Is being too straightforward when flirting okay?

Question

I'm not saying I like throw myself at guy. I mean like catching him off guard. Or approaching him when he's with his friends.

markml · Accepted Answer

Being straightforward with a guy is seldom bad...we guys appreciate it!

If you catch a guy off-guard, he may be a little distracted and not immediately comprehend that you're flirting with him. So don't expect that he'll immediately turn around and drop whatever he's doing.

Also, if he's shy, he may not respond the way he'd want to otherwise. So you could leave an impression on the guy, but also leave not knowing what that impression was...because the guy wasn't expecting you to just come up to him, so he wasn't in flirtation mode.

If he's with his friends and stops what he's doing to chat with you, that means you've got his attention and he's probably also interested in you. Also, if the friends know what's good for them, they will drop out.

Guys are for the most part not good multi-taskers. They can't juggle whatever they're doing with their friends, or whatever else is going through their minds, and a girl at the same time. The GOOD news is that once you've got a guy's attention, you've generally got his full attention.

But if the guys tries to multi-task when he sees you, he kinda fails. He may not even remember to ask for your number, or whatever else he would normally try to do if he could focus. As long as you're okay with that, there is no harm in approaching a guy out-of-the-blue.

It won't give a bad impression to the guy. It will either be a very positive impression or a neutral impression at worst. And in general, it's certainly not going to be a worse impression than if you waited for him to approach you. He may feel a little less confident because you caught him off-guard, but that's not going to make him think negatively of you unless you give him a really hard time and are mean to him.

About what ArtistBboy said, this is true to a very limited extent. You don't want to come off as the kind of girl whose flirting can't be taken seriously, but there are also a lot of dangers in being too indirect! Women especially tend to be more indirect than direct. Making random comments around people is also not as good as approaching someone directly. Whether you're a guy or a girl, being direct has a lot of advantages. There is a distinction between being direct and being fake though. Fake is when you're flirting in such an exaggerative way that the guy couldn't possibly take you seriously because he barely knows you. But just trying to get to know someone is not fake, because all of us single people are trying to find someone. And when you are actually starting to develop feelings for a guy, showing those feelings is not fake either. There is nothing "classy" about pretending you're not looking for a relationship when you are...that part of his answer I don't really understand. There are so many girls who aren't even single who flirt in some form, and if you're too indirect, you could easily get mistaken for one of those girls. Just be honest...you're not looking to date every guy, but you are looking to find a guy to date.

ArtistBboy · Accepted Answer

From my experience, being direct with flirting can backfire unless you know what to say or what to do in many versatile situations.. Instead, I just encourage people to use their natural way of conversating with people.. Try to walk into different conversations at the store or in other aspects of life and find points where you can comment on what's being said, or otherwise.. Having that ability will make you look a lot more classy, in the sense that the people who "flirt" are obviously looking for a relationship... Just being a good conversationalist is usually enough to get you noticed, and if you want to find the right guy, you don't want to be flirting with every single guy until you find him.. Doing that will make you look like a potential "player" (for lack of a better word)

~ ArtistBBoy

Rose321 · Accepted Answer

I think if I was a guy I would like that. It shows you have guts and you know what you want. (him) and aren't afraid of going after it. I did the same with my bf.