What's his deal? One minute he's acting like he likes me the next I can't even be bothered with!!!

[amber622]

I've been hanging out with this guy on and off for about 2 years now. He seems to only come around when he feels like it and we only hang out when he wants to. He kisses me on the forehead, we cuddle and he tells me he likes me, but he isn't looking for a relationship and I have respected that.

But I am getting very aggravated with him only coming around when he feels like it! Why do people do this? I don't because I find it very disrespectful, but I'm sure both men and women have this behavior.

Should I just start ignoring his texts and act like I don't care anymore? I really like him, but in the end he always leaves me feeling horrible about myself or the whole situation in general. Should it be this hard to just say "forget it" to a guy who acts like this, or do other people have this problem too..?

Updates

+1 y

The smallest advice would help! Even just a "ya I've been there too."

[Rockinroller]

I think the tough thing about this situation is that it makes you feel like you're being used and you aren't good enough. The thing you have to remember is that this is entirely his problem. He's a needy guy and just decides he's going to use other people to fill in his emotional holes when he needs it without giving anything back.

So unless you consider yourself a Mother Theresa who generously donates her emotional energy without expecting anything in return, you should not hang out with him. The thing that makes it hard is that you do get a little bit back in the satisfaction that he desires you some of the time, but it really only makes it worse, because you lose that and more after he leaves.

If you do stop hanging out with him, he may suddenly start liking you more and giving you more attention, but if I were you, I'd find somebody more mature instead, or just wait until this guy grows up a little bit.

[amber622]

Yeah I recently told him I was done with the head games and told him how I truly felt about the whole situation. I think by the end of me spilling everything out on how I felt and how the situation made me feel I left him feeling like an asshole. Which is fine with me, so at this point I'm moving on and not looking back to see if he's coming because I don't care anymore :)

[cgall1]

hi , there are a lot of people like this , just ignore his texts for a while and his real feelings for you will show , if he really likes you , he will be the one who comes running you , when he does ignore him , you will find out how he really feels about you ,

[Blackroses11]

I have experienced a guy friend who tends to act like he's in love with me and then the next he acted like he can't be bothered with me, I guess it's there way of making sure your 'addicted' to them. So, they tend to do the 'hot' and 'cold' scenario. They tend to be close and then the next they act distant in order for you to want them.

It's really annoying, but ignoring him and acting like you don't care doesn't help at all,

I know from experience and it didn't help, sure it did get his attention but it clearly did anger him. But I guess it was a taste of their own medicine to ignore them back slightly.

Yes it is hard to say 'forget it' as when they're close to you we tend to savour their attention, but when they distance themselves it makes you 'miss' or crave their attention.

[amber622]

Do you have any advice on what I should do then since ignoring and acting like I don't care helps.. Probably just let him go then?

[Blackroses11]

Talk to him and ask him what's up. It makes the situation a lot less painful and fast if you're honest about it. If he's not interested you'll know and won't have to waste time torturing yourself over whether he likes you or not. This way you have a reason not to blame yourself or feel horrible about the situation.

[Yurippe]

I've been in a similar situation, and personally, I decided to not contact the guy anymore, which means almost no contact at all as he rarely contacts me. But it doesn't bother me when I don't see him, while seeing him just aggravates me.

Seriously, you're worth more than that. Just stop playing his game the way he wants you to.