There are a couple of possible reasons for this behavior.
1. There is a possibility that the girls are actually flirting with you because they find you attractive, and are trying to express their interest in you by flirting with you. I would give this a roughly 2% probability, which would go up to around a 10% if you are 8/10 physically attractive or better, and as high as 20% if you are 10/10.
2 If you go to the same Starbucks every day or regularly, they may have gotten to feel more comfortable with you and are being friendly. This is more likely and reasonable than the idea that they are attracted to you, which as I illustrated, is unlikely. This also ties into the final and most likely reason...
3. They are working as servers in a service industry. They were specifically hired in part based on their looks and personality, in order to draw in and retain customers and leave customers feeling good and satisfied about their experience. One very simple way to do this is to hire physically attractive people to be kind and flirt with your customers, who will also leave larger tips as a result of their egos being satisfied. It feels good to have an attractive person flirt with you, it makes you feel attractive and valued. When you are feeling this way, you are likely to be more generous with your tips and you are more likely to return for more of these same feelings of increased self worth.
Not that most people are so logical and methodical about it. They are probably just nice girls who got hired because they are nice and they are just being naturally nice, it's not some plot to mess with you.
This past Tuesday I got my normal order at Tijuana flats and asked for no tomatoes. The girl ringing me up said she didn’t like tomatoes also in a way that one might interpret was flirting as she didn’t have to be that personal. I gave her a $20 bill and asked for only $9 back so that they are tipped. She apologized and handed me all singles as her drawer was low on $5s. I told her it’s ok but I’m not taking my shirt off (light joke). Both her and the other cashier laughed; again could be seen as flirting. Then when she asked for my drink I told her what I wanted and said no tomato (it’s a callback). At which point she repeated exactly what she said before about not liking tomatoes herself.
I tell you that story because any thoughts of her flirting were busted when she repeated her dislike of tomatoes. It was obvious she was in work mode, I was a customer, and her mind was elsewhere. She still provided customer service but she’s not there to flirt.
They are been friendly & if there's nobody there/a slow day they're striking up a simple conversation to waste some time.
I mean if you had to serve coffee for 8 hours a day to sometimes ass-hole patrons with an at times ass-hole boss/supervisor wouldn't you want to chitchat with someone who isn't?
They say normal things in special ways sometimes but its at most supposed to just be a nice friendly experience to get you back for more. Cute voices, flirty voices are more than enough to get virgins or really any customers hooked. Even I rather go to starbucks just because the chances of talking to a cute stranger is more appealing than going anywhere else for overpriced beverages. We can flirt back and forth and just tease. Used to get hella freaked out with it but once I played with it just is a fun back and forth. I took the lid off my frap and sucked up all the whip cream while looking directly at her with an eyebrow up. You'd have to see it I guess but almost choked and was quite hilariously stupid fumbling a bit with the cream. She laughed and seemed to love it so worth it haha
She wasn't really flirting BUT when I was 20s I had a service industry worker literally beg me to ask her out after flirting with me on multiple different visits. She was alway trying to start something. I got her contact info and called her. She sounded cold. Later on she spread rumors on her job that I was sexually harassing her. Mind you, I never even chased her like that at all. Another time a woman told me all about her personal life (without me asking). The second I politely asked for her contact stuff she says, "I don't get personal with customers!" After that I never took any of these workers seriously, ever. I don't care if she sits in your lap just laugh at her and throw her off.
Just saying, I wouldn't even go there if they do flirt.
Yeah, it's really crazy when you spend your entire life being treated like a piece of shit by women and then a woman acts all friendly and you're like, "What the fuck was that all about?"
This happens to me all the time. I don't know what the fuck they're thinking but if you're gonna treat guys like shit for the first 30 years of their life, then you should keep that same energy.
Don't just decide, "oh, today I'll be nice to men." Fuck you! I don't need your fucking niceness. You can go back to being a bitch for all I care.
Thats called customer service. They want you to tip them well and come back.
My boyfriend used to work there and said that all the tips they get the more is shared amongst all the staff. I mean it could be geninue and probably are flirting a little, but a good portion of the time they are just doing their job.
They're not necessarily flirting, just being nice. I don't know enough psychology to tell whether or not you interpret it as flirting because you find them attractiive...
This question makes me think of that cute barista at a local coffee shop. I wonder if she still works there... (DM me if you want background on that)
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Anonymous
1 y
As someone who works in a similar industry, I'm really sorry to break it to you but 9 times out of 10 they are probably just being nice rather than flirting. Our shifts can be really long sometimes so chatting can make it go quicker and it is also often seen as polite and good customer service to ask about your day. Don't get flirting and decent manners mixed up.
Hate to burst your bubble but they are taught to be flirty Cuts down on complaints Who wants to report some one they like phone makes you so welcome You jave to go back
It's pretty common in shops like that where if you have to wait in the drive-thru line, they'll try to start up a conversation in order to distract you from the delay. They want favorable reviews and tips.
You'll notice this almost never happens if you physically go inside a store and order within, because instead youve got padded chairs and a cell phone to pass the time.
Dont listen to the people saying they are just friendly. If you were an ugly old fart they wouldn't do they. They are flirting because they are confident and comfortable around you. They may have a crush. They like being horny and flirty but it doesn't mean they want the fantasy as reality.
Cognitive distortion to assume it's flirting. Maybe someone is, but more likely to be customer service and wanting the tip jar filled.
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Quidthonian | 68 opinions shared on Flirting topic.
Yoda
1 y
They want you to come back the next time. I don't think it's anything personal or sexual. It could be just marketing: sex sells. They are giving you a good experience, so that you don't go to their rivals.
How you can really know a girl likes you? Every girl is different, but if the question "are you single?" appear, that's a sign. Another sign is the amount of time she is willing to pass with you, and her corporal language; if she plays with her hair, or touch her hair, wile you are with her, if she smiles, gives a direct and indirect eye contact.
Where do guys get this idea that when a girl touches or plays with her hair it's a sign that she likes you? We do it when we're studying, thinking, etc. It doesn't mean attraction to someone. We smile because we get criticized if we don't. We look you in the eye when you're speaking to us because that's just polite manners.
@dianagirl They were like examples. Like I said, every girl is different and if your social skills are not well develop (beside of your emotional intelligence) you'll never catch up to obvious signs of someone wanting to have a relationship with you.
Honestly no one's trying to pick you up whilst at work. They just put on a fake friendly act and then get paid and go home. Would you rather them say "fuck off and take your coffee " because i imagine that's what they are thinking behind the smile 😂
Asker
1 y
It's just the way they say it. They are asking me where am I going and stuff.
Once time in my favorite restaurant (Wierzynek) I poured off wine on my white, cotton trousers and linen shirt. Then a waitress told ,, you can always undress it,,. What she meant? I was whole face red.
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