So, I am not very good at being social but I am improving. What I've realized is that;
If and when I do relax enough to be myself and talk to people they tend to interpret it as me flirting. I was unsure if this was imaginary for a long time but now I am sure since last job I had the girls/boys was ruthless about me like flies on a corpse.
Don't get me wrong, it's very validating and feels good but I just need to keep my job and I am not smooth or experienced enough to handle emotions at work (witchhunt trauma, I get paranoid about it repeating). Besides I get put in a players category because they assume I am flirting with everything.. but I am not sure what it is that I do that makes it so.
Usually when I talk I vary eyecontact with looking out and about while thinking about my next words, but I always come back to the eyes/face for social ques.
I generally care about people and I might be a bit too nice at times. I am service-minded by nature and don't mind oiling the 'proffesional machine' by trying to up the teamplay.
I am very observant due to my anxiety. I listen carefully and pay attention to my surroundings. I pick up on people's moods a lot and try to be positive while understanding.
But I am not overly social at work, actually sort of quiet. I am too much in a serious mood to be relaxed enough to talk smalltalk-trash while working, also not very good at it. So it's all action except for with costumers, then I for some reason snap into 'social mode' and am very talkative with humor and all.
There are ofc occations when I meet people that I 'click' with which means I have sprawling humor and lot's of social intrigue with them specifically.
I am guessing that maybe the quietness, nervousness and bouts of talkative extroverted moments along with being keen an observant might paint a mysterious picture that gains traction as co-workers talk rumors.. but I'm not sure. I rarely try to be flirtatious but people still try to complicate my work.
If and when I do relax enough to be myself and talk to people they tend to interpret it as me flirting. I was unsure if this was imaginary for a long time but now I am sure since last job I had the girls/boys was ruthless about me like flies on a corpse.
Don't get me wrong, it's very validating and feels good but I just need to keep my job and I am not smooth or experienced enough to handle emotions at work (witchhunt trauma, I get paranoid about it repeating). Besides I get put in a players category because they assume I am flirting with everything.. but I am not sure what it is that I do that makes it so.
Usually when I talk I vary eyecontact with looking out and about while thinking about my next words, but I always come back to the eyes/face for social ques.
I generally care about people and I might be a bit too nice at times. I am service-minded by nature and don't mind oiling the 'proffesional machine' by trying to up the teamplay.
I am very observant due to my anxiety. I listen carefully and pay attention to my surroundings. I pick up on people's moods a lot and try to be positive while understanding.
But I am not overly social at work, actually sort of quiet. I am too much in a serious mood to be relaxed enough to talk smalltalk-trash while working, also not very good at it. So it's all action except for with costumers, then I for some reason snap into 'social mode' and am very talkative with humor and all.
There are ofc occations when I meet people that I 'click' with which means I have sprawling humor and lot's of social intrigue with them specifically.
I am guessing that maybe the quietness, nervousness and bouts of talkative extroverted moments along with being keen an observant might paint a mysterious picture that gains traction as co-workers talk rumors.. but I'm not sure. I rarely try to be flirtatious but people still try to complicate my work.
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+1 y
What are your thoughts? What can I do?
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+1 y
Ah. Large - a dramaqueen (prince itc). Could sure fit into that category, although not by choice as much as simply by being on edge 24/7. I get talking to a mirror and getting into the vibe you decide to practice sending but.. Is it really necessary to memorize jokes though? Doesn't it get very artificial and corny? Or are you saying it's just a stepstone towards a better flow of humor?
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