If someone knows about your bad health and still flirts is that a good sign?

[Monalisa77]

Why would they wanna flirt with someone who's got a zillion health issues. And why would they be surprised im not showing signs of interest as im confused why they behaving like this? Im pretty sure they must know I've hardly had much experience if at all. You would assume he's not taking advantage as that would be pretty cruel

[DaveJord]

Thats a tough one... like I understand where you are coming from. I got people that confuse me daily, like they are super nice... and you ask yourself are they really just that nice or are they fucking with me.

[Monalisa77]

He comes across so nice i can't understand why he would start taking advantage.

[DaveJord]

Maybe he is just a nice guy... that's the problem when a woman is nice to me for no reason... my mind goes to what is it she is really trying to do, because how often these days is someone nice to just ne nice?

Find a way to talk to him about it if it is messing with your mind, that is what I do.

[Monalisa77]

he's been staring more than once and stroked my hand. I clam up so bad around guys i like

[DaveJord]

Some guys take that clamming up is a sign to some guys, that they need to really earn your respect... like it's a challenge. But do not discount the fact that this guy could really just like you. You never really know until you find a way to talk to him about it.

[Monalisa77]

I worry it makes them shy too. he's a v chatty bloke n we were fine before this happened. I defo dont want it dragging on but we only see each other once a month at a group. I just presumed he wouldn't takr it as lack of interest as i too am usually chatty

[DaveJord]

Well until he askes for nubmer or asks you out... I would just assume it him being nice. I mean he is not really hurting anyone by being nice as long as he is being a gentleman.

But if you see him monthly ask if he would interest in cup of coffee sometime after you group thing. Feel him out and then decide what you want to do.

[Monalisa77]

Its night time. I've presumed guys have flirted with me before but i messed up and thats why things were ruined. Im scared of doing the same thing again and scaring him off. I've never had anyone stroke my hand before, even the previous guys whove flirted

[Monalisa77]

And tbat one included someone who was gay and definitely taking advantage. He pretended to like me to get my no to show off, but never touched me the way this guy did

[Monalisa77]

I was gonna message u but i can't

[Monalisa77]

It also an odd thing To do if ur just being nice as it could be taken the wrong way. No guy should touch a girls hand like that if theyre being nice, i would expect a pat on the hand or the head/shoulder as being nice. Plus he chats with a friend and isn't standing close to her to be the same *niceness*with her

[DaveJord]

So lets put less oon him and ask yourself if this more about him touching your hand or more about how it makes you feel.

Because to me it seems like your running down rabbit holes in your own head.

Sometime it's okay to indulge yourself... as get better at things like dating... it gets easier. To indulge yourself that is. These mountains we stack things on top of in our own heads... they become speed bumps.

[Monalisa77]

Atm yes i like the things he's doing because i dont really know him that well and he hasn't made much effort to talk to him, i fancy him but id need more than this if i were to properly like him

[Monalisa77]

**me. But I've only liked two guys in the past 5 years, i definitely didn't imagine him stroking my hand, i was literally left in shock. I stayed staring at it for s good few mins after lol i wouldn't have battled an eye lid over him before, i actually fancied his friend but he had a girlfriend lol

[Monalisa77]

he's said some things aswell and the way he's looked at me can't just be in my head

[Monalisa77]

I've been way more into other guys to notice the difference with this guy, i liked the last guy straight away n i was into him with no doubt i wanted ro snog him literally in the office at the time, i couldnt contain myself.. Its not like that with this guy, so I've no reason to assume he's doing these things

[DaveJord]

Indulge... just know it 50/50 if you get your feelings hurt... but if its fun and you get what you want out of, enjoy it for as long as it lasts. No regrets and move on.

[Monalisa77]

**i wasn't planning on liking anyone anytime soon cos i needed to focus on myself, when i like someone it affects my sleep and my moods where i can't concentrate on anything lol and im left so confused. Im defo gonna try and make him aware its bothering me and that i need to know what's going on

[Monalisa77]

Ill probably be disappointed if its not what i think, but it all comes under experience at the end of the day. I've got ideas in my head that someonss put him up to it, or he's trying to make another girl jealous, or he's on the rebound n thinks im easy lol so im more curious than invested and just trying to get on with my life than let it define me atm

[Monalisa77]

Plus id be Open to other blokes, say someone else happened to come along who made more of an effort, hed get A plus pt more than the other guy lol im dabbing myself to see whats out there atm, my age maybe 35 but mentally im early 20s lol

[DaveJord]

Yeah... you can do all that and have find time to stop and smell the daisies as well with this guy. Just determine what you want and don't worry so much on what his motivation is.

At end of the day, relationships can have short or long term goals... but you don't have to sacrifice one for the other, or can achieve one without the other, or you could achieve both or none.

If you get nothing out of it other than experience... live and learn and get better for next time. But if you get nothing out of it because you didn't try... well that's all on you not him.

[Anonymous]

That means he probably got an STD and will take what he can get.

[Monalisa77]

? He won't be getting a shag that easily. Lol

[Monalisa77]

And im sure he must know that

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah stay away from him.

[Monalisa77]

We go to the same event once a month. and he's related to my cousins, so if he tries taking advantage the fam will go mad with him.

[Monalisa77]

Do u think its impossible for someone to be genuine with someone whos got lot sof health issues then?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes I do think so. You'll find the one for you.

[Monalisa77]

Well no i sont cos my healths not gonna get any better

[Monalisa77]

I've only liked two guys in the last 5+ years.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think that would stop someone from loving you. Its hard for you, but I still think someone will still love you despite that.

[Monalisa77]

Thats what i wondered. I just can't imagine why hed take advantage. He said how much he likes helping people it would be the complete opposite of him to do this

[Jennz6]

Sounds like he’s desperate, I don’t think I’d want him

[Monalisa77]

he's v popular, has tones of friends and a good job. he's got no reason to be

[Jennz6]

I’m don’t know 💁‍♀️

[Monalisa77]

Im not sure yet if i really like him or am just curious. Im trying to make sense of it all

[eagle1951]

could be they are just being nice.

[Monalisa77]

Theyve been staring more than once