I always feel like I am bothering her?

[Anonymous]

I'm always afraid of talking to this one girl I like, because I always feel like I am bothering her. Whenever we do talk, we have really good conversations, but I can never get this idea out of my head that I'm a nuisance. Sometimes when I text her, she won't respond, or if I message on Facebook she'll be on for a while and then sign off without responding. When she does respond, then we talk for a long time.

Anyone else ever feel like this? also girls, if a guy messages you on facebook chat, and you don't respond, is it because you don't like him, or because their could have been a glitch and you never got the message?

[ArtistBboy]

The only time your going to be "bothering girls" is when your either:

A) Clueless of how to be a man

- Like when your thinking about how your bothering her.. Your not going to be focusing on how much fun you guys could be having, or how you could be getting to know her. In turn, she's gonna catch on to how your "choking up" and it's gonna become a bit awkward. Some girls do this silence thing on purpose, as an attempt to judge your interest.. If you re-initiate the conversation, then she can see that your really interested about her. But if you just give up and go home, she can see that you were just wanting someone to shoot-the-sh*t-with.

B) When you are self-destructive

- Talking about dramatic topics (being a whiny baby) has the most powerful approach to getting you rejected. If you start a topic like: "God today was boring, how are you".. The person is gonna be like: "Oh sh*t" and hit the X button before they get involved in being your therapist / personal entertainment

C) When you start an open ended topic with no direction

- The classic, "Whats up" text message goes down in the hall of blame for this one.. That's like saying: "hey! I have nothing better to do than approach countless hundreds of people, in hope that someone will have fun with me". It's just the feeling behind what's actually going on. No true lady wants to start the conversation, she wants to be guided into a fun, interesting, and light topic which you both can enjoy.

etc

So.. in short.. Break your habit man. Get out there, see new people, try new things, and see if you can "notice" what this girl of your interest is really into. Especially with her having a facebook page, you've got a ton of the work already taken care of. From here, it's a walk in the park. Just start a topic of relevant interest that you can speak to her about. Like if you notice she spoke about going to concerts alot.. "Hey, I haven't really gone to any good concerts. What do you think about the ones in this area?"... She might respond with something short: "Oh their cool, I mean.. fine for me atleast".. And in which you continue them: "Alright cool, so when are you taking me? :P"... Keep it upbeat and fun man.. This is what gets you invited out more often. If she starts to ignore you, or doesn't write back within a minute, say something like: "I overstep boundaries a lot, like the boundaries right there, and.. I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable?"... It shows her that your not a creep, easy as that.

All this, you will learn. Just give it time and pay attention to the FEELING behind what is truly going on.

~ ArtistBBoy

[ShootingStar5]

As long as you're not texting, calling, and FB IMing her 24/7 I'd say you're fine. Sometimes I have my Facebook up in the background or while I left the room, so I'm not actually paying attention to it. That could be why she's not responding. She does eventually respond to you though, and when she does you have a good conversation, so I'd say you're on the right track.

Just don't ever send more than two messages before getting a reply back. That's my general rule of thumb...

[Bombshell13]

I feel like all the time. I'm pretty sure he doesn't like me so I always feel like I'm begging for scraps when I text or message him. Honestly, guys do message me a lot on fb and I ignore it. If I had a crush on him there's not way I'd ignore it though.