Coworker is playful but never seems to ask about my thoughts or feelings. I’m kinda annoyed by that. What’s wrong with him?

[Anonymous]

He’s flirty too. He has never said my name.

[Effably]

Is he flirting with you or is he flirty? Because those are not quite the same thing. I am generally a flirty person when in a good mood, which may be difficult to believe from my presence here. However half the time I am flirty because it is fun, not to make it go anywhere.

So basically, figure out what his intentions are.

[Asker]

I do think he’s more extroverted when in a good mood. I’ve seen him more quiet before. I think he was depressed maybe. But anyway yes he’s jokey and playful with everyone. I get it. But the complimenting my hair doesn’t seem platonic. Nor does staring intensely and long in my eyes.

[Asker]

How do I know if it’s meaningless flirting from him though?

[Effably]

Why not escalate it a bit? Flirt back. Make it obviously playful or funny. See where he slows it down or bows out. If he never stops the escalation, his interest in you is not pretended either.

[SnowedIn]

Steer clear. Nothing like this in workplaces works out.

[Asker]

Like what?

[SnowedIn]

Playful. Flirty. Asking about your thoughts and feelings. That leads to more flirting and crushes and all sorts of nonsense. Rather than annoyed, you should be happy he's not asking for your thoughts and feelings.

[Asker]

Hmm. I wanted to be asked out. But I’m annoyed cause he’s just flirting dangling a carrot. I don't know. Trust me I don’t seek flirting at work but guys always force themselves on me and I don't know why but I get stuck in the traps.

[SnowedIn]

I hear that. Sorry too. I'm looking at this from the perspective you should feel lucky! :) Workplace stuff (I think) is a minefield. But I totally understand wanting to be asked out.

[Asker]

Thanks :) yep I’ve been stuck in situations like this before. I don't know why guys do this so much. I get that some girls seem to like it but I really don’t and just get forced and trapped into it and my heart falls for it :/ and yeah I do wish I could be pursued seriously. It never happens.

[SnowedIn]

Really sorry! That's got to suck.

[Texaskid1]

Ignore and focus on why you are there. To do your job and get paid.

Nothing good comes from dipping your pen in the compony ink.

[Anonymous]

ignore him.

[Asker]

That’s mean

[Opinion Owner]

no it's not. it's mean that he's annoying you. it's mean that he never asks you about your thoughts or feelings. it's mean that he probably doesn't know your name.

[Asker]

Yah but I don’t have reason to expect him to logically speaking he doesn’t owe me that. I don't know

[Opinion Owner]

then i'm not sure why you're asking this question

[Anonymous]

he's not flirty