There’s a guy I like and I want to add him online but I’m nervous. We went to grade school together and he popped up in friend suggestions. Should I?

[Anonymous]

Would you think it’s stalker-ish if it’s someone you have never really conversed with in a long time? We went to school and rode the same bus when we were younger. He popped up on friend suggestions and I thought about him. He’s always been kind and intelligent and cute. How can I carefully craft a message to him so he doesn’t ignore my request?

Updates

+1 y

Update — he accepted my request! But I haven’t heard back from him yet. Kinda surprised he viewed my profile and accepted because he has really high standards for professional connections, etc.

[burlen]

It's perfectly normal to feel nervous when reaching out to someone you like, especially if you haven't talked to them in a long time. Adding him as a friend online is not stalker-ish, and it's a good way to reconnect and potentially start a conversation.

When crafting a message to him, keep it simple and friendly. You could start by mentioning that you saw him in friend suggestions and thought it would be nice to reconnect. You could also ask him how he's been and mention something specific that you remember from your grade school days together.

Be respectful and not come on too strong, but also not to be too vague or casual that your message gets lost in the shuffle.

Note that he may not respond right away, or at all, but that's okay - it's always worth taking a chance and reaching out to someone you're interested in.

[Asker]

I said “Hi Tom, I saw you as a suggestion and thought it’d be great to connect. We were in band and other things several years ago. I hope you’re doing well!

[burlen]

Great! You’ve done what you have to do. I’m rooting for you. 🤞🏾

[Asker]

Hey so he did accept my invite to connect but hasn’t written back to me. He may never. But he did view my profile and accept and he has high standards for these things since he went to Ivy League.

[Wise4myage]

Yes I say go for it. What do you have to lose?

[Asker]

Can I just say “hi ___, I saw you as a suggestion and thought it’d be great to connect. I hope you’re doing well!” Is that fine? Lmao

[Wise4myage]

Yes that sounds perfect.😊

[Asker]

I think he’d remember my name and how we know each other so I’ll exclude that.

[In_Trance]

Who is he? Is he married?

[Asker]

I don’t see a wedding m/marriage registry on the web 😂 I looked it up to verify.

[Anonymous]

Do it girl life is too short to get nervous 😘

[TrillXHippy]

Just do it