of a dozen guys looking to get a girl's attention, is it worth it?

[ap1100]

Personally, I find it annoying. Anyone who has dozens and hundreds of friends, in my opinion, has superficial relationships. I can barely manage having 6 or 7 close friends and find time to spend with them.

It's true many of the guys want to get with her, and if you break through, you feel good about it, but is that the dynamic you want?

[HopeIessRomantik]

I agree. Too many friends are hard to handle. But I didn't mean like a swarm of people :) let's say a group of 5 or 6 friends hanging out. Thanks for your input !

[Otismerc]

She has no value in herself, she needs their attention to boost her ego, likelihood she had too many secual partners and low esteem, and self worth. Chances are she is clingy, needy, feels entitled if you don't give her what she wants there's plenty of guys who will. She believes affection comes in forms of gifts and materialistic things and believes she shouldn't have to earn anything they put her on pedestal like she is a queen and shower her with gifts to out compete the next guy. I ain't looking for a woman who needs lots of attention, who can't treat me as her equal and walk beside me. I leave them alone to me undesirable

[Littletad]

It's a drawback for many guys for sure. The last thing we want to think about, is how many guy friends you've got or how many people we have to compete with. More often than not, you might be overlooked simply because of this. It's a silly issue, but the truth.

[meoww]

That's bullsh*t. All my best friends are guys, but that's just because I get along with guys better than girls. Most girls I meet are extremely melodramatic and just not into the same stuff as me (eg: Tarantino movies!). Now I finally understand why I had so much trouble getting a boyfriend!

[BigMrZ]

I don't judge till I've gotten to know her as a person first, but when she pulls a "chase-me-no-wait-stay-away" I get annoyed.

I voted A: because it seems to happen to me the most.

[bbgun]

Well firstly I would see if she notices me...if not why bother but if she looks interested or something of that sort I would definitely take my chance but I would be smart and make friends with her friends first and let them introduce me to her.that way I would dodge a fight and find out if she is in a relationship before I make a fool out of myself otherwise I just made allot of friends :)

[goldrocks123]

I really liked a girl who was exactly like this, she told me she couldn't be with me because of one guy then went out with another then DATED another all in a week and half time frame... So my advice, unless she really is ''one of the guys'' stay away!

[sinful1620]

There's a difference between having male friends and being "surrounded by a lot of men".

[HopeIessRomantik]

Well I mean it both ways. :) If I'm not getting it, please tell me the difference haha

[sinful1620]

If a girl is comfortable with guys she meets and befriends them, then I'm not going to care (but it will get annoying as all your male friends on some level want to bang you, so I may have to fight through the jealous "friends").

If a girl is comfortable with guys because she likes the attention, and so she keeps guys around by giving them attention and leading them on, then she's the bottom of the female ladder.

[SocietysBomb]

theres a female ladder? whos at the the top?

[HopeIessRomantik]

Personally, I befriend guys a lot easier than girls, since there is less drama and guys are just a lot easier to get along with. No I don't do it for attention. Half of them are in relationships, and I still hang out with them as some of them I'm really close to. And it happens that I'm usually the only girl with them when we go out to restaurants and parties. So what do you think of that kind of girl?

[sinful1620]

at the top? Girls who treat men truly as equals

[sinful1620]

if you do it because there's less drama than with girls, then it's all good

[Anonymous]

A combo of both A and B

[Cartiphilus]

I chose 'B'.